i spent my young adulthood looking for a wolf.
“looking” might be a passive word.
i was “desperately searching” for someone to complete me.
it was like i was lego blocks and i needed that one block to make me whole.
i would go outside and come home feeling depressed because i didn’t get any numbers.
when a wolf was even remotely attracted to me,
or so i thought,
i’d cling onto him because i thought he was my shot at feeling complete.
i might even have been a dreaded “pick-me” tbh.
i realized something that took me a while to get to.
it got documented on my IG stories…
I don’t feel lonely anymore.
i think that is the issue right there.
people made relationships into a “need” in order to feel complete.
that feeling of “loneliness” that makes you feel you NEED to be with someone else.
you have to bypass the .exe programming and be okay with “you”.
i can literally watch people in relationships and be okay.
1 – I don’t know WHAT is happening BTS
2- Folks who tend to lay it on thick on social media be in the most toxic relationships.
we gotta stop looking at the “good” and start seeing the fucked up shit that is usually in front of our eyes.
baecations and outings don’t mean shit is sweet with these folks and their “relationships”.
once i started to wake up,
it didn’t feel the same like a few years ago.
the same males i was attracted to can’t even keep a relationship OR they treat their partners like trash.
i wasn’t a special snowflake because they ended up treating me the same too.
for the first time in my life,
i feel so gooooooooooood about being alone.
i live by my own rules and can do wtf i want.
people seldom realize how hard a relationship can be.
when it becomes toxic and you both get comfortable in it…
I’d like someone I’m sexually attracted to for a regular FWB situation,
but I’m good at trying to be locked down right now.
i’m not even looking for dick real heavy either.
a good fwb happens when the vibes are good.
i have goals and other things i’m trying to accomplish.
no one out here really moves the meter for me anyway.
i don’t want to say i’m the prize,
i am the prize.
even some of the foxholers agree:
being alone and knowing you’re the prize is the most powerful of them all.
lowkey: i’m not saying i want to be alone for the rest of my life,
but i’m good on anything serious right now.
i’ll date and do a cute outing with a wolf,
but keep that “relationship” shit away from me.