it’s so funny how closure works.
you either get it or you end up doing it yourself.
i did the latter and it all came to an end today…
i literally just woke up from the nap i took when i got in.
these last few days have been non stop rush.
my department was packing up to move to the new spot next week.
yesterday i ended up leaving at 11pm.
11-fuckin’-pm.
even though we are moving,
i still had a ton of work i had to get done as well.
sometime in the morning,
after we had a full catered breakfast,
liar liar pulled me to the side and shared a secret with me
she gave her two weeks.
riiiiiiiigggggghhhhttttt.
it shocked the fuck outta me.
she has been complaining about the whole move in general.
the commute for her will be farther,
plus she didn’t want to continue on with the company any longer.
she was taking a ton of random “sick days” so i already knew.
even though we went at it a few times,
i got to know her better within these last few months.
we ain’t gonna be friends,
but i do wish her all the best.
wow.
that means i am the last fox standing.
as i was packing up,
i got a text from a number i didn’t recognize at first.
it wasn’t until i read the message,
i knew who it was.
“wassup jamari.
we need to talk.
i been thinking about you and wanted to say i’m sorry…”
it was work wolf.
didn’t think i’d hear from him until:
i didn’t know how to reply to him tbh.
a side of me didn’t.
but another side urged me to.
i decided to call his extension.
we spoke for close to an hour.
he told me he missed me so much,
but he needed space.
during the time we were fighting a lot,
he was dealing with a lot of stress from his job and his family.
when we chilled in the beginning,
it was an escape for him,
but i started acting too much like what he was trying to get away from.
he also said that i was acting too much like “a vixen”.
being jealous and lashing out when i didn’t do what i wanted him to do.
I can admit that
he admitted it was cowardly to just up and ghost me like that.
i had him real vex though.
i told him how much he hurt me by doing that.
Why lie?
i wasn’t trying to look like “the big bad fox” today.
like my shit didn’t stink and i was good.
i wasn’t.
i took responsibility for all my actions within the fall out.
i didn’t apologize for the entire situation,
but only for the part i played within.
judging from the conversation,
he experienced a shit load of karma during our separation.
fell out with some family members
got betrayed by some colleagues
had to move out and find a room
“yeah,
life has been a roller coaster for me since we stopped talking…”
there i was thinking he was doing well.
one thing that actually surprised me is the vixen we use to chill with.
he went to her and told her how much he missed me,
and heard that i will be leaving the building soon,
but didn’t know how to approach.
they have been lowkey talking about me,
how he may have lost a good animal with his ignorance,
and that door will be closed once i bounce.
i found it weird she asked me one day,
a couple weeks ago,
if i heard from him.
well he has a vixen now.
gorgeous.
they been together for 3 weeks.
he says he is falling in love with her.
i’m shocked he said “love”.
he did ask me if i could do his hair again soon.
“sure”
the weird part is,
i didn’t feel the same as i once did for him.
he was “heart eyes and blushing cheeks” for me.
now i don’t really care as much as.
i guess for me,
i ended up getting my closure once he hit me up.
as soon as i heard him say he was sorry,
a weight lifted off my life.
will we ever be close as we once were?
who knows.
we are going two separate places in this move.
things could very well be different.
i’m not in a rush to find out tho.
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wow.
that’s growth.
okay.
back to sleep now.
lowkey: oh.
mi got all the money she owed the landlord.
Let Go And Let God is a cliche but it’s what you did. You handled WW well. Glad you are growing. Proud of you.
I am so glad that you got your closure. But just remember that closure is exactly that, a separation and an ending of a relationship. Please do not go back to him. I’d hate to see you in the pain that he put you through again. Move on and continue the growth that you have been achieving as of late. Even a friend that you have no attraction to can hurt you badly.
Wow, so glad I woke up to this. To think that these people have been the ones that have given you the most stress in the past year, and now you got closure and have moved on from them( well mi is still there but I have a feeling it won’t be for long).
While reading this I see the growth you’ve made you handled all of these situations with maturity. There have definitely been lessons to learn from Liar Liar and WW and in the end I’m glad you went through what you did with them you are a better person for it in my opinion.
I know I say this alot but I’m really proud of you can can’t wait for your wins to come.
^thank you so much mikey!
that means a lot.
thank you to everyone who had an opinion about this entry today as well.
It’s amazing how our mind works, we always think that when someone does us wrong and they seemed not be bothered that we are the only one left suffering but I am now seeing that is so far from the truth and this situation proves it. I saw a close friend who I fell out with in 2013 last weekend when I went out. To this day I dont know why he stop talking to me but he has done it a couple of times in the past and I always came back around and let it go. This time however I changed my number, ended up moving so I hadnt seen him in almost 3 years. I think we were both shocked to see each other. We were cordial and did a little catching up, I could tell immediately that he was super happy to see me, and although he wouldnt admit it to me, he probably missed our friendship because he was eager to give me his phone number and ask me to call him. I have yet to do so, I dont know if I want to open that door only for him to get mad about something and stop speaking to me. I am over that type of behavior in grown ass people. I think people are shock when you move on and then they realize how good you were in their life and have regrets for treating you shitty. Sometimes in life we just have to move on and know that the Universe will take care of everything and everybody who did us wrong and it applies to us as well to the ones we did wrong. I am glad you got closure to see that all the hurt you were experiencing with WW he was hurting too and just putting on a brave face. I must admit that he is not a total asshole, his goodbye let me know that he genuinely cared for you and realized that you were a unique person that he will never forget. And I am not buying the Im in Love with a Vixen story either, this pineapple is trying to fall in Love to get over the Love he lost in you! 🙂 🙂
Well it is good to see him come around to his senses. Did I read that Liar is leaving in two weeks? Well that will be the end of the tension forever between you two.
^twooooooooooooo weeeeekkkkkkksssssss!!!!!!!
thank god…
but now i’m temporarily stuck at this job.
ugh.
This must be a sigh of relief for you because she was causing you so much grief. Hopefully your work environment will be tolerable until you’re able to find something better. Anything that makes the transition easier is a win for you!! That must feel great that she is leaving and will be out of your life! *finally*
Will it still be really shitty for you after she leaves? Or does that change the dynamic for the better for you? She was a major problem for you at one point.
^its gonna be busy because I’m trying to figure out who is gonna do her work?
it will be me,
the other 3 in my department,
and whoever they hire to replace her down in this new spot.
they are being cheap to cut costs and its feeling like slave labor at this point.
Oh Okay now I see! At least the atmosphere will be less toxic for you! …hopefully lol.
I’m glad you guys have cleared the air. Tension is the worst. You should still focus on your life and goals though, let him do what he’s going to do. You’ve made a lot of good progress in the last few months, that’s something worth holding on to. This chapter is all about YOU J!
Maybe you two can be real friends now with any sexual tension……… or not. Lol. Either way I’m glad you’re good bro.
There y’all go…see. Don’t even joke about the sexual tension part.
^DEFINITELY not going that route again with him.
mm mm clears throat….
without* LOL. That was a typo.
I’m glad you have come to peace. Its seems to me liar liar is friendly because work wolf is gone and I bet she got away with those sick days no questions asked. rekindle that relationship with work wolf, especially doing his hair. I wonder if he wouldn’t mind a nice massage, hmm…
Very proud of you man. You could have easily cussed dude out and never spoken to him after what he did. Your maturity in handling this situation speaks volumes to your character and the very reason he had to come back and make things right with you. I’m happy for your closure and growth.
Woooooooow; closure is good thing especially with matters of the heart.
Ww made his bed, now he has to lay in it, in life if we are lucky,we get 1true friend who wishes us well, so let him find some other fox to use and play head games, let him find someone else to do his hair, now you ghost him and now let the energy of you and him die. He has shown you who he is, believe him now, love peace and light.
I knew he would come around and speak to u again. U handled it very well