A Rush of Pain To The Heart

tumblr_static_am7svk4zbrk8osoww4kskww8ci didn’t think that would happen.
so something told me today:

“call star fox’s mother”

something felt “off”.
so when i called this morning

a male voice came out from the other line.
once we stopped giving each other the third degree,
i learned it was someone from her church.
i told them i was star fox’s friend and i usually check in with her.

“oh she is having a little surgery,
but she will be out later on.
give her a call later.”

i told him that she should rest and i would call this weekend.
so i go about my day and that’s that.

when i got in just now,
my phone rang and it was her.
when i answered,
she sounded so drowsy and thanked me for calling.
she said her god daughter,
animals from her church,
and only me checked in on her.
she went on to tell me that her three other cubs didn’t even call.
after that it was a wrap.
she started to bawl.
now i’ve known star fox’s mother to be strong,
but i never seen her like this.

“my own cubs…
i just don’t understand…
am i a bad mother?
whenever they need money or anything,
they don’t go without.
i miss my baby.
he would never have left my side…”

i felt so sorry for her.
i tried to calm her down the best i could.

“my daughter said she would call me to pray with me in the morning.
i had to call her and she didn’t even answer the phone…”

i tried to give her a good word and told her not to stress herself.
how do you tell someone their cubs ain’t shit?
or karma never forgets an address?
all i know is she needed to rest.
i told her if she needed to talk,
i’m here.

“thank you jamari.”

it’s sad that even your own family can abandon you.
not really.

16 thoughts on “A Rush of Pain To The Heart

  1. Even though I dont know this woman, this breaks my heart but its the sad reality. I see it all the time with friends of mine who have grown children in the 18-25 year old range. This generation is selfish and are only concerned about their needs. I would give anything to just have one more day to do whatever my mother asked me to do. Those who have lost family members will understand what I am saying. I was a good son to my parents and I still have a hole in my heart now that they are gone, so I can not imagine how these new generation kids are going to be when they have to face the harsh reality of being in the world without parents. It is the most emptiest and scariest feeling one could ever imagine, I would not wish it on my worst enemy. I guess when you are always there for your children helping them out of every crisis instead of letting them fall flat on their face, you will continue to get selfish self absorbed brats who will leave you to die on the side of the road if it meant they had to miss a concert of their favorite artist or a party.

  2. I feel bad when I don’t see my momma for more than a week. Let her be in the hospital. It will be a,room for 2

    1. ^the same.
      star fox mother and i have had many discussions about her family.
      this is not surprising.
      it’s bad when they need money,
      she will spend her last on them.

  3. Man that’s so heartbreaking. My prayer for her recovery and her health. But you keep checking in on her. She knows at least one person is looking out for her. You are a light in her life and from what I’ve read she is in yours as well.

    1. ^she has been really good to me.
      it’s sad how much of a reality check her situation is.
      many can relate about family members.

  4. I saw the downfall of my family, on BOTH sides, after my grandparents passed. Things were never the same, and everything/mostly everyone started going downhill.

  5. When she dies their trifling asses will be falling out at the funeral and trying to climb into the casket and/or fighting over her possessions.I am an only child but I have seen it happen when two of my aunts died with my trifling cousins.

    1. Unfortunately this is true Ms Collette and black folks especially are known for acting a damn fool lol!

  6. Oh jamari this hurts my heart to read this that’s terrible and I send much positive energy her way and you just let the energy of star fox work through you I got the feeling that you are the closest thing to her dearly departed son that she needs right now so do your best and good karma will come your way.😇

    1. ^i’m legit distraught about that phone call.
      i’m writing about the interview now,
      but i feel literally sick to my stomach.

      1. I’m sure you do jamari but you be strong and courageous enough to navigate through it star fox is working through you.

  7. Wow that’s really sad to hear, I’m glad she was able to be real with you with what she’s going through. I pray she has a speedy recovery.

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