i was talking to a wolf and he said this:
“i’m trying to pop off in my career and no one is taking me seriously.
people ignore me and i feel like maybe i should give up…”
i felt him.
its hard to want to be something and feel ignored.
i understood what he was talking about.
sometimes i feel that way with this site,
but i figured i’d be real with him
(and everyone else who is in the same boat)…
alicia keys said she performed in a half empty ymca on a broken casio keyboard.
k michelle said she has performed for 5 people.
lauryn hill was booed off stage at the apollo.
kanye was told he was too wack to rap and should stick to making beats.
i’m sure beyonce has her “humble beginning” stories with destiny’s child.
when you are chasing a dream,
not everyone will be supportive of it.
anything you do,
that will end up with some sort of elevation in life,
will always be met with people going “eh” to you.
they will look down on you,
brush you to the side,
or pretend you don’t exist.
as soon as the money and popularity comes tho,
they will be blowing up all your shit.
people who paid you no mind before will suddenly want to fuck you.
so in the beginning stages of any dream,
you will have limited to no cheerleaders/supporters.
its the nature of the beast when you decide to be great.
its a cold lonely place when you start climbing that mountain.
the foxhole has like 6 or so faithful supporters who comment everyday.
i know that when i put something up,
even if it’s an small entry about some fine wolf,
one of those people will leave me a comment.
some days the foxhole gets into a great discussion.
other days it looks real skimp.
to someone passing by my site,
they will think i’m a nobody with a few comments.
thats fine.
i am thankful for my “ryde or dies” who support me even if its 2.
i have a ton of lurkers who sit in the shadows.
the same ones who helped provide 8 million views.
i don’t get 200 comments each entry,
and even though that would be bananas,
i am very content with what i get now.
all of the comments i get are from very intelligent people.
they leave insightful messages and it helps everyone who reads.
the beauty is these same people are now a staple in my journey.
when i make it,
if i make it,
they will be able to say they started out with me.
everyone who has a dream needs those kinds of people in their lives.
to be honest,
and like i’ve said before,
all it takes is that one right person to cosign your life.
that person is what i like to call “a big deal”.
you need them to see your potential and take you under their wing.
they will have you meeting power players and life changers:
“we already saw your work via __________ and we were impressed.
we wanted to meet you so we could discuss where you want to go with your career…”
you can have 50k followers on every social media app,
get a few retweets by some celebs,
and be at every event in your city.
guess what?
you will still be where you started.
i know too many that are at the opening of a pin drop faithfully,
people in new yawk know them and be all up their butt cheeks,
they get a ton of likes and comments on social media,
buuuuuuuutttttttttttt no one bought their eps/mixtapes/products tho…
…yet they walking round here actin’ higher and mighty being rude?
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk outta here son.
i want people who see:
how hard i work
how humble i am
and recognize my talent
im usually exhausted after a day at the plantation,
but this site will always get updated when i get in my crib.
no matter the time.
i look forward to coming home to get on the foxhole.
this is where i truly want to be.
so keep on perfecting your craft.
the cheerleaders/supporters will come.
when they do,
always be graceful to them.
out of everyone out here trying to “pop”,
they chose to stand and support you.
one or two people is more steps towards to your dream.
some won’t like/feel/or understand you in the beginning stages,
but there will many others who really do.
“your breakthrough could be next week.”
always try to remember that.
Happy new year jamari! I can totally relate to this entry! I wish you all the best in 2015!
Great entry Jamari. Your blog is very helpful and you come across very well and seem to have a good heart and natural gifts! .much success and happiness to you in 2015. Jamari is a great name
I’m confused what’s your career goal? To have this blog blow up?
At any rate these days quantity doesn’t mean much, everyone has an opinion and we all know how much those are worth. You need quality, paying quality. Work towards addressing that market and I’m sure you’ll be closer to your goals.
That’s right some of you bitches need to apologize right now. But hold on to your panties tho. Sometime it hard to know what to comment like I don’t know what to say when I read on entry that is deep because I have yet to experience the full potential of life.
Good post! Everyone has to start from somewhere it just makes You appreciate when you get to the top Because you earned it.
I see great things for this site and you in the new year. I know it seems hard and like you’ll never get to the light at the end of the tunnel but you will.
This was a very deep entry. Whether it is today or a few years from now, you will one day reach the point where you are comfortable from all aspects. You will be able to build a successful brand for yourself and everyone will see just how much potential and greatness that you have. Just continue to do what you are currently doing when it comes to your job, personal life, and this blog you have provided.
Great entry Jamari. Very thoughtful as usual. I hope though that you do not define success as becoming famous like the great celebrity examples you gave. Getting famous and making a ton of money is not all it’s cracked out to be and really not what life is all about (look what happened to Whitney and Allen Iverson and a slew of other sports figures who are no broke as hell http://bit.ly/1AhF2zk). I’m a little older…hell a lot older…so I define making it in a different way. To me it is finding something you love to do and doing it well, with integrity, and with the aim of benefiting others. For some people that may be being a garbage man, or a bank teller, or the CEO of a Fortune 500. You should also develop a better relationship with a higher power and learn to love yourself and not measure yourself against others. You are really in a race in this life only with yourself. Jamari, you are going to have a great 2015. You are taking steps to get into a better job. Try to get educated and continue to take free online courses and stuff if you can to further hone your skills (I still do). Take care and stay positive!
True
J, you are just paying your dues, I think the man upstairs wants you to really appreciate your blessings when you make it big, and yes my friend you are going to make it big because you have not taken the easy route to achieve your success. You have not taken cheap shots, you resisted porn ads, and you show the world your vulnerability. You have worked hard to give us quality and not just quantity. You have had missteps, made mistakes, but you keep coming back never giving up, and learning from past errors. You are being prepared for when you do blow up,that you will have the confidence to take it to the next level because you have been tried and tested.
Remember J, Oprah Winfrey was just a small town girl, who got fired from her first TV job because they said she was not qualified to be on TV, but their was a TV mogul on the inside. Aretha Franklin was just a young girl singing hymns in her father church, but their was a Queen on the inside. Barack Obama was just a community organizer on the South Side of Chicago, but there was a President on the inside. Tyler Perry was homeless and lived in his car, but their was a Movie Mogul on the inside. Jamari Fox was just a little blogger in a world of bloggers working at a miserable job but their was a Author/Stylist/Public Relations Guru on the inside. Its Already In You!
Someone is watching, someone is paying attention. You have saved someone life with fox mail. You have made a safe space where someone who is struggling with their sexuality can come and be free from hate and judgement. You have blown up a attentionista, even if they want give you credit. You have given so much of yourself, so your time is coming and you are going to be ready to step into the light and be great.
2015-Jamari Fox got next!
Don’t say when you make it. Start saying when you make it. You know you’re destined for greatness and everyone else around you knows it as well.
I totally feel this entry. I don’t let anyone tell me what I can and cannot accomplish. If I say I’m gonna be Spider-man, I’m gonna be Spider-man and no one can tell me otherwise. I feel bad for people that are like “that’s unrealistic.” I don’t care. I dream big. I hate hearing negativity from others when someone says they wanna do something positive.
I wanna apologize to you for a past comment of mine. I remember a lurker said something along the lines of “the person who runs this blog will never be successful because… “(can’t remember it fully.) I replied to it and said “I’m sure Jamari would rather wait for his blog to blow up so he can turn it into a full fledged website.” I’m apologizing because I didn’t know that blogs can be just as successful as non-blogs. Perez Hilton, Necole Bitchie, etc… I didn’t realize that until months afterward. I don’t visit much blogs and most of the ones I come across haven’t been updated since 2010. I know that lurker was just trying to get under your skin but I made myself look stupid. I was hoping you didn’t take it to heart as if I was saying you can’t have a successful blog because I didn’t know what the hell I was even talking about. I wasn’t trying to diss you, I was just trying to counter that lurkers negative comment. I’m learning to just shut up because most of the time it sounds like I’m throwing shade when I’m not.
About the comments thing. You shouldn’t fret. Many websites don’t get a lot of comments. Bossip and Mediatakeout only get as much comments as they do because their articles are nothing but troll bait. That and they get staff to posts trolling comments to get an argument started to help get their traffic flowing. They think they’re slick but they’re not. How much comments any website gets all depends on the article. Not to mention those top ten lists that make you sit through multiple loading pages just to see which white men love black women or which black men only marry white women. Mm hm, they be trolling like a motherfucker.
Jamari, I’ve found that there are people watching you and you may not even know it. They may have heard about you from someone, or you may have helped them in some way. Some may be in a position to help, while others may not. Your hard work will not go unnoticed…even if it’s not your coworkers who notice.
I had to put some of my coworkers in check right before the holiday break. They were talking about oh our employees are this and that. So I had to give them another reality check. I know they can’t stand me. LOL
I said to them, if we are all these things, how is it that no one says something as simple as thank you to us. Once again I got stupid looks. So I said to them, I can count on one hand (holding up two fingers) the number of you who have actually said thank you to me personally for anything I may have done. I get told thank you more often from people outside of the office than from my own co-workers…and that is sad. One of them says, that’s how it should be. No, it should not. It’s common courtesy, but I’m sorry if you feel it’s beneath you. That’s something you may need to work through.
What amazed me most is one day one of the top execs on campus asked me what was I doing there. His comment caught me off guard, and I guess my look must have startled him because he said let me clarify…why is a nice guy like you working with a bunch of ass-wipes? You are much better than that place. If you ever leave and need a reference…let me know.
Jamari…it.blew.my.mind.
Keep doing what you’re doing. Someone will let you know you got the right stuff. The world isn’t TOTALLY full of assholes. There are nice people out there.