The Situation

she was super pro-black/latina/fat/gay/trans/pronouns/everything.
she would use “-phobic” if someone didn’t agree with her.
you know folks love when someone is accused of having a “phobia”.
her stans flocked to her twicth streams because of her outspoken views.
i fell for it tbh.
woke folks tend to do that since they carry an air of “change the world”.
she was very unassuming and appeared to be friendly.
her friendships with other bigger streamers helped her too.
that was last year when things were all good.
i thought about her randomly because i haven’t seen her on twitch.
when i went to rummage around her socials,
she was gone.

TF happened?

well…

Continue reading “pro – bring a bitch down who is a demon behind the scenes” →

i am not liked.
that sentence was hard for me to accept tbh.
some people have made it pretty clear that they don’t accept me.
for years,
i tried to be a perfectionist when it came to people.
i was trained that way by a family who cared what people thought.
i’ve always tried to find love and acceptance within the crowd.
alas,
i wasn’t like everyone else even though i tried to be.
once i got hurt a few times,
i was battling between people-pleasing and not gaf.
i became assertive and not with the bullshit.
from jobs to people from my past,
i became unliked yet unforgettable.

I have the magical power of keeping some people pressed.

i realized something after a conversation yesterday…

Continue reading “the art of being (un) liked” →

when you reach a level of success,
whatever that looks like for you,
i feel you have to be very picky with who you let in your life.
i’m all for using the good lookin’ blow doll for a good time.

that is what they’re there for.

I have always had a problem with dating while lonely with low self-esteem.

once you had made something of yourself,
you shouldn’t be fuckin’ with low-hanging fruit because it’s easier.
think of it as a power dynamic…

Continue reading “stop dating while lonely with low self-esteem” →

who were you before you got hurt?
who were you before you got molested by your uncle?
who were you before you were stabbed in the back by your “best friend”?
who were you before you got cheated on by the “love of your life”?
who were you before you got HIV by that hyena who said he was clean?
we all were “someone” before another someone or something changed us.
i was “someone” too…

Continue reading “who hurt YOU?” →

He broke your heart.
He broke you.
Now he is in another situation on social media.
They look happy.
You looked happy once upon a time with him too.
So seeing them both,
it has annihilated your self-esteem and worth.

that was me yesterday.
it rocked my world because i was expecting the opposite.
i was expecting him to fuck up another person’s life.
nope.
this one seems different.
so my inner control panel wanted to revert to “old jamari“.
i wanted to lay around,
think about why i’m not worth it,
and compare myself to him(and everyone).
i was about to put on sad music to be an emotional wreck but…

Continue reading “YOU ARE STILL THE BADDEST EVEN IF HE DON’T WANT YOU NO MORE” →

in my den,
i have seen many jackals males i know mourning kevin samuels.
what i’ve noticed about many of them…

They all have similar traits and energy.

they think their dicks are covered in platinum,
their dating lives are in shambles,
they are all stuntin’ for social media,
and they think they are a prize to be had.
not only that:

I have witnessed a majority of them disrespect a black woman(s)

so when i see the type of males that are sad about kevin’s passing…

Continue reading “WHILE YOU MOURN KEVIN SAMUELS, LEARN FROM IT TOO” →