FUCK 2014?

i said it.
“fuck 2014”.
well if we really want to be technical,
fuck 2012 and 2013 as well.
i’ve have had one trying year after another.
the bad definitely outweighed the good.
or did it?
i decided to look through my gratitude journal yesterday.
even though this year sucked ass,
and not in the way i hoped,
i did upgrade a few things…

tumblr_m82afsiYqR1rrhe80o1_500upgraded: STRENGTH

i was tested this year.
boy was i tested.
i had liar liar,
my boss,
and everyone who took their side all come at me crazy.
i was lied on and they tried to ruin my reputation.
i remained strong and didn’t let them see me sweat.
i simply used my fox-like cunning and thwarted all their attacks.
they threw stones.
i launched boulders.
“is that the best you got?”
i exposed liar liar for her lies and gained alliances from higher ups.
i became stronger in facing adversity.

upgraded: TURN DOWN

going from “o to 100” only leads to destruction.
the person who is always on the attack creates silent enemies.
the person who remains nice creates a solid reputation.
you don’t have to say everything that is on your mind.
when you are mad,
or being an asshole,
everything always comes out wrong.
everything said about you doesn’t need a response.
some people need to show their ass now,
so they can expose themselves later.
i learned to turn down for antics.

upgraded: PATIENCE

2013 was all about my journey looking for a job.
when i stopped chasing and stopped trying to swim upstream,
that is when this job fell into my lap.
the smart fox knows when to wait until he knows its clear.
i learned to relax and let nature take its course.

upgraded: CREDIT

i got my first credit card this year.
my credit score is at a great place.
when i was unemployed,
i went to a “business building” seminar that introduced me to credit.
i started thinking about the whole forest instead of just the trees ahead.
my dream is to own a condo or a townhouse.
i also want a car.
no one will trust me with their money because i dress nice or look good.
i learned that credit is important if you want to own your own shit.

upgraded: FRIENDSHIP

friendship is a two way street.
if you want to be cool with me,
then my door is always open.
i don’t chase anyone for their companionship.
i don’t turn down the opportunity to make new friends.
i don’t hop in and out of friendship either.
i am pretty loyal and i realized not everyone can handle that.
everyone isn’t equipped to be a good friend.
i can now sniff out the rancid scent of a bad one.
i learned that i am a good friend and not everyone deserves that.

upgraded: GOALS

i know exactly what i want with my life.
i want to write for this blog,
write books,
and open up an image consulting agency for wolves with a full staff.
i am headed in the direction of being the male “carrie bradshaw”.
and fine wolves.
i will acquire a press pass so i can attend events and review them.
i learned that 2015 will be the rise of who i am supposed to be.

upgraded: THANKFUL

the only thing that brings joy in my life is the foxhole.
this site allows me to share my story with other classy like minded gay men.
the foxhole is constantly growing and evolving.

ijfstatsi don’t have some rinky dink website.
when i write; people read.
this year allowed me to be noticed more.
people reached out to be so i could blog about them.
we may love the same sex here,
but that doesn’t our money and attention isn’t as worthy as the straights.
hell the straights don’t even pay for nothing.
they better NOT forget that shit.
so it has been another excellent year within the foxhole.
i learned to be thankful for even the smallest blessing.

upgraded: FAITH

i became more spiritual.
god is good.
how good is he?
all the time.
the universe continues to provide for me.
i am never hungry nor beg.
even tho i am living check to check,
i have a roof over my head and luxuries i can afford.
i learned that god always needs to come first.

upgraded: WORTH

i started to learn my worth this year.
the “gold digga” era has allowed me to learn who i am.
the fire has molded me into who i am.
even tho i am single,
i am continuously growing into a fox a wolf would love.
 i have to love me first.
i have to be selfish about me.
i started facing myself and confronting the things i was scared of.
i’m learning if i don’t establish my worth now,
then that gives someone else the power to devalue me.


so even tho 2014 had its moments,
i can’t deny the good it has brought.
i know 2014 may have been hard for you,
but try looking at all the blessings it has brought.
there has got to be something.

4-1keep digging deep until you find it.

16 thoughts on “FUCK 2014?

  1. Great look back at the year. Glad we all learned something from this year, and I hope 2015 is even better for us.

  2. This has actually been a pretty good year for me I’ve done things I never thought I would do I have worked hard and I started college. I want more I’m kind of feeling stuck but I’m making the moves now to get to where I want to be.so 2015 is going to be all about continuing those moves so I can make things happen. This year has definitely had its ups and downs (more ups than downs) but I’m still pushing through. Here’s hoping next year we all find the Wolf or fix of our dreams.

  3. This year went very well for me, and I’m looking forward to next year. I feel blessed as I could possibly be.

  4. I was so positive at the beginning of 2014. Then God said “nope, I’m gonna keep your ass down for another year.” I tried my best to not fall back into a negative mindset. I know at some point somethings gotta give so I still have hope.

    1. ^lets change that mindset for 2015.
      the fact you are alive for another year is a major blessing.
      even though your life may not be perfect,
      we all have to remind ourselves of the fact we are not suffering like others.
      also you are extremely intelligent.
      not many people are blessed with that.

  5. You better obtain those goals if you want that condo and car fox then put that goal on a piece of paper and obtain it. I am here for you Jamari it is time to go in and let have.

  6. Amen Jamari! I can say that 2014 was a year of trial and error for me as well! But I am on my way to a better life! You are so right about being thankful! You can never receive any other gifts in your life if you’re not thankful for what you already have! God bless you for all you do for the foxhole and for just being who you are!

    1. ^thank you cm.
      that means a lot.
      next year will be the year we all rise like the phoenix from the ashes.
      i want to thank you so much for all the support.
      it means so much.

  7. I have had some trial this year myself, but like you said, you have to look at your blessings. When I think about it, they far outweigh the bad. I got my first job out of college this year and I am doing very good there. Looking forward to a promotion or raise with the coming year. Also bought my first car this year which I am proud of. One thing you said that stuck out is ” if i don’t establish my worth now then that gives someone else the power to devalue me.” SOOOO TRUE!! I am still working on this aspect of my life. Too often I place my worth on what others say or think. I’ve got to change that in 2015.

  8. I was blessed as well this year. I was blessed with a new career path job. Getting rid of toxic people that didn’t deserve me as a friend. I was blessed with learning a lot about myself and loving myself even more.I was blessed for a lot even through the trials and tribals. But also blessed to have gone through this year with you too JF although not physical by mentally I could relate to a lot with you. Thank You.

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