disconnected.
it has been a thought that has been going through my mind recently.
it actually started when we talked about teyana taylor.
on this week’s podcast,
and that last entry,
we came to the conclusion there is a disconnect with teyana and her music.
the thought about being disconnected from self came in the form of a question…
Has being disconnected from self stopped us from being connected to others?
i’ve been thinking a lot about how i’ve been disconnected in many ways.
i feel a connection to my close friends,
but i’m very guarded and distant from associates i know.
some of them have disconnected from me and left me asking questions.
i’m sure they all got a culture shock when i showed them the foxhole.
i don’t feel comfortable networking with them all the way and i don’t know why.
weirdly enough,
i feel very connected to the foxhole like we grew up together.
when it comes to wolves,
i’ve never felt fully connected to them.
for instance,
i’m so afraid of rejection,
i keep my walls and guard up.
i try to be open,
but i notice i’m not fully comfortable around other males.
Males were my biggest bullies yet I was very attracted to them.
I’m sure many were attracted to me,
but they used picking on me to show their attraction.
Somewhere,
I unplugged and dangled plugging back into males I have been attracted,
but sadly,
they were unplugged as well.
when you look at artists,
actors(actresses),
or even people around you,
you can tell who is fully connected to self.
it’s a vibe.
folks can fake it all they want,
but it will slip out eventually.
i wanted the foxhole to hear the discussion we had on the podcast.
the pretty vixen joined as a guest and had so gems to drop.
i’ll leave the spotify link here:
and the bonus that got real deep with karaoke,
the pretty vixen,
and myself:
so i had to ask the foxhole…
How does one truly get connected to self?
Everything you said is exactly me
From not trusting males to a young age for being scared they’d call me gay but being attracted
To not opening up for fear of rejection I’m young still but getting more jaded because my friends who live on hookup apps are sticking and moving but i notice none of us has a real relationship
I’m not into the hookups done it before wasn’t turned on in the least bit everyone says I’m so attractive so stylish but i watch these same individuals be easily distracted by ppl who have characteristics they claim not to be attracted to
It’s like people say “I’m a husband not a hookup”
^you hit the nail on the head.
it’s very draining tbh.