i often wonder:
“when do i cross the line with work wolf?”
i mean i done said almost everything “line crossed” to him.
i done complimented his looks,
body,
and even talked graphically about sex.
no disclaimers.
well when i admitted what i said about liar liar….
other than that,
he is always open to it.
well the minute i say something about someone else…
so i knew work wolf was going out last night.
he told me he was going to his brother’s birthday shindig.
i also knew he was bringing the vixen he was “talking to”.
“are you planning on fuckin’ her tonight?”
“hell yeah.”
well he was in one of his moods again today.
he was tired and exhausted.
apparently he got no sleep because he was fuckin’ that vixen all night.
“we went a few rounds.”
wow.
i wasn’t jealous,
but moreso turned THE FAWK on.
it made me so horny thinking about it.
he couldn’t call out because he had deadlines.
he wasn’t happy today.
his fault tho.
okay so he was pretty “eh” in convo,
but he texted me some pictures.
his older brother tho…
fine.
i mean…
“drool”-worthy.
so i said:
“wow your brother is hot.
i see he got all the looks in the family.
lol jk”
my usual joking self with him.
no sooner he replied:
“well he aint gay. i’m sorry”
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um.
wait.
excuse me my pineapple?????
so i responded:
“i didn’t ask if he was gay.
i said he was attractive.
big difference.”
he started to type something,
but didn’t send it.
i felt a certain kind of way about his response.
then i thought:
Did i cross a line?
that is his brother.
maybe he felt a certain kind of way about the comment?
i don’t know…
i thought about it and talked with a foxholer i communicate with.
they thought it was in my best interest to apologize.
so a couple hours later of no speaking,
i wrote him back and said:
“listen i may have crossed the line with you about your brother.
i was trying to keep the convo cool,
but i think i may have offended you.
my b.”
…and then he said:
“naw its not you.
i’m not even sweating that.
you good.”
“i felt a certain kind of way tho.
i can’t say things to you without thinking you may get uncomfortable.
when i compliment your looks or your body…”
“you can say anything to me.
i’m not going to feel uncomfortable”
…and we continued on as normal.
so why all the static about your brother?
hmm.
I just want to say…. “I FUCKING LOVE YOU” … Don’t sweat it… You got him where you want him…. Remember although ppl are texting they tend to get busy…. Don’t let your thirst for a response ever be noticed… Poker face until you both are on the same page.
As someone that has “been there and done that”, from my experience, this guy sounds like he is into Jamari. My guy did similar things before he finally revealed himself to me. He told me the truth once I moved on and met another fella. From everything Jamari has told us, there is no doubt this guy is curious. He keeps Jamari around because it’s helping him come to terms with who he is.
My guy was having sex, and still having sex, with a lot of women. He just found me attractive and comfortable in my own skin. My guy said he would never fuck a man, but ended up dominating me in bed. He said many things that later contradicted themselves once we were alone. If he is saying he treats Jamari like a girlfriend, then he has emotionally drawn himself onto him. Many will not understand because they are use to one night stands and chasing more obvious men. I didn’t end up with my guy but he trusted me to experience a side of his sexuality he suppressed. We are still great friends even today! Jamari stick with him because you could be saving his life and he trusts you completely. Good luck!
People can get funny when you make comments about family. Like others said, we tend to be very protective of our loved ones.
i never contributed to this blog before even if i read the comments everytime.i’ve been following this work wolf saga from Paris (France) where i live and my only advice to Jamri would be : keep your friendship with work wolf but stop making your life revolving around him that means find yourself a real hot gay man and give him this attention. You ‘ll see work WOLF WILL come to you effortlessly.
i really like your blog. I’ve never contributed any comments til today. I feel compelled. This work wolf knows your sexuality, he knows that means you will have attractions to men whether it’s him or other men. That’s what “gay” means and he chooses to be your friend. Please stop being guarded in what you say, think, or feel. If he doesn’t like you expressing who you are or feels uncomfortable then why is there a friendship. The whole point of a true friendship is being comfortable being yourself around them. He gets to be himself and you get to be yourself. i would let him know that you’ve wondered if he ever gets a curious inclination about your sexuality and if he ever is curious that he has an open invation with no jugements and full discrection. Real friends should be able to say that, especially because he knows who you are already, all cards on the table. Then let it go and never speak of it again unless he brings it up. But in the mean time if you have to listen to him boast about his sexual conquest and his attractions, he also gets to listen to your desires and attractions as well. He Knows you, he accepts you, he likes you, he cares about you, so be you.
I couldn’t have said it better myself you hit the nail on the head no one should have to curtail who they are to suite the needs or fantasies of other people thats like the height of arrogance and gay people shouldn’t tolerate it from anybody.
1000% AGREED!!!!
Wow, I like your perspective. Very well said!
I get where a lot of you guys are coming from, but I do think Work Wolf wants Jamari. I think he had no problem with telling Jamari about the vixen he is humping because he got jealous yesterday when Jamari said he is talking to someone. I never knew he said being with another man is disgusting that could just be a cover up but that was also very hurtful and rude to you Jamari. If he makes you happy go for it, but just be careful if something happens it happens.
I think it’s multiple things that factored into this. I think he only wants the attention you give him to be on him. Remember when it comes to siblings there are some insecurities here and there. Maybe he envies his brother in some way and your text didn’t help even though you were joking: “I see he got all the looks in the family”. Sometimes even when we’re joking it may hit a nerve we didn’t mean to.
Also remember there are some people that don’t like the idea of family members being gay. They’ll have gay friends but gay family members is crossing a line. I know it’s weird to me also. I had a str8 friend that was like that and knew I messed with dudes but didn’t like the idea of his brothers or son being gay. I had a “this pineapple right here” moment.
I would have texted the same thing you did about the difference in being attractive and someone sexuality. But don’t be surprised that was work wolf’s response. It’s this stupid double standard between str8 men and str8 women. Like a str8 women can say all day that any women is attractive and beautiful and no one will bat an eyelash but let a man say “he looks good” to or about another man and you’ll get these sideways glances and have people questioning you. *sigh* I can’t.
Work wolf seems like one of THOSE guys.. I’m starting to think everyone has had one. That really close friend that says he’s straight, but sends you mixed signals. He’s himself when he’s with you. You guys share a unique bond but he may act differently when others are near. He’ll do things like asking you if he should date some vixen as though he needs your permission and it gives you hope. Will get jealous or grumpy whenever he feels you’re neglecting him.
Let me stop before I get started! Jamari, just promise me you won’t fall too hard or get your hopes too high.
It can turn into something, or it just may not. I think with these guys they get really comfortable with you. They don’t have to act a certain way with you unlike when they’re with other guys or girls. Gets so comfortable he’ll give you hugs or constantly have his arm around you.
Guys don’t forget J and Work Wolf communicate almost exclusively by text messages.So there is no way to know the tone of a statement.It could be just matter of fact or defensive.There is no way to know.
@Y Colette- your right and that’s true we don’t if it was said in jest or in a joking around about way I understand but I still want jamari and gay men in general to evaluate their friendships with straight people because I’ve noticed that straight people have this habit of befriending gay people for ulterior motives and or using gay people as a measuring stick because their own lives are so fucked and miserable and I don’t want jamari to find himself in that position that’s all.
That’s so true Kelly!
You know what jamari this whole situation is so weird, first off jamari you shouldn’t mince your words for anybody he knows your gay and he knows how you are so I don’t understand why he may have felt some kinda way based on your perspective now if that’s really the case you need to evaluate your position in this friendship and what is his real intentions does he view you as a human being or his gimp? If so its truly sad that so straight men would stoop that low just so they feel like their being praised and worshipped jamari I really hope that you haven’t placed yourself in this position without even realizing it.
I think his response was a bit on the defensive side and he may be putting up this act of being all cool and the like..it’s just me but I think it would be better to edit some things said around or to him , just for a while even like asking him about who he’s going to have sex with it’s nit helping you and I have the feeling he’s going to get fed up of you asking..
What exactly was his tone when he said his brother wasn’t gay?
Omg!!!! I have one of these too! He is the most confusing “straight dude” in the world. ✊🏾 I feel you on everything you say about work wolf.
Work wolf just feels some type of way. Like Mikey said he probably didn’t feel like first place. He probably just like for it to be all about him when its u and him. Also remember that “boyfriend” comment maybe fresh on his mind too!
I would definitely be careful with him. Even though he makes u happy and u enjoy his company if u seek something more go try finding it somewhere else. I’m not saying this to play games, but it seems like work wolf, “wants to have his cake and eat it too” he fuckin the vixens and also loves your undivided attention. i would hate to see you wait patiently for work wolf while trying to decode every response and interaction.
I think you need to slow your roll. I think the friendship to him is important, but this man is enjoying the attention you are giving him, which is something I have been saying for a while now. Men do not wait this long to claim something they want, especially when they know a another man is moving in. You two have been friends for several months and he knows you want him. What is the hold up? He is truly straight I believe. I think he told you his brother wasn’t gay so you would not ask about him. You gotta chill man. When he said being with another man was disgusting, that was it for me. I would have backed off. I’m the type who has to hear it directly from the person’s mouth.
^ The Man
Exactly
^^^^^^^^^THIS
I agree w this. Dude seems straight and is a straight up attention whore. To me jamari giving his ego too much too. I don’t know if he can chill as you said and just be his friend, cause even when this dude stay making it a point to tell Jamari about all these females he fucking Jamari just getting fully turned on by shit like that lol. I just hope he doesn’t get hurt bad in this.
Jamari I commend you for breaking out of the shell and being more open with this guy instead of admiring from afar. That takes courage. But I have to agree 150 percent The Man. You need to chill on him! He is fucking women and telling you about it. He says gay sex is disgusting. He just seems to like the attention. Some folks get off on that. This guy has turned into your cigarette habit. Try to break it. Try cutting back the communication for a week or two and focusing on other activities. I guarantee you if you do that in a month or two you will look back and say, “Why was I wasting my time with that.” How do I know? #beentheredonethattwice
^actually,
and this is where my stupidity comes in,
But I ask him.
99.9% of the time,
I ask him about that.
he never brings up any vixen to me unless I ask him about them.
he is usually focused on me or what we’re doing…
and im usually focused on who he is fuckin with.
so again: my stupidity.
It may be he is jealous or it could be he is protective.One of my cousins is always “clock blocking” guys who flirt with his sisters.He wants his sisters to focus on college.So when guys asks if his sisters have boyfriends he lies and says yes.He also threatens guys.WW could simply be jealous or he may believe the myth that every gay guy is sexually interested in every guy.Some straight guys think every gay guy is trying to” turn out ” straight guys.
I think you blew his response way out of proportion though lol. He was probably just stating facts. You didn’t cross a line, and I don’t think he thought so either. Honestly you kind of over-reacted to what he said lol. All you had to say was something cheeky like “damn” or “ah, ok jk” kind of thing and keep it cool.
JMO though.
^i didn’t ask him if his brother was gay.
i complimented his looks.
i even made a joke about it.
i felt like work wolf went left with it.
if i had said:
“damn your brother is fine as shit.
i want to fuck him…”
then i could understand.
When a guy says a girl is hot…translation is he wants to fuck…you basically said it in his eyes
I completely agree with you. It definitely wasn’t a big deal. He was just saying he wasn’t gay.
Hmmm boy you know why lol
He likes that he gets a side of you nobody else gets, vice versa. He probably got a little green with envy because like I said yesterday all of your focus doesn’t seem to be on him like it did before. He knows you like him and I feel like once you complemented his brother he probably didn’t feel like first place. I didn’t think you crossed a line as a friend you should be able to joke like that, for him to get ruffled meant it was more and he felt something.
P.S. Is the other wolf from your job (the one you gave your gamer tag to) attractive? cuz work wolf might feel like he has competition 😏
^shit his brother is fine LOL
i couldn’t hold it in.
i thought he would take it as a joke.
guess not.
the other wolf is not my type.
he okay,
but he is awkward.
Translation: Ummmm he’s the only guy you are allowed to compliment in his presence. 😉 #DulyNoted
^see and thats the shit i’m talking about.
he fucked some chick last night,
but i make a comment about his brother and i get this…
smh.
I don’t think there was static… I think HE wants to be the ONLY man you crush on… He likes the games you and him play. He would NEVER trade that for a potential upgraded version of himself…ESPECIALLY his damn brother. Come on son… 🙄
^should i feel offended about his response?
even tho i apologized,
i feel he owes me one too.
or let it go?
@over it…you hit the nail on the head!
Jamari, he won’t accept you making comments about others around him. HE has to be the center of attention. Been there, done that. He has that mentality that its okay for HIM to do it…but you can’t because he’s jealous (although he won’t admit it).
…and let it go. Don’t harp on it. LOL
Exactly.. “he’s not ga tho…so keep your comments on me”