Don’t Take Me Being Nice For Weakness

tumblr_mfc1hnEA9p1rs4vzjo1_500i’m starting to realize that…
one of the greatest weapons you can posses is being nice.
yes.
you read right.
i’m actually saying this.
for a long time,
i thought being “the asshole” was better.
nasty,
ignorant,
MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY,
“UH UH NO YOU DIH’NT”.
asshole.
you know those types.
i’ve witnessed people bowing down to those who were mean and nasty.
its hard not to think you have to become that to gain respect.
well guess what?
it takes experiencing something to see that it’s not what you want…

i was reading a comment from mikey yesterday about ( x your personal scent ).
it stuck with me all night into today.
he said:

“I’m not sure what scent I’m giving off to these wolves out here to be honest. I trying to be a really nice person and I think at times it can be my downfall. I have low self-esteem at times to the point where I think that it’s paired with my niceness and these wolves have me sniffed out as some easy prey or something.”

tumblr_lksayqiLsJ1qa49pqo1_500i feel you mikey!!!!
if only you knew.
yes…
being nice does has its disadvantages.
you are easily walked over and no one takes you seriously.
the problem with being nice is three things:

not knowing yourself
not knowing how to say no
not pulling out your “YOU PLAYING WITH THE WRONG ONE MUTHAFUCKA!”

i’m genuinely a nice person,
but i am also assertive about my feelings and what i deserve.
it wasn’t always like that tho.
don’t get me wrong i will listen to you,
let you cry on my shoulder,
and sleep on my couch (for a night or two tho).
(what?)
when you violate tho…

tumblr_lknm4bDQ1F1qa49pqo1_500 tumblr_lknmmydgUN1qa49pqo1_500…not a good look.
i’m learning now that you can be nice,
but you also have to be tough.
you can’t let bad behavior slide.
when someone violates,
you gotta call people on it immediately.
even with your man.
you can’t have him out here trying you with dumb shit.
people will test you to see how far they can take you.
if you are willing to bend over backwards and not present a challenge,
then this is where being nice falls into being a dumb ass.

as you know with my job,
almost everyone in my department is a bitch or an asshole.
i actually sat and observed these people and realized i’ve won.
no one actually respects them outside this department.
i get more attention for being a nice person than they do a bitch.
something went down today and of course my name was drug into it.
one of the assistants came to my defense and shut everyone down.
when you are genuine about your shit,
you don’t have to explain who you are.
you let your actions speak for themselves.
when that happens,
people will either come to your rescue OR won’t believe it.

so being nice isn’t so bad after all.
shidddddd rihanna inspired me yesterday with what she did for her fans.
i love her attitude.
nice,
down to earth,
but still you know she don’t play that.
in a life where a lot of gays are very nasty and bitter,
try to call you out for their own shortcomings and jealousy,
you actually stand out when you go against the grain.
it maybe hard at first,
but use that niceness to your advantage.
the people meant to be in your life will appreciate it.
the ones who aren’t will feel threatened by it.
i know the person of your dreams will.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

9 thoughts on “Don’t Take Me Being Nice For Weakness

  1. Yea, I feelin this post. I can be as sweet as candy, but I can pop like a firecracker in a heartbeat. You gotta have that two way personality to survive in this world.

    1. ^Amen to that one, Man! I’m the same. I am nice, but if you cross me or are disrespectful…like Bruce Banner (Hulk) used to say, “you won’t like me when I’m angry.” LOL
      I’m quick to let a person know not to mistake my kindness for weakness.

  2. Wow, I Get home from school and see this post , thanks so much for these words because for the past few weeks I’ve been thinking that I should just be a bitch to everyone and just let the chips fall where they may. I mean I like being there for the people in my life but it can be exhausting at times. I just hope the wolf I mentioned isn’t using me because of my niceness and does actually see someone he can be with.

    Again thanks a ton for this post. It’s a good lesson to live by and I’ll be adding it to the favorites.

    1. Mikey…you should be upfront with them all. While you should never let anyone change you from the person you are, you need to let them know that your kindness should not be mistaken for weakness and that you won’t hesitate to call them out on their BS.

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