last night,
i went out with the pretty vixen and a wolf we both know.
i met them down the city at a happy hour spot.
at the end of the night,
the pretty vixen sent me a text saying:
“you attract a lot of dl everything”
i am starting to see it nowadays…
aside from getting looks from others,
the wolf we were chillin might be attracted to me.
he and i don’t talk as much,
but when we did,
he always did suspect things.
he would:
buy me random shit
give me money
always take pictures of me on the low
asked my opinion on songs with explicit sexual content
always want to chill/take me out
i think he is cute,
but he has a long term vixen.
one he isn’t sleeping with,
but they are in a relationship.
i never tried anything because after the saga that was ww,
i didn’t want to be wrong and embarrass myself again.
i felt stupid af with ww.
the pretty vixen picked up on the attraction between us last night tho.
the same shit with ww.
so i asked the pretty vixen why does she think i attract the wolves i do.
this is what she said via text today:
please excuse her use of the word,
“queen”.
she isn’t up on foxhole language.
by dl,
i mean someone whose is discreet as myself.
you can also be dl,
not sleep with vixens,
and stay under the radar.
i’m attracted to those types.
hell,
i’m attracted to a wolf who is bisexual as well.
is that wrong?
she continued on to say:
that’s it.
that’s what i don’t know how to do.
unless i meet you on a site,
the ones i meet in real life i stay in “platonic” mode.
they have always been my type and did suspect things,
but i try to stay neutral.
i do make everyone i come in contact with,
not just the dl,
comfortable with me tho.
random strangers will start telling me their business.
as always,
i keep their secrets to myself.
i’m always the “go to” when it comes to making someone safe.
Maybe I should be satisfied with that?
she ended with:
all the curious wolves,
most who were always my type,
ended up latching onto me.
they treated me like a crush who also had the crush on them.
you know when you like someone,
you are more prone to go above the line for them.
well we always have a connection that is usually strong.
ww still sniffs around too.
he isn’t consistent as he once was,
but he makes a one-two episode appearance in my life story line.
he still does suspect things,
but makes sure to mention his “girl”.
wth these types,
i feel sex can kill the connection.
they may just only feel comfortable doing what they do.
it’s like sleeping with your female bff.
it won’t be the same after.
Maybe it’s different with males?
i’ll meet someone who is my type soon.
i can feel it.
I’m the type of person who is lay back down to earth.
for some reason or another people love telling things that they never told anybody else.
I’m a man of my word. when I tell you I’m not going to say anything. I mean just what I said.
even if we fall out, you will not hear me bring up at all.
I don’t know Jamari…
I feel like if your friend was able to pick up a vibe and his attraction to you he might be more delusional in a glass closet than DL.
Chances are if she noticed other women do too.
I’m old school so down low to me means women will never suspect anything. Of course women’s gaydar is way more sophisticated than it was 10 years ago.
Well, I probably passed up some “play” in the past because as soon as a guy talks about women to me, I immediately lose interest, and it’s not because I think it’s bad for men to like women, but the way I see it, if a guy wanted me to know he was interested in ME, he really shouldn’t mention anyone else. I refuse to play games. He talks about women, I label him as “straight-don’t touch” and keep it moving. If he talks about women and miraculously still wants me, then HE has to do all the leg work. I’m not figuring out that mess. Nope!
^^ Dignified Exactly!
I’m not putting myself out there like that only to end up with egg on my face. That’s why I said in my comment I would rather let him lead in these situations.
Yup! Especially if comes to me with that “girlfriend” talk. I’m always thinking: “welp, I’ma leave you alone then”, I mean, he can still talk to me about his girlfriend/wife w.e, but he’d better not expect me to be interested any longer! He would have to do all the work after that. As you said, I’m not sticking my neck out for someone who won’t stick theirs out.
Sorry, but I am wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy more attractive to dl dudes. lol
I’ve been noticing the same in my life lately. I usually doubt the hints because I don’t trust my “gaydar,” but it hasn’t failed me lately. From a pastor, to a married friend, to my bro, I picked up on flirting and ran with it.. Not gonna lie, I felt flattered, but then I can’t see myself being with someone I can’t completely BE with.
I have this co worker that I’m attracted to & he has been throwing subtle hints that he feels the same way. I want to ask him but don’t know how. Any advice?
Hey Jamari,
I feel like if you want to see if something pops off with any guy. You have step out of your comfort zone and lead by example. For example, I would in this situation, ask the Wolf you hung out with, with Pretty Vixen that you wanted to try something and you needed his help. Basically tell him you want his help trying to talk to a girl, how to mac a chick. Ask for tips. This is allow for him to disclose and share his experience. Moreover learn more about him.
OR
You propose a 3sum with you and another chick you know. Not pretty vixen but one you find attractive enough. That is slightly more deceptive and sneaky than the first suggestion but Dudes are simply enough to understand most of the time its not really that complicated once you think outside the box as to how to get results you just have to create a safe space. I know you well enough to know that all this is a lot to do and plan.
I honestly say, whats the harm in making things a little interesting when you already know the chemistry is there. Life doesn’t have a rule book, and if it does these pineapples aint using it. IJS!
Yea, I have attracted DL men, we all have. However, we know that they are toxic and are only good for a very short time.
I think that DL dudes do have a shelf life, but its one that you have to maintain and control. The mistake is always made in allowing them to lead. Nah you lead, you set the way. I date a lot of DL dudes and I never find encounter as many issues as most do. Maybe because I am also emotionally unavailable and distant.
Random question, how is your feelings towards WW now ? Are you over him yet ?
^”it’s complicated” like facebook.
and no,
not entirely.
🙂 Thanks for your honesty… I like that..
What she said makes sense but Jamari you shouldn’t mess with a DL dude anyway. They will never be fully yours. Now if you mess with a dude who is private, well that’s a different story. But You just need a regular dude who is confident within himself and knows what and who he wants. Plus in 2017, DL dudes are seen as unattainable and not emotionally available. I could be wrong but it seems like the DL dude just wants the attention from whomever. But then again I could be wrong. lol
^i want someone private.
i attract them,
as we all do,
but i don’t want anyone who is sleeping with a vixen and me at the same time.
i can deal with closeted and open to dating tho.
i don’t need the headache.
I attract these types too for the most part and can become a headache at times. It’s hard for me to truly see someone as a friend if they were/are in the zone crush. With a lot these guys these is sexual tension and flirtatious back and forth but from my experience it’s always best to let them make the first move that way when shit pops off (which for the most part it does) they can’t act like it wasn’t their idea.
^they definitely act like it was all their idea.
i feel you on the headaches tho.
when you show you moving on,
they suddenly want to step up.
the jealousy is funny to me.