could you tell when the shift came?
for some,
you haven’t received it yet,
but it’s coming.
you’ll know because it comes after the bullshit.
it could be after taking a hard “L”,
an terrible break up,
or the death of someone you love.
i think i’m approach another shift in my life…

last night,
i woke up outta nowhere at 1am.
i went to bed at like 11:30pm.
i was having a nightmare,
but i can’t remember what it was about.
i opened my eyes,
but i was still asleep.
my room was really quiet and i just started to talk.
words started coming out of my mouth.

i remember asking for forgiveness,
while forgiving everyone who has hurt me.
a number of people were still haunting me,
even though we haven’t spoken in years.
after i was done talking,
i imagined closing a door and locking it right after.
i fell asleep shortly after.

the next morning,
i woke up feeling different within myself.
a good different.
as i was going to work,
i got a call from one of my aunts.
she was crying.
she wanted to update me on mi.
as i braced myself,
she told me:

Mi got baptized over the weekend

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i know.
shocked TF outta me.
her aunt sent me pictures and videos from the baptism.
apparently,
mi realized that everyone was done with her after her last stunt.
she has gained a ton of weight due to the meds,
but she looked happy.
her smile looked genuine.
i remembered that smile.
it was when she was truly happy “before“.
i’m still keeping my distance,
but i’m happy for her.

my co-worker was at my desk in the morning.
he randomly was talking to me about flowers.
i mentioned that i’d love to put flowers on my desk.
as i was leaving,
he told me wait a few minutes because he had something for me.
foxhole…

Why he bought flowers for me?

here they are:

i’ve never had someone buy me flowers before.
needless to say,
i’m extremely grateful for the unexpected gift.
i told him:

“Aww thank you!
I’ll put them on my desk!”

he looked at me and said:

“No,
those are for you!
Here is to a good week.”

so a shift is on the way!
i hope a good one is on the way for you as well.

lowkey: is the retrograde is over?