I have dated males,
who were curious,
but they were never interested in me romantically.
i’m here to tell you curious males are not what they’re cracked up to be.
i have this thing where i can attract males to me like bees to honey.
it might be my style,
height,
bomb personality,
or the gayness they could see in me.
curious straight males were like hawks because i wasn’t like the others.
it wasn’t a compliment because they ended up treating me like the others.
they wanted to fuck but i was giving them “the boyfriend” experience.
I’m glad it never happened with any of them tbh.
i was reading this thread on reddit called:
“Straight men who have tried gay sex: what did you like and didn’t like about it?”
…and many of the comments gave me a couple a-ha moments.
this one comment especially…
^that can be the reality for some of the curious.
don’t get me wrong because there are exceptions to the rules.
you can tell when a male is in it for the long haul tho.
this is where my a-ha moment came in:
A-Ha Moment 1
the moment you show interest back is when he pulls away.
that is a control tactic.
he wants to get your hopes up only to not cum through.
he wants to control the narrative because he is insecure af.
YOU COULD BE WAITING FOR YEARS FOR HIM TO GET IT TOGETHER.
God forbid that you end up waiting for years and he is trash.
your fantasy of him is usually better than the reality of him.
A-Ha Moment 2
usually,
it’s just “cumming” from a place of sex.
males are sexual creatures.
he led you down a path where you thought it was more.
i’m here to font that he just playing games with his unsure head ass.
he doesn’t want to experiment because you are the noah to his wade.
HE JUST WANTS TO FUCK TO SEE IF HE LIKES IT.
but,
like the reddit comment above,
what if he doesn’t have sex with you after you waited so long?
or,
what if he can’t stay hard or “comes to senses” once inside you?
you will feel really shitty (no pun intended) and used.
that isn’t a good feeling.
i think it’s best to avoid the freshly curious ones.
even the ones that “did it once but might do it again“.
they are unreliable af.
Stick with bi or gay males who:
- Know their way around and inside other males
– They liked their experiences with the same-sex
– Can stay hard because they are 110% into it
anything else is a dub and a waste of time.
you will regret it when they cut you off for a vixen.
Stop looking and fantasizing about the potential.
i wish i would have learned that lesson early on.
it would have saved me a ton of heartache.
read the entire thread: here
That moment you read an entry on the foxhole and dont know whether to reflect or just cry because you have experience this same thing from a Str8 dude and you get mad at yourself all over again for wasting so much time pursuing someone who didnt give a damn about your feelings; only the feels good you gave them by giving them so much of your time and attention. I agree the fantasy is always better than the reality. I could literally contribute a 5 paragraph essay to this topic but at the end of the day, I have no one but myself to blame for getting sucked into the fantasy of the forbidden fruit of straight men. I will probably always lust after them and fantasize about them but only in my head they are not worth the headache in the long run to try to pursue them and actually think they are going to deal with you on any other level other than one that will benefit them financially, physically and emotionally while not giving no Fcks about any of that when it concerns you.
Im watching a certain zeus show and it reminded me of this like on one hand i get the fantasy we are men And that’s something men are into fantasy but the other its like we are allowing ourselves to be toyed with unfortunately because of smoke & mirrors. I do agree though stick to somebody that will actually give those feelings back.
This entire post is a WORD. In my 35 years on this Earth I’ve learned and still have to remind myself at times. Some of them just want to keep you as their fantasy. They only creep through at night, and try to control the narrative. I have someone that I’ve dealt with on and off for 6 yrs that literally tried to pop up each time I’d cut him off. Thank God he finally left the city. I feel like I was under his spell
^ THAT “UNDER A SPELL FEELING” IS A WORD
it’s like you cannot resist him.
even if he is just “okay”,
he is like the most beautiful wolf you done ever seen.
once these types get in your head,
it’s a wrap and you find yourself compromising YOU for him.
Jamari 🦊
We are both crabs, so you will get this
I have never ever said this before- but I was into the sex but not into the activist struggle of gayness. Stonewall isn’t equivocal to the March On Washington, nor equivalent to our struggle as Brown skinned people. Comparisons are made to the Civil Rights movement & wrongly appropriated. I lived in San Francisco many years. The “struggle” was usually about our Caucasian friends spoilt sense of entitlement, not true inclusiveness.
If we can disengage ourselves from seeking emotional and mental healing from between the legs of strangers, so much useless suffering could be avoided. That Asian queen was not even listening, he said head, not anal. Clarifying our desire in advance, even for casual encounters is so important.
^“If we can disengage ourselves from seeking emotional and mental healing from between the legs of strangers, so much useless suffering could be avoided.”
i’m finding myself on this type of time now.
therapy has made me learn boundaries and how to turn off my emotions.
We leave the farm
(Green Acres) with cotton balls in our heels and get starry eyes for city slickers.
Nobody tells young gay men or women to seek a semblance of something emotional versus the hookup. We do indeed give boyfriend privileges to late night door scratchers, just intent on a nut, like Malcolm just wrote. Glad you are evolving.
^ i feel so cold towards certain things these days.
it’s like therapy turned a switch off in my head now.
things i use to find attractive aren’t as much anymore.
there are males i stopped speaking to because i don’t like how they moved with me.
that was when i knew my life and mentals was changing.
Ding ding!!! Thank u @khalil
It’s hard for me to participate in gay Events bc there are two extremes
The black gays are vapid using onlyfans as a come up scamming in many cases bc they didn’t apply themselves in school and need a quick get rich scheme
The white gays are entitled and racist
So when people talk about this homophobic shit they experience from straights I often wonder have they been around Gays to see the racism and hatred that’s passed one to the next???
Regarding the topic of the thread I notice that straight men have always treated me differently. I’ve mentioned before I’m small in height. I’ve had guys open the door for me, hold the elevator, chase me down to give me gifts in public and these are all “straight” men. I often wonder is it because I grew up having female friends so I give them not a fem vibe aesthetically necessarily, but the aura and social cues I give off make them comfortable to almost flirt with me. I’m talking about hood ass guys. So it’s almost a turn on to walk by and see them checking out my ass. Or passing me the hookah at a party. But when I’m around gay men too long I get a sense of unnecessary shadiness
Maybe I’m jaded from the community but there’s def a difference in how straight men vibe with me. And I’m not even someone who is dead set on dating a DL, they’ve pursued and I’ve declined bc I know they only want sex
But it seems harder and harder to have a formidable relationship with a black or Latino man nowadays. They’re sex obsessed and driven only by money and social climbing. Straight men know how to be lowkey. Some of the hottest guys in the straight community have private pages and 300 followers. Gays always want attention for being cute like they never been told before.
^ i’ll say this and i’ll continue to say it…
my community has surprised and shocked me because i didn’t have kind experiences in the gay community tbh.
the only person i clicked with and would ride hard for me was star fox.
i dealt with some of the most nastiest gay males irl.
the foxhole legit shocked tf outta me with the support tbh.
i’m always grateful but scared of the “gotcha” because of what i went through within the life.
some gays are so fucking mean and hurtful and for no reason.