“we been knew” towards someone who comes out is actually f*cked up

i’m gonna dedicate this entry to the straights.
oooooh,
our poor and simple straights.
you gotta hold their hands as you lead them to a dragging.
so as the above tweet stated:

“We been knew…”

i have a problem with that statement…

when gays and anyone in the community come out to the straights in their lives,
it is a very personal decision.
a lot of thought goes into it like:

“Will they accept me?”
“Will they stick around?”

for me,
i did it with people i thought loved and appreciated me.
atm,
i felt comfortable and wanted to be free.

Some of those fake-ass negroes and negresses left my life.

they didn’t make me feel loved and supported at all.
they hit me with “we been knew” and then bounced,
almost making it feel like the big secret that has been solved.
it made me feel like i gave my virginity to someone i thought i could trust.
they hit and then ghosted.

when someone is hit with a “we been knew”,
it feels like those past moments in my life.
i watched how some of them carried on about gays while i kept myself guarded.
the signs were there but i was being ignorant and trying to go with the flow.
i’ve realized they were all trash humans that showed me who they were.

when someone comes out to a straight,
the best response is:

“Thank you for sharing that with me.
I know that took a lot and was probably very personal,
but I’m grateful you let me into your world.”

…and mean that shit.

“I already knew and I wanted you to be able to tell me when you were ready.”

…is so much better if you genuinely knew.
always make someone feel welcomed and comfortable when sharing a big moment.
for some gays,
it is a big moment.
“we been knew” makes us feel they were being talked about and judged.


we watched them be weird about others they suspected were gay.
we wonder if this is why some straight males bounced because of rumors.
why we felt deep inside that some folks weren’t comfortable with us.

Why one (or both) of your parents shows they don’t like you because they been knew.

that statement is problematic and i need it gone.

lowkey: if we said “we been knew” they were hoes and dusty losers,
they wouldn’t like that.

x click here to see all the responses in that tweet

8 thoughts on ““we been knew” towards someone who comes out is actually f*cked up

  1. Funny you used that Justin Timberlake gif. Lance Bass came to mind when I saw the post title and I remember him saying when he came out to the group they told him that they kind of already knew he was gay as well. He was trying so hard to hide it back then because he thought it would’ve affected theri success.

    There was also a scene from that LA Complex show when the rapper came out to his close friend and his response was he knew he was gay since they were kids.

    I think some used that as a way of saying if they had a problem with it back then they would have made it been known. If they are still around now then that means they’re fine with your preference.

  2. Can someone tell me why we feel we need to “Come out” to our families? It’s not their business, I don’t have to share that part of my life with them, it just opens the door for judgement. Just keep it to yourself. IMO

    1. ^this is actually a great question i would like answered.

      why are we pressured to come out?
      why can’t we live a private and free life?
      i’m not one to tell anyone to come out anyone tbh.
      that is your choice if you want to be out or discreet.

      1. I mean I don’t your family doesn’t need to know the in and outs of whatever you do but it why do you feel the need to hide when its nothing wrong with what we are… I mean if it’s a gathering you would want to bring whoever you are with so they family can get to know them? So your significant other can see where you came from? I can understand if you aren’t close to your family or you family is messed up and yall don’t get along in general. Hiding though and you suppose to be close its seem strange to me. I mean I guess I am from a family that “yeah you gay so you still family”! I had a cousin that her current and ex both came to family functions! Hell her ex who had an ex-husband who owned a furniture store furnished our house when I mother separated from my father. I guess everybody family ain’t really family.

    2. It’s called transparency.

      And some people don’t want their experience to be relegated to hookups/sex culture, so it’s integral to how one builds relationships with others.

    3. Because people want to share all of their lives. Because they want people to stop asking when they’re going to get a girlfriend. Because the same people saying “Why do you have to come out?” are also saying “You ain’t got to lie. Just be honest”.

      So which one is it ? Either gays should pretend they’re not gay and be as masculine as possible to not make you uncomfortable…or they can admit they like penis and booty.

      The same way straight people can talk about crazy exes or say they’re seeing someone new who has potential, if people have good relationships with their family, everytime their cousins or siblings talk about their relationships, maybe they wish they could speak up without people saying it’s disgusting and gross.

  3. I don’t have a problem with “we been knew” as long as all that time you actually acted like an ally.

    i’ll take it as “let’s not make it a big deal i know who you are from the beginning and i love you like that”

    But too many people be like we been knew but are the same people calling a slightly femine guy a sissy pussy faggot, with degrading gay jokes etc.

    So you knew i was gay but you still made me feel unsafe, you can go fuck yourself and your mama

  4. It’s just something people say, to be rude.

    I say this because plenty of people get away with being gay.

    They say if they make gay jokes and you don’t laugh, it’s because you’re gay yourself.

    I could never pull down towels or smack butts in the lockerroom and apparently that’s gay behavior.

    Straight guys get away with a lot of gayness, so “we been knew” is “You were too uncomfortable with joking around and being gay”. We let certain men in society act gay without consequence.

    They’re “just playing”. smh

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