How Me Makes Me Feel In My Guts

*i can thank sza and her amazing album for my following behavior.

so before i walked in his job,
i wanted to make sure i was on point.
it was hot af outside,
but i literally walked around the corner.
still…
so once i got nothing in order,
i walked over to where he works.
there he was…

he looked so good from the back.
like,
i got hot in my privates.
he was looking over a stack of clothes.
his arms…

“well hello…”,
i said as i approached him.

his smile was big and his chest was out.
he told me to hang out by the register for a sec.
he had to look for some clothes.
i did as i was told.
as i looked at him walking around,
i was mesmerized by how handsome he was.
he is definitely a leader.
i love that shit.

once he was done,
we started to catch up.
i couldn’t stop looking in his eyes or his lips.
he does something to me.
his energy is so magnetic.
after i asked him how he has been,
he dropped the bomb on me:

“so i got back with my ex.
we worked some issues out and blah blah…”

as much as i was disappointed,
i let it go and continued being me.
i still found little ways to touch him tho.

his paw
his arm

i felt free and incredibly sexy in that moment.
it has been a while since i flirted heavy with a wolf.
he was telling me about his career and where he is going in life.
i could tell he would make a great boyfriend.
that is the type of wolf i’m interested in.
one who is uplifting,
driven,
and sexy as all fuck in and out of fur.
so i told him.
i said

“you’re the type of wolf we all want.
we,
as foxes,
spend decades trying to find someone like you.
your ex is very lucky.
i would definitely have you if you were single.”

yes.
i was on my “big titty tasha” from “insecure”.
i know better,
but i was on a high that had me ack’n up.
he had the biggest smile on his face.
if he was white,
he would be red.

when i was leaving,
he gave me the biggest and tightest hug.
i felt his paws rubbing on my back.
when i tried to pull away,
he still held on to me.

“text me soon.”

“you know i will…”

i’m not looking for the text tho.
it will never work tho.
karma is real and i’m not with the shits.
that feeling i had with him is what i want again tho.
so…

i want a wolf i’m attracted to,
is single and will love me,
to come into my life and change it for the better.
no games.
no diseases.
no drama.
just him and me on this journey called life.
i won’t have to chase him because he will be an easy catch.

that’s it.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

21 thoughts on “How Me Makes Me Feel In My Guts

  1. Be his friend. Stay in touch. You never know what the future holds. Either you will earn a really good friendship. …or if you stayed in the picture you could have had him by now. You never know if the opportunity presents its self again. But ficus in being a friend. You will learn more about him

    1. Exactly. Seems like a good dude and friends are a benefit in this life. Friends like you…

      Go with that flow and maybe a great platonic relationship can develop.

      Especially here in New York, it’s good to know cool-headed, working men.

      1. ^thank you butter.

        i am attracted to his light.
        he is very inspirational and sees the best in me.
        he is like the foxhole in the bawdy i love.
        lol

  2. Can you be friends without being attracted to him in that way? That’s the question. If you can’t, release him to the universe. Cause you gonna have to be friends with the bf too.

    From what you font, it seems as if he’s a nice guy. he knew that you were interested in more than his friendship, he maybe should have made his feelings towards you more clear so you know where you stand.

    1. ^and after all my past with wolves,
      i decided to send him to the universe.
      i’m not with the shits.
      ww was the biggest drama i had to overcome.
      i’m not trying to re-do the sequel.

  3. Aww damn I got excited, but I’m glad that your head is where it’s at with this. Maybe, he has a single friend he can hook you up with, or his boyfriend might even have a wolf for you.

  4. Best of luck to you!!! Reminds me of this guy I have the hots for, for a long time, tall, good looking, and much younger. He’s newly single, with 3 kids, I saw him today @ the gym I was able to get a hug. He told me he’s been hanging out by himself lately, he really seemed excited to see me, as I was to see him, he parents live 1 block away from me, he’s over there all of the time. Help, I don’t want to get my face cracked.

    1. @sixtree…just continue to be you. Take it slow, don’t throw yourself at him. Get a feel for where his head is by hanging with him, if you can. If he knows that you’re living in the same neighborhood as his parents, invite him to stop by one day or something. If it comes out he’s not interested, remain friends with him.
      Give him an ear for his issues. I’m sure he would be appreciative, and if the moment is right…VERY appreciative. LOL

      1. @sixtree…you’re welcome. The thing is to make them feel comfortable with/around you.
        Once they are, there’s no telling what they will say/do.

  5. Good for you! Just stay an acquaintance , while you could try to build a friendship with him there is too much flirtation between you two for it to be a real. It’s never a true friendship if one is attracted to the other or both. Like you stated been there done that, we foxes need to start allowing wolves in our lives that we know from jump want us, no questions needed.

    I do agree with Eric and maybe see if he has any sexy friends to send your way but I doubt it since I have a feeling they won’t be able to compare to him ( personality or look wise).

    P.S. So glad the SZA album grew on you.

    1. I don’t know about that Mikey…my best friend and I flirted with one another, but we never crossed that line. What we had was genuine and strong.

      as for allowing people into our lives that want us…that’s a hard one because most kats will throw you signs, but the minute you say something to them they wanna get ignorant and try to play you. I’ve seen it done to others, and I’ve had it done to me. That’s a tricky ones because most wolves wanna stay hidden, even though they slip up every now and then.

      1. What’s up Christian, your friendship with your besties sounds cool I should have clarified in my comment there’s an exception to every rule lol

        For me personally I’ve never been able to have a true friendship with a wolf I’ve had a crush or had had sexual thoughts about. I’ve had what I thought were friendships with certain wolves but it was really me crushing on them and being happy to have them in my space because of those romantic feelings, and having those wolves pick up on those feelings and use it to their advantage. If I have a crush on you from jump I can’t really treat you like a real friend I’m going to be doing stuff for you or hanging out with you because I have romantic feelings for you. I’m still a work in progress I’m just not there at that point where I can flirt with someone I’m crushing on and put them in the friend zone. I’m going to be hoping or wishing ( like I’ve done in the past) that something pops off from this.

        In my comment I was speaking more from personal experience, I really just referring to a certain kind of wolf. I want to allow wolves in that I don’t have to play the whole bi-curious game with, or be a part time girlfriend with none of the romantic aspects that come with that.

      2. It’s all good, Mikey. I know what you mean.

        I usually go into situations with a mindset that it’s going to either be a friendship or a relationship.
        If it’s both, that’s a bonus. He and I, we just bonded through conversation. Hooking up was never a thought, for me. I don’t know if he ever had that thought either. He did mention to me once that I was the only friend of his that he never slept with, and that was while we were lying in bed watching a movie. LOL

        Like I said though, we flirted, but it never crossed the line. It was more of us talking junk to one another.

  6. Jamari.. Maybe that was meant to happen to you can finally close the door to him. You know allot of times we carry lustful thoughts for another person hoping that they can see in us what we see in them. But you seeing him and him telling you that he is back with his ex, now you can close that door and allow God and the universe to bring you someone meant for you and you only.

  7. You can be his friend, but you cannot allow yourself to catch feelings for this man either. A big issue with gay and bisexual men is they cannot form stable and platonic relationships with their attractive friends. I know some who re waiting for their friends to become single just so they can be with them.

  8. Jamari,

    1. Friendship is a good thing. Be friends with him. Gay relationships often don’t last long so if he breaks up with his boyfriend, you might be there to pick up to pieces. But in the meantime, don’t be “touchy-feely” with him. That may scare him away or prompt his boyfriend to ask him to ditch your friendship.
    2. Ask him for referrals to friends of his. If you like him, you may like his friends. “Birds of a feather flock together.”
    3. You often are impressed with the bodies of men. Men who spend a lot of time at the gym working on their bodies often like men who spend a lot of time at the gym working on their bodies. So you should work on your body.

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