“you are sitting there.
shiny.
waiting.
you are the object of desire.
everyone wants to try for your attention.
funny thing is…
they don’t.
they would rather play the easy game than the challenge.
you make people want to step up.
get their shit together because they know…
you not like everyone else.
the only problem is…
you are too much of a prize to really pursue.
how crazy is that?”
they say if you think you are a “prize”,
others will view you just the same.
does that really work in this life?
hell is it even working for the straights?
well i don’t know what to think about it anymore.
being the person that sits on the top shelf.
the one who pays their bills on time,
credit is exceptional,
everything is in their name,
and they are living that independent hustle.
realistically that all could be used against you when you are trying to date.
who woulda thunk?
check it…
you walk around the forests,
doing what you do,
and striving to become this “prize” to the world.
“the catch”.
people see how you carry yourself.
you are different.
exotic.
it excites some; intimidates the rest.
the funny part is that you start seeing,
no realizing,
that the “gag bags” get scooped up first.
the thots
the lazy
the drama
the wack
…but you,
this prize that everyone says you are,
can’t seem to find anyone worth your time.
it makes you feel alone sitting so high up there.
…and the ones you do find?
well they want to use you and throw you away just the same.
…the ones you want?
well they too scared to even approach.
you watch them get scooped by all the:
the thots
the lazy
the drama
the wack
i mean you could say “low hanging fruit” is easier to pick.
that is definitely true.
the problem is that its trendy nowadays to be ratchet.
plus they are easier to understand.
you are complicated.
so i had to wonder whats the point in being “the prize”?
the person who works hard.
the one who doesn’t want to be like everyone else.
is there someone really out there for them?
you go a little higher up the food chain and you’re “asking for too much”.
you go for something a little lower and “you need to do better”.
so as of now,
you are nowhere.
you latch onto people who are unavailable because they match the qualities you are looking for.
they appreciate you because of how you helped changed their life.
sadly that road leads to doom and you become the trapped:
the best friend who has to pretend like you don’t like this muthafucka
the cool gay guy that isn’t like the legion of messy gays
so you to sit on that shelf,
all alone,
while you wait for someone to make his move.
either the unavailable doom or some random that wants to take a chance.
how fun!
the only problem is…
How long does that take?
…are you really suppose to wait for someone to notice you?
especially in a life that makes you feel you are rusty after a certain age.
in a life where people want easy,
rather than having to work for it,
i had to ask…
Whats the benefits of being “the prize”?
…and will you ever get picked?
@Dignified…what I do is try to get to know the person. If you get to know them, once they’re comfortable with you, they will say things that let you know they’re interested. Unless you’re like me and that shyt goes over your head. LOL
My friend would say to me, you dummy…that guy/girl was hitting on you!
There’s this one guy that works with the grounds crew. Tall, slim, Dominican kat. Nice as hell, always cracking jokes, and very handsome. I woud see this guy almost every morning, and I would say hello. We initially had small talk and one winter morning I got him a hot chocolate from Starbucks. He was very appreciative, and from that moment on we started talking even more. The more he got to know me, the looser that tongue became. So one day he said to me, you good peeps dude. You make a nigga wanna take you home and have his way…and winked. He made me choke on my water. All I could say was is that right? And to be honest with you, it scared me because my paranoid thinking is that fellas are trying to test you to see if you gay/bi/etc. I’ve seen it happen.
That is my biggest reason for not going after the guys that come at me.
I find it amazing how you write all of my feelings! Lol. I have these thoughts all the time and I’ve had someone break up with me because I was “too good” for them in a sense. But I think the thing that keeps me going is that I do it all for me. I get my education for me, I go to the gym for me, I look cute for me, etc. If someone happens to notice that’s great but I view myself as a prize already so I don’t really need someone’s validation (though a boo would be nice lol).
I’m sleep, but I don’t your tax bracket, what you drive, the labels you wear, your bank accounts, or your bangin ass body really make you a prize…at least not to anyone with substance.
We’re men! We are supposed to be standing on our own two feet building lives for ourselves!
Besides all that shit can be taken away and you wouldn’t be considered a “prize”.
I think how you make people feel in your presence makes you a prize. Are you encouraging, inspiring, and kind? Do you really possess the ability to love unconditionally and be OPEN!
Now all those things together are rare and constitute being a prize to me.
If you subscribe to those shallow values gay culture perpetuates you’ll still be in a sea of single men.
I’m not saying having all those qualities will make a man instantly appear, but good energy attracts the like.
I gotta emphasize being OPEN because a lot of men aren’t!
No ones saying to forget past experiences, hell you should be careful who you give your heart to!
As someone that considers themselves a prize, you have to realize other prizes aren’t always obvious. Everything that glitters isn’t gold.
I think you’re really on to something JAY! I really do, but how does a shyer person like me be more open to a total stranger that he’s attracted to? I dont mind making the move either but i dont know how to, or who’s safe to! How do I appear available but not thirsty?sloppy? What are the signals? what does it look like? I dont think I appear mean, but idk.
But yes, I love what you said about how you make someone feel, im very responsive to how a man makes me FEEL rather than the other shit. THat stuff comes second.
Theres this wolf at work that is totally not my type but he’s got a tight body. hes blonde and blue-eyed LOL but he’scute as hell, baby faced and has the cutest personality ever and wheres those tight adidas pants around his tight little cheeks. Made me so horny and usually I’m pretty good around the straight types, and usually I prefer black and latin men almost exclusiviely with a different energy.
It threw me off because its clear that my preferences dont define how i feel. There are clearly other factors at work here! lol!
Oh this one is for me!
I felt like you were inside my head with this entry. (Its scary when you do that, but awesome at the same time!) LOL
Honestly, after hashing it out a lot in the comments in previous entries I’ve been feeling better about this.
It is what it is.
I’m not easy…at all, heck getting to know me alone can be difficult because I’m waiting for the other person to show who they really are before I make my final decision about them. That takes time.
The longer I’m letting you do that, the more I consider you an investment.
There’s no grey area for me, I’m either investing in you, or off your situation. There is no “seasonal” or “part-time” relationships/friendships/situationships with me. With me or not with me.
People dont like that. They like easy, they like extroverted, they like what they want to see right away, as soon as you meet them.
If you think you know me from one conversation with me, you will have the opposite impression of me than someone who had one conversation with me just before them. Thats how complex I am. A lot of intricacies and nuances that show themselves in context.
Thing is, the relationships I do have are healthy, positive, I don’t have drama or fallouts. I’m forward enough so you know where I stand but Im not rude or disrespectful, and also know when to stay in my lane and shut my big mouth, and lead him lead. I dont waste my time being phony with people, i just dont care enough about people to put in that kind of effort. SO people always feel comfortable with me because they know what I’m about.
No mess, no drama, no hate, no judgment, no deceit. Simple.
But that doesnt come easy. I watch for the red signs, making sure i understand you before I really know the deal with you yknow? I don’t trust people up-front, im watching and listening! I’m almost never wrong about people.
Am I a trophy or prize? Not for me to say. I’m not the one looking to date me, so thats on him to decide.
Apparently, my traits aren’t valuable at all. Or maybe I’m not attractive enough. I literally don’t know anymore. LOL!
Its hard out here for people like me. Its just the reality, because I don;t compromise on my values for someone I dont really know, I need the security of familiarity before I do anything reckless with someone,
^can I say I love this comment d?
you are on a path of self discovery as I am.
it’s exciting how we can share the growing pains.
Thanks! and that discovery is my answer the entry question! The benefit is that we know what we bring to the table whether or not its valued by the objects of our affections.
Once we reach that nirvana, we know our stock, and no social standard could take that away from us!
^It’s official…I’ve found my mirror image! LOL
So many similar traits it’s scary! I’m not about phonies. Can’t stand them, and can’t stand being around them. So they gets no effort from me. One thing I do is watch and listen to people. I’m always doing that, and like you…I generally can call it. And because I have no problem calling a person on their actions/behavior, it can sometimes cause people to think “angry black man” syndrome. I have to learn how to sometimes say nothing…but it’s hard! LOL
Do you find yourself playing therapist/psychologist?!! People always want to tell you their problems/issues? I do!
YES Christian!I feel like I should get paid! Its to the point where I am hesitant to gve out advice because i get frustrated when I give more profound advice to someone where they can learn themselves on a deeper level and then they’re just derp anyway and do the stupid things people do anyway despite my advice lol! I just sit and listen ROFL!
I only give good advice to people that can really intellectualize it! Those people are fun to talk to, and usually its a two way street!
I learned the lesson of literally just saying nothing or very little!I used to have a very flared up temper and shut people DOWN , especially with fake people. I LOVED calling people out on it. These days though, I find that most people are too “common” to even waste my breath on. I’m above them anyway. I don’t care if they know. I just treat them like they’re stupid and keep it moving lol!
Pick your battles wisely! Its too much effort and negative energy, yknow? I feel you though, sometimes, even I struggle with that LOL! Just gotta remind myself!
We must be cut from the same cloth! Thank GOD there are people like you out there! I’m not alone!
I don’t understand. I work hard on myself to be a “prize” because I was a chubby and an ugly boy, you can’t imagine what it like to be a gay fat boy in the gay world. But I workout to have a decent body, a cute face, and a good wardrobe, plus I’m sweet and told I’m funny, but still no guy want me. I do get some guys hitting on me online, but some of them aren’t what I want in life, u know.
^we in the same boat Lin.
we gotta keep rowing.
The benefits of being the prize and getting looked over is that you weed out the ones that are not meant for you, which is good if you ask me. We may believe we want certain people in our lives, but when they show you their true colors believe it. However, when you do find the right one, no matter what age you are when HE comes, you will know that it was worth the wait.
^good view man.
I can dig this answer.
My sentiments exactly Man! Thats how I live my life. It is lonely 97% of the time though, I must admit. Still worth it in the end I guess, if I even can get that far LOL!
110%@ The Man..and if I may add: while you’re waiting to be collected by that one: continue to work on your Mind: Body: and Soul!!
I’ve been asking myself that. Shit seems like these days being gay guy who’s just regular gets you nowhere. I’ve wondered what it would be like to be messy or just accept any gay guy that comes my way just so I can say “look I’m dating” but NOPE that’s just not me.
^word.