you’re interested this guy in your real life.
i mean,
you realllllllllllly like this guy.
he might not be “the fantasy guy”,
but he is sexy af to you.
he shows you hints and clues into his interest for you as well.
there is a connection there.
so it’s in the bag,
right?
nah it’s not.
why…
You are both too guarded to make the first move
he wants you.
you want him.
you both get off with the staring and the obvious signs but…
…and when you see each other again,
you inflate the balloon and do it all again.
we live in a world where many people tell us be ourselves,
but they often use that against us.
there are many of us who don’t want to be “out there out there” either.
there are a tribe of folks who spend their lives creeping within the shadows.
we meet these guys that make our temperatures go up,
but you’re both playing games because you’re scared.
“What if I’m wrong?
What if he isn’t gay/bi/curious and I expose myself?
What if he turns out to be a monster?”
it’s that fear mang.
the fear of being exposed when you’re not ready.
so when you meet someone you really like,
it’ll be this constant back and forth “until” or “never at all“.
i get it.
Aren’t we all tired of that tho?
i like you.
i like everything about you.
i always trying to be around you.
i always touch you when we talk (biceps are where i touch my interests).
what else do you want me to do?
lick your cheek?
they tell us all the time to take risks with our careers and livelihoods.
some of us have left our jobs,
with nothing in the bank,
with hopes of finding a better life or career path somewhere else.
many have failed; many have made it.
if we didn’t try,
we wouldn’t have gotten to those blessings.
Why is it so different with someone we’re really interested in?
why do we continue to live in torment by being energetically bound to them?
it’s not like we don’t know there is an attraction.
how could we be wrong?
i think there is a level of selfishness too.
“He has to make the first move.
I’m not making the first move.”
i’ve been hella guilty of doing that.
well guess what?
no one is making the first move.
until both parties work on their confidence,
its gonna be “this” until it goes nowhere.
imagine how much good times and great sex that’s being missed out on.
lowkey: it’s passionate af when you finally get with someone equally as attracted to you.
the earth shakes.
Not knowing if he’s gay in 2020 makes no sense. Gay men act like “ugh, you’re on that app?” Well how else are you supposed to know for certain? The bathhouse? Gloryholes? Anonymous sex parties? Y’all claim to not be in the gay lifestyle. Then why are you wasting your life chasing straight men whose friendliness you interpret as attraction?!
I need to have proof I was dealing with someone. I can’t with these imaginary relationships of cat and mouse where he’s not even aware. Oh, I’m going to be at least a chapter in the book of his life when it’s said and done. Anybody I’ve dealt with can never say “they didn’t know me like that”. I refuse to be like these “I’ve been fwb with him for 6 years, but I’m afraid to ask for more”. I want “it’s a long story”, when my name is brought up. I want him to acknowledge, that I, another gay man was dealing with him.
This whole thing describes my situation with this guy at my gym. He’s always giving me this subtle clue that he likes me. Always near me when I’m working out. I never go near him. Even if he is not working out near me, somehow he always try to make me notice him but intentionally going by me and then workout in the opposite side of the gym. One day, I finally said hey to him, ask his name, and went about my business; then Covid shut the gym down here in Cali. He still play these subtle games with me after a few hello.
^do we do these things because it’s hard to believe someone is interested in us?
like,
it’s hard to believe this is happening in real life?
and then it leaves me to wonder how does the other person hook up with the same sex?
or is every transaction online?
Some ppl have way more confidence than others to get with them. Being an introvert, it’s hard for me to meet anyone new right away or have the courage to say hello to someone first. I’d always rather someone introduce me to someone cuz I feel alot better that way.
^thats how i am.
i’m naturally a shy person plus i have my own insecurities about approaching guys.
i have a fear of rejection and it’s def not excuses.
i like to when guys meet me half way in their interest by making it obvious when i’m making it obvious i’m feeling them.