Yesterday’s entry, The Wolf Who Raised His Tail… and Liked It, was pretty epic.
The comment section was full of knowledge and good conversation as usual.
Those who don’t get it in with the comments, you are missing out!
Don’t be shy because we don’t bite…
I noticed two of my favorite commenter Wolves left some questions for everyone.
Ready for them?….
blkcasting man asks…
.1 Do most Foxes really want to be in a good healthy long term relationship with a good man or do they want a relationship with a sexual position?
2. Are most Foxes so full of self loathing that the very ideal of someone who is topping them also getting topped by someone else do disgusting to them that it makes them physically ill?
3. Are most Foxes so unrealistic in their sexual expectation of tops that they end up putting so much pressure on them to think and to perform as Uber tops and in the end they create the very tops that the claim to hate the which is the self-lover and serial toppers?
4. Are the tops who feed into these unrealistic expectation of these Foxes crippling themselves sexually and emotionally?
5. Do most Foxes really crave opening and loving relationships from their top partners that as soon as the top wants to try something new sexually they run screaming from the room only to find themselves back in the dating pool searching for that perfect top?
6. Do the tops that feed into the I am a total top for life and if you are even thinking about my azz I will telepathically pick it up and feel violated really happy in their relationship long term?
————————————————
JAY asks…
1. Do you even touch your dicks during sex? A lot of bottoms I know don’t even acknowledge them.
2. Is there actual pleasure in bottoming, or is it the act of being dominated that satisfies you? I found myself a little confused as to what its supposed to feel like.
Very good questions.
I’ll post my answers in a few.
NEVER!
Is it one of those…
You don’t know unless you try kind of things?
I cannot wrap my head around it at all
Jar:
No I am not saying that foxes are sexually doomed, because people tend to be able to find whatever they need to get them through the day. Again I am speaking about what would happen if a fox is in a long term relationship and the wolf want’s to flip? The general feedback that I read from this forum’s Foxes is that they would leave the relationship, and again I think that when you look at the numbers Wolves and hybirds have more options when it comes to sexual partners than foxes do. Also I learned long time ago that getting down with other men is usually an age game. Now I don’t know how old you or the other foxes are in this forum, but I hate to compare foxes to women but stats show that the older a women gets who is unmarried the less likely they will get married.
I have spoken to a lot of foxes in the late 20’s through their early 50’s and they always talk about how lonely they are because they don’t have a significant other. I am not saying that wolves and hybirds don’t end up lonely as they get older, however it seems that the foxes are the ones who are impacted more than the other groups as they age. I haven’t heard from any foxes throughout this post if they can even get an erection if asked to top. Also many of the foxes who I have spoken to have become more versatile foxes and some wolves in the same demographic group say they have become more versatile wolves in order to secure a relationship and maintain a long term relationship. Again at the end of the day we like what we like however, I do think that heated discussions such as this one is very important to all of use who are sexual beings, and I am so thankful to have been a part of it.
This, right here, summed up my entire point. Thank you.
Whoa, people got their fangs out. LOL. As far as the questions that I posed, I appreciate the responses. It is what it is. Different strokes for different folks. I just do not understand how some people can disregard major components of their body used for sexual gratification when sexing with another. I have run across some that get truly offended. I just keep it moving. I am a tad bit too old for the games.
@R… Trust me, I have run across many who just want to be stuck, no foreplay, no nothing. A couple of slobs on my knob and they think I am ready to go. Where they do that at?
Also, some wolves call foxes bitches because they love to be called bitches during sex. It is usually the very flamboyant foxes who already, in some form of fashion, think that they are female. Once again, it is what it is and many get into that kind of talk during sex, not I.
So even though this post is to create dialogue, let’s not get too combative. You all ask for Wolves input and you get some. None of us, foxes/wolves/hybrids/vixens, whatever can speak for everyone as a whole. Therefore, we are all coming from our experiences, whether personal or what we have seen.
@Jay, you have summed it up perfectly. I don’t see a dude’s sexual do’s and don’ts on his forehead when I meet him and if I’m really trying to get to know him what he does in bed probably won’t be discussed until I’m actually
interested in him in that way. I don’t even really want to discuss sex unless we’re ready to do it really.
Anthony I agree with you on everything you posted, because no wolf.fox, or hybird can speak for all the others in their demographic group. I think in general wolves, and hybirds sexually may have more options than most the foxes do because they can mix it up a bit more. A wolf has other wolves, hybirds, and foxes to choose from and hybrids tend to go with what they want at a particular time. So wolves are generally not going to stick around for a split second if their sexual partner isn’t telling them what they want to hear. I am not saying that most foxes will for the record. Again I argue the point like str8 black men when dealing with women since they are in a minority they know that they can cast a wider sexual net, and generally are not going to stick with women who are not going to give them what they want sexually unless they are married to them.
^so you are saying Foxes are doomed if they aren’t sexually free with their Wolves?
I found this discussion interesting and sat on the sidelines.
As a Fox, I sided more with Vain because I can understand his point.
I also get your point blk and I appreciate that “other” voice.
Sexually, I know what I will and won’t do.
I can push the limits to freakdom,
but my Wolf should understand if I do not want to throw my dick in him.
Who knows what I will do “in the moment”, but today, I’m good.
I can’t believe Vain and BCM are still going at it.lol
I find it worth noting that I have seen instances of two tops being in a monogamous relationship where the compromise in one way or another. Hell, I’ve even heard stories of hybrid AND top and bottom couples swinging in the same apartment at the same time.
I think it all comes down to the dynamic of the relationship and how dedicated both parties are to making the relationship work.
Sex isn’t a big deal to a lot of people, especially dudes. Some dudes don’t care of their dude messes around with another dude from time to time as long as they’re in the loop. Some gay dudes don’t even really engage in sex with their partners so much as share intimate moments.
Annnndddd some dudes take Vain and Jamari’s position, which is fine.
I don’t see a dude’s sexual do’s and don’ts on his forehead when I meet him and if I’m really trying to get to know him what he does in bed probably won’t be discussed until I’m actually
interested in him in that way. I don’t even really want to discuss sex unless we’re ready to do it really.
Jay:
The reason I continued on with my argument with vain because I am coming from a perspective that there are so many other people who are reading this post who won’t comment however they may be helped by our discussion. I do this also because I am a strong advocate for on going communication in all relationships, because I believe that sometimes individuals have to keep hammering at their issues until they reach a workable conclusion that will move their relationship foward. However, I also know when a dialogue becomes counter productive and so I have choose to end this discussion with Vain not because I think he is wrong and I have a lot of respect for him, but at the end of the day we are going to stick to our perspectives and I can respect that. I agree also with what you said in your post if two people are in love and then their love for each other will find a way to work through their differences.
Jay:
My fangs rarely comes out especially during an academic discussion, and I am rarely combative when it comes to discussing sexual values or any other values. I think that it may seem that I am getting a little agitated however, I guess I am expressing some frustration because I think that I have sent a significant amount of time explaining my perspective in detail and it appears to have no effect on the targeted reader. I agree with you that I don’t really understand as a man how some men won’t acknowledge they have a dick. I never use the word bitch when addressing a female on any level so I won’t use it if I am in bed with a man. I love dirty talk, but if I am in bed with a man let it me masculine dirty talk To me it is an extreme turn off when a man refers to his ass as “man pussy,” or describe themselves in any feminine manner. I remember one time I was on the phone with a fox and we were kind of talking dirty lol, and he told me that “I was making his ass wet”, and so I told him that it sounds like you should go to a doctor and get your ass checked out because it sounds like you may have something lol.
I also agree with you that I don’t get into any detail discussion about what a person does in bed until it is time to do that. I think this is a problem caused by the prepackaged sex that online gay dating websites have created. I remember in my hook up days I would like exactly what I was going sexually to do down to the nano second when I was setting my hook up over the phone. lol
I hope that last part was a joke? Starting from the beginning. For better or for worse is something that is established when two people come together, understand each other, and compromise in certain places to try and make it work. The situation will not even come up “again” if i date someone who I am sexually compatible with and discuss these things initially. When discussing sexual boundaries, they are things I will not compromise on. Someone who gets into a relationship with me, knowing full-well that I will not top him, and then asks that of me is in fact… CROSSING A BOUNDARY… that was established PRIOR TO making a commitment. Plain and simple. In the same way people won’t engage in 3 sums for their partner or be open to whips and chains when discussing sexual values PRIOR TO getting into a relationship. There are things i will and will not do, and topping is one of those on the “will not” list. If being topped is something that is of importance to someone interested in me… WE. ARE. NOT. COMPATIBLE… and therefore in getting together, this will become an issue down the line. I don’t know how else to explain it?
When you say “The issue is not that he simply wants to be penetrated, its that this has been established and communicated prior as something that WILL NOT happen and them bringing it up down the line and expecting to be met in the middle… IS the issue.”
Again I think that relationships often change as individuals tend to change. So what might not be an issue towards the beginning of the relationship may be come an issue later on as new behavior enter a relationship as they tend to do. Honestly I don’t think that some foxes did even share if they can actually get and maintain an erection if they are asked to top someone. I think a wolf also posed the question about how some foxes seem to not even want to acknowledge their dick’s existence by not wanting to touch it or have it touch during sex. So the whole topping issue could just boil down to the sexual capacity of certain foxes in general.
Sexual capacity of certain foxes? What? Foxes do not go about sexual stimulation in the same ways as a wolf or hybrid. That doesn’t need to be explained.
And Relationships change, yes. People change, yes. BUT NOT EVERYTHING ABOUT A PERSON OR A RELATIONSHIP DOES! If you get into a relationship with a person under certain premises, and then down the line they change… this will cause conflict because expecting of someone that was not established PRIOR TO making a commitment is an ISSUE. If you partner has never cooked for you, said he does not enjoy cooking for anyone, never even turned the stove on, and then down the line you start expecting him to make you dinner… how do you justify this request when it was established that he is not interested in cooking for you FROM THE BEGINNING? That does not make sense. Is this other person suppose somehow compromise themselves for you simply because you’ve requested that of them? That doesn’t leave any regard for whom the request is made to.
Vain:
Honestly, I give up attempting to discuss this issue with you, and no I wasn’t joking about the boundary statement. Whenever I get into a discussion like this; I am seeking to exchange ideals and to learn more from that individual not to convert the person to my way of thinking. However, I tend to walk away when I think that I am going around in circles and no progress is being made. I really think that you are personalizing my statements and attacking me on a personal level when I am talking about issues in general. I don’t think that you can speak for all foxes no more than I can speak for every wolf. I have spoken to a lot of foxes who tell me that they cannot get or maintain an erection when asked to top someone. You make some good points however I would ask you to back them up with some reference material and I try to do with my statements. I professionally have spent years in researching and consulting on relationships, and so I attempt to talk about relationships from that perspective as well as my personal perspective.
I have explained and reexplained my perspective of at the end of the day people like what they like and no further argument is needed after that. Again I was addressing comments made by some foxes how the ideal of topping their tops is physically repulsive to them.It seems like you talk about changing sexual roles as a boundary issue which doesn’t make sense to me, however it is what you have choose to define your sexual preference and I respect that.
Anthony what do you mean alot of foxes dont even acknowledge their penis, and not recieving anal head? WOW that one took the cake . If anything thats something i know alot foxes enjoy even some of the tops. I need to see some statistics before i can agree on that statement lol.
Question: Why do some wolves call their bottoms bitches during sex?
I have been absent from this site for a minute, but blkcastingman.. I am soooo feeling your questions, your responses, your intake, your viewpoints. You come from a place where you have lived a lot of life and experienced a lot of things. Not to say others have not. However, like you, I look at all sides and what I see in life and on various blogs are ……..People’s strong statements like…. Too yellow, Too skinny, Body not tight, Face alright followed by” i can’t find anyone who wants to commit, etc, etc. So many people have this laundry list of what they like and don’t like that are based on superficial things that can fade at any moment. Aye yi yi. I have a headache thinking about it.
But I also want to know, why a lot of foxes do not even acknowledge their genitalia, few like receiving head, some don’t even like their tails licked, let alone ate. It baffles me. I would say it has something to do with some psychological trauma or feelings.
And can someone tell me why some foxes, call their asses ,p#$@@&? I am all for dirty talk during sex, but that one right there….I can’t.
The answer to your first question is because not everyone enjoys that. That doesn’t mean there is something “wrong” with them. They have different preferences for what they enjoy during sex. Its not complicated.Someone would look at you and say doing all of those things you’ve listed to a fox would mean you have something wrong with you psychologically. Do you believe that?
The answer to the second question is because these foxes take heterosexual terms and phrases and use them as a template for their own sexual encounters. Often because those terms or the norm/ standard that has been set by the greater society.
BlkCastinMan you would leave because two or three people saying that? You not giving yourself a chance. You assumed every fox in that room thought like that when in reality it mighteve just been those few. You didnt talk with every fox in that room or talk with any fox for that matter you just heard a few comments and left, and the black wolf sure is just like the straight black man theyre always playing fuck fuck deuce!
Wow R:
What an emotional response, and I really truly hope that no one is personalizing what I am saying, because I am just sharing my perspective of the sake of continuing this argument, and I an not in the habit of calling people names because we don’t share the same perspective. I thought in my previous posts that I had established with the group that I tend to look at thing pragmatically, meaning that I tend to examine all aspects of a situation before I make a decision. However allow me to clarify, I don’t know how many of you are still dealing with women or have dealt with women terms of a romantic or a long term sexual relationship. Well I been in several situations when I have walked in on women conducting their war counsel meeting and I am speaking of black women in GENERAL!!! LOL. Usually during their war counsel especially if they are in a castration mood lol. They would usually unload all that they strongly dislike about black men. When I was younger I would attempt to engage them by rationally attempting to argue the perspective of all of the so called good brothers out there!!! LOL. However, in most cases they would say “whatever and then proceed to take me up one wall and down the next lol.
Truthfully, they usually had some valid points and they would mostly stick to their guns when they are in their castration pack. However, when I would have a conversation with these women one on one; they would have a different presentation and they usually would be more amiable and receptive to what I had to say. Then we would have a very productive discussion about the battle of the sexes lol. So yes if I walked into a room of Foxes and the overwhelming consensus of the group was negative in regards to then I would leave the room and if I decided that the situation warranted it then I would have a one on one discussion with the foxes. I learn early in life to choose my battles wisely.
Vain:
I I think that when it is all said and done, we who were are sexually at the end of the day seeking out sexual partners who were are compatible with. I also think that sexual compatibility plays a very minor role in long term or short term relationships, because relationships mechanically are more complex than it sexual parts. I cannot reemphasize that all I am doing his sharing my thoughts and perspective on particular post and that I am not judging anyone or attempting to say that my point is the only valid one.
However, I think that a person’s sex and sexuality in terms of how they practice their sexuality if they are emotionally and sexually progressive individuals it will change over time. I live in a city and I work in an industry that is often defined by it’s sexual freedom and practices. If me being limited sexually is the same as being limited intellectually or educationally. This is why my focus in almost all of my post is to create an honest and introspective dialogue that will hopefully add something of value to the culture of this blog. Additionally in the original thread I was attempting to cover the broader aspect of sexual ideologies, sexual value systems as they related to position preferences, and the generalized frustrations with sexual position preferences that some posters were sharing. Finally I was approaching my post from the perspective of seriously you really end a long term loving relationship which is somewhat rare in the African American community especially if you are gay because someone wants to flip? To me that seems a bit shallow, and emotionally immature when it comes to looking at the big picture where according to many bottoms/foxes that “a good top is hard to find?” Yes that is a little bit judgmental.
As a Wolf who doesn’t operate within the traditional confounds of the generalized black gay community such as going to clubs, gay bars, or gay events. So I am always open in meeting other brothers who are down with the option of starting a friendship or a long term relationship, however I sometimes find establishing such relationships with individual who are myopic in their sexual thinking, because it is too restrictive. So when I read a post about “If a baller cheats on you,” and “The wolf lifted his tail and liked it” which are really good post, however I find myself asking the question would I date some of the brothers based on their posts and my answer is probably not, because it seemed like they would bring too much emotional baggage into my life because of their general attitudes towards sex and relationships. I said in a previous thread that a fox tend to have more control in a relationship, however I failed to mention that I think that the wolf’s task is to manage the fox in the relationship. What I mean by managing is keeping the fox sexually and emotionally satisfied, by protecting them, and mostly because it is what many fox want.
I think that most emotionally and sexually mature wolves when entering into a room of Foxes tend to look for the fox who will be the less difficult to manage especially if they are a high profile wolf. At the end of the day a black wolf is like a str8 black man in regards to being high in demand and low in supply. If I enter a room and hear foxes saying “if my Wolf moaned like a girl. the only thing that would land on his back is my throw up,” or “I may be alone on this but i prefer my wolves to be…. TOPS! Fuck that flip floppin shyt. Not interested.” I would probably leave the room very quickly, not because I want to try a dick but the generalized attitudes of those foxes.
And that’s totally fine! You would not be the one for me or possibly Jamari anyway. I do not engage with hybrids because, as i will continue to say, that is a boundary. Calling it shallow, emotionally immature, and myopic? What? How does one use these adjectives and then turn around and say they aren’t being judgmental or condescending? lol We are all entitled to our opinions at the end of the day i guess. You call those of us who have a preference for strict tops: “restrictive.” I call hybrids who wish to be penetrates once in a while by a fox: “inconsistent.” Would I end a loving relationship with someone who down the road, knowing full well that in asking to flip flop is crossing a boundary that was established prior to getting involved with each other? If it something that he needs fulfilled and when it isn’t will potentially become and issue down the line, YES! The issue is not that he simply wants to be penetrated, its that this has been established and communicated prior as something that WILL NOT happen and them bringing it up down the line and expecting to be met in the middle… IS the issue.
I will continue to say i have ZERO interest is climbing on someone’s back in the same way i have no interest in eating a pickle or watching old western movies. It is not my thing and I do not see a reason for apologizing for it because it isn’t consistent with this idea that we must all be sort of broad in our sexual activities to somehow be “self actualized”and “emotionally and sexually mature.” Especially for the sake of keeping a man around who its clear we are not sexually compatible. This idea that sexual preferences is the barrier keeping us from finding the right man is baffling to me.
Vain I am growing to like debating with you however I think that you are coming close to the Ad Hominem fallacy in a logical argument; by attack my person instead of my argument by saying “How does one use these adjectives and then turn around and say they aren’t being judgmental or condescending?” I was using descriptive terms to underscore what I viewed as possible and cogitative reasoning of biased and potentially prejudicial thinking. I think that in a collective forum of gay/bi/trans/omni -sexuals lol that we should always be on guarded against biased and prejudicial thinking especially when it comes to a person’s sexual preferences and sexual orientations. So I am not or will I ever ask anyone in this forum to apologize for being who they are or for what they think.
So vain, I think that I am a big boy now and I know myself pretty well, and I am very capable of being judgmental and condescending, in my thinking however I assure you that this is not the case. I am not really sure how you can describe me as being judgmental and condescending when I have quoted you and other foxes throughout this dialogue making some very flammable and judgmental statements about wolves who flip and about hybrids in general. I don’t think that in the original post I recommended that any fox should date someone who they are not sexually or emotionally compatible with. Especially when I won’t do the same, and again I am talking about in the context of a long term loving relationship.
Honestly when I read “Would I end a loving relationship with someone who down the road, knowing full well that in asking to flip flop is crossing a boundary that was established prior to getting involved with each other? If it something that he needs fulfilled and when it isn’t will potentially become and issue down the line, YES.”
I get a little sad, because whatever happen for better or for worst, and what do you do leave the relationship to go back in the dating pool to run into the possibility of having to start over again and face the same situation all over again? When you talk about sexual boundary are you saying that hybrids are breaking into your home and trying to make you top them lol?
When you say “The issue is not that he simply wants to be penetrated, its that this has been established and communicated prior as something that WILL NOT happen and them bringing it up down the line and expecting to be met in the middle… IS the issue.”
Again I think that relationships often change as individuals tend to change. So what might not be an issue towards the beginning of the relationship may be come an issue later on as new behavior enter a relationship as they tend to do. Honestly I don’t think that some foxes did even share if they can actually get and maintain an erection if they are asked to top someone. I think a wolf also posed the question about how some foxes seem to not even want to acknowledge their dick’s existence by not wanting to touch it or have it touch during sex. So the whole topping issue could just boil down to the sexual capacity of certain foxes in general.
I think the hybrid thing is like the bisexual conudrum; in that many people want to see black & white, but there’s many shades of gray. A dude says he’s bi, but most people shout him down that he’s actually gay but in denial. A bi woman gets shunned by lesbians for the same reason.
Someone who’s a hybrid has to fit into our little box of top or bottom – no in-bewtween. Yes, there are bottoms who have no desire to top, just like there are tops w/no need to get stuck, but I believe there are a lot in between. Maybe only with the right guy, who knows. Maybe if we didn’t freak out if a top likes his azz played with (note, I said played with – not f*cked), or the bottom gets a little aggresive sometimes & wants to grind on you. F8ck it, do what you like & be cool.
Personally, if I was with someone I truly loved & cared about, I would try — for him, even though I know I’d not really enjoy it. Maybe I’d let him go pipe someone else on occasion…or bring home someone to share, but it wouldn’t be a deal-breaker. I can’t remember the last time I asked someone to plug me, or even wanted it — though I’ve let kats do everything else BUT stick it in lol. That’s just me – I can allow that, be cool with it, & still flip you over & bang you silly cuz I’m turned on. Of course, I know who to ask to do that though, I would never ask a confirmed bottom to even play psuedo-top lolol
I guess it just comes down to being honest about what you like sexually, and break the boxes down. And if this makes me less of a wolf in some people’s eyes, f8ck em – their loss *shrug*
Wooo I didn’t know I was gona need a pen and paper lol
007 you got jokes lol
I have more questions.
Do you think its possible for a hybrid to eventually fall one way or another over the fence for someone they’re in a relationship with and not cheat down the line?
In other words, would it matter if dude was a hybrid if he had no desire to be anything other than a top to you. Or does the mere fact that he has bottomed in the past disqualify him?
Or should he lie about that info? That’s exactly why most dudes do. lol
Jay most true hybirds that I spoken to tend to like it both ways most of the time. The ones who I spoke to who became total foxes to please their partners often said ” in a future relationship they want a versatile partner because they were never fully satisfied in their relationship.
JAY ANSWERS…
1A. sometimes i do/sometimes i dont. if i am being fucked stupid, i’m not thinking about my dick…
2A. our g spots are in our asses. when stimulated, it feels amazing. the dominance + his pipe in you + the moment = pleasure. like vain said, nothing beats a wolf laying on top of you…
1A. so what will me messing with a Hybrid do? a frustrated person who wants dick who will probably cheat on me after he realizes i’m not giving it. hybrids tends to be just one night stands for foxes.
2A. how is it self loathing when you want a wolf to strictly fuck you? i love myself, my body, and the wolf who will treasure it.
3A. nope. a wolf will do what he wants to do. no fox can change his way of thinking
4A. what about wolves who except the same from foxes?
5A. if a fox leaves because of that, then that is an issue that needs to be worked out. bad relationship communication is the death of most relationships.
6A. i’ll let the wolves handle that question…
Jar
I know a lot of Foxes that are about one night stands as well as many wolves. When I speak of self loathing I am speaking more to how many foxes tend to almost be violently opposed to a wolf wanting to take dick, or has taken dick. I mean the language was very strong so I wonder well how come you like taking dick so much yet you are disgusted by a wolf who wants to try the some? To me it is like a black man who always date out of his race while paying on his blackness to get white sexual partners, then speaking of how unattractive other black men are lol.
Again… I’m learning a lot.
But, I can’t help but think I named myself incorrectly
I am completely uninterested in bottoming
I just thought since I’m not uber “masculine” like a wolf
Or extra feminine like the perception is for foxes…
I’m a hybrid? Uh ohhh idk
I like fox tail 😉 That’s it
^have u ever bottomed before?
1. I’m guessing the question is implying that we are treating a person’s sexual position as something separate from who they are as a person. Like do we want the whole of a man or just the idea of his sexual position. My answer to the question is yes, i want a relationship with a good man who is someone who i am also SEXUALLY COMPATIBLE with. If i wanted a relationship with a good person I could just date one of my good girlfriends because we’re all looking for the same thing. But when it comes to sex, which in relationships is important, we wouldn’t be fulfilled and go seeking it else where.
2. Self-loathing? Okay. This is probably a reference to jamari’s comment which im sure was not meant to be taken literally. Would i date a hybrid? In very special cases, perhaps. But overall from my experience, hybrids tend to be looking for the same type of dominant men that I am. Except, once in a while, they’d like to stick it to them and take turns. From what I’ve seen, it tends to be the hybrid who are the first ones to yell out “NO BOTTOMS!” on dating sites which to me speaks volumes in terms of what they’re ACTUALLY looking for. “Will bottom for the right one” to me indicates that that is the very person you’re waiting to find and settle down with.
3. I don’t see how expecting a man to be consistent in the bedroom in the same way that i am causes them to be narcissistic and promiscuous? Those are personality traits that are developed before the expectation of them to perform a certain way in the bedroom even comes up. The pressure to be consistent in their sexual preference is somehow “unrealistic”? I don’t understand how that is? Especially when there are large amounts of hybrids in existence who are more than willing to accommodate someone who wants to flip flop. Please explain to me the reasoning behind this question?
5. “Trying something new sexually” is very broad and encompasses a whole lot. More specifically, telling me that you have a desire for me to stick it to you when that expectation was not there and I’ve never given you the impression that i was into that when we met, definitely raises a red flag. In your previous post, blkcastingman, you spoke about a person who discovered his bottom partner was out sticking it to other men behind his back in order to get his needs met. That speaks to exactly what i meant in my answer to question #1. To me, as someone who has no interest in topping anyone, remaining in a relationship with someone who has that urge would not result in a healthy partnership because i am not willing to compromise that part of myself for him. I have boundaries and that is one of them. Is this expectation, as someone who is consistent in my sexual patterns, to remain a complete top throughout our relation something “unrealistic”? I don’t think that it is.
wolves did a good job here!