i have been feeling emotionally needy for a while.
i’ve been feeling bad when i have to pull out my inner werewolf.
animals piss me off and i gotta regulate.
the problem is,
after i go off,
i feel bad afterwards.
why is this?
how could someone like me,
who didn’t take no shit before,
suddenly start awarding bad behavior?
well what i realized was simple…
i was spoiling others emotionally
bad decision.
i was having things done to me,
but when i had to put my paws down,
i was questioning how the other felt about it.
so…
they did something to me and i was feeling like i did the wrong.
the fuck kinda logic….
it didn’t do nothing but turn kindness into weakness.
i felt frustrated and burnt out.
i noticed i was always going back with my tail between my legs.
well no more.
you know mi had the nerve to had an attitude with me this weekend?
why?
well for one,
she is telling me how to act in my crib.
i slam a cabinet door and she is upset because i did it.
yet she leaves hair,
dishes,
and all kinds of mess,
but i’m supposed to be okay with it.
i also noticed that when she does something wrong,
and i have to ignore her existence instead of going in,
that is she wants to act right and clean the crib.
the problem is that when i returning back to being nice,
she turns it all around back to “fuck shit avenue”.
hmm.
she ran out of toilet paper and she expected me to refill the roll.
i’m always refilling the roll.
she spends her money on all kinds of shit,
but when it comes to wiping her ass,
she neglects that?
notice i said “she”.
jamari fox has about 8 rolls of toilet paper in his den.
i was able to wipe my ass with no issues.
after the 4th day of an empty roll,
i had to ask her if she was going to refill it.
she finally did this morning.
work wolf is no better.
suddenly he has been forgetting his common courtesy.
we been talking and he would just vanish.
no “yo hold on” or ‘let me hit you back”.
just gone with no explanation.
aight cool.
so i’ll do me and give him space.
suddenly he is blowing up my phone.
nah homie.
i gotta retrain him on how to treat me.
he is getting too emotionally comfortable.
he knows i will always be there.
i won’t be making anymore fuss.
from now on,
i’ll step back and let him feel a draft.
a cold blast usually wakes a wolf up.
it isn’t easy putting your foot down once animals are comfortable.
you start wondering if they will leave.
you can’t worry about that.
i’m learning that no explanation,
but teaching with your actions,
is the best method in getting animals together.
you gotta make them see what its like when you bounce.
actions can speak louder than a cuss out.
lowkey: i’m tired of playing mister nice fox.
its time for a new role this season.
I’m late. I’ve never commented before but this situation was too familiar. Toilet paper, hygiene products, living room, cable, dishes and all. The only way to solve this problem is for her to get tf out. You letting her stay there was a favor but she feels as tho that is your crutch. People will show you how they were raised by their actions. How long do you think she would have waited to get a new roll?….a long ass time. That shows you she is trifling. There is no tip toeing around that. Just like you want your actions to speak for themselves, so do hers. Grown people are usual set in their ways. You might feel bad because I sure did too. But once you ve tried to explain how you feel and set ground rules for what needs to change and the person still doesn’t make a PERMANENT effort to change, they have to gtfo. Rs, because now they are disrespecting you, your house and your wallet. They’ve taken your kindness for weakness. People with genuine hearts have a hard time realizing how cold and opportunistic others can be. Please do not be a prisoner in you own crib. Continue to let her chill while you front the bill and are uncomfortable, best believe she will run with it until you cannot tolerate any more.
Oh and I meant to say too that once boundaries are crossed or if they were never set to begin with, they are very hard to establish or reestablish. This applies to any relationship.
As I’ve gotten older, I realized that my time is valuable. I don’t allow people to waste my time!!!
Yea, Mi definitely needs to get her shit together like now, and as a woman you would think she would not mind doing that. Every time I think you two are in a good place, something always seems to come up.
Tbh you are no better, J. You are constantly hitting up my phone asking me if you are handsome o beautiful, like one yes isn’t good enough for you? Damn you are so needy and sometime petty with you calling me a whore like seriously? Just because I said yes once and not a billion time?
But on a much serious note. Jamari, being mister nice is not your problem, your friend/cousin are. You really need to pick better people in your life instead of people from the garbage. No offense to Mi, but I know a ghetto trash when I see one, I’m sorry, but it’s true. Work Wolf? I know ole boy is from the dumpster but I will give him a pass for the time being cause I know you wanna fuck him, but don’t you dare date him.
You and mi remind of the battered woman abusive boyfriend syndrome.
Especially the part where she cleans up to get back in your good graces.
So I’m not misunderstood, you’re the battered woman in this situation Jamari.
The older I get, the more I realize: we teach people how to treat us by what we allow. You sound a lot like me. I let people walk over me and then get mad that they look at me like a doormat. Ugh. It’s the worst man…
Tony, you make some VERY valid points. I too had to cut loose some people, and of course I was made to be the bad guy in the situation. Years later then they wanna come back in my life like nothing happened. Not happening, cause you’re my PAST…and I’ve moved on with my life with no desire to look back or rekindle any relationship. All the best. See ya!
And then I’m called bitter. LOL
Man this one really spoke to me. I used to take shit from no one, gave no fucks. People thought I was being too aggressive so I changed my whole act up and then the trolls came out from under the bridge and started taking my “kindness for weakness,” getting over on me every which way they could. So I met my act in the middle. I give people a couple of chances but at the end of the day, no one, not even family, is worth your emotional stability so, without so much as a mood change, I cut people off and I definitely let them know it. They have to earn their way back into my life or they’re gone for good. End of story.
If peoplease want and deserve to be in your life, they will do what it takes to earn a seat at the table. If not, don’t give away a seat and a free meal to to people who don’t want to help set the table or wash the dishes.
^LOVE THIS!
I just removed someone from the table because they chose not to tell the truth about something we both know is truth. Instead they challenged me to show proof. Trust me..I have proof but you had the chance to be honest and chose to lie. I shouldn’t have to clean your dishes if you just put them in the dishwasher and we dry them together
^i love this analogy tony.
is it wrong to ignore texts tho?
^i feel like im tired of talking and explaining myself.
I think ignoring texts is passive aggressive and will make others just think you are crazy. You need the direct approach and let them know you will cease communication until they seem to genuinely want a relationship that is mutually beneficial. People need to know they fucked up and why..give then an opportunity to correct it and show they want a,relationship. If they make no attempt to correct their part or acknowledge their part then the cycle will repeat itself
^but it’s okay when others ignore mine?
it’s okay when im put on the back burner?
im about to stop talking to everyone because I never seem to win.
im the one who is at fault when others do dumb shit to me.
Dont explain..cut em off
Unfortunately they ignore yours because eventually you let them back in. Then the cycle repeats. You teach people how to treat you by whar you tolerate. If an employee treated you like this..what would you do. If it were a top performer on your team you might give some slack because you can count on them in the end. I have a friend who I’ve known 20 years. A day may go by without a text response on either side. That happens only when we both extremely busy and may intend to respin but usually work or something will stop us in tge middle of typing. Its not intentional but best believe in a day or so we will connect. ..not needing or wanting anything and it is as if we never missed a beat. We earned that from each other over time. Someone else who isn’t significant wint get a response or if it’s done to me tells me where I stand. Don’t force anyone to love you. If they are meant to be in your life it should be easy
Tony you preaching up in here tonight, can the church say Amen
“you start wondering if they will leave.
you can’t worry about that.
i’m learning that no explanation,
but teaching with your actions,
is the best method in getting animals together.
you gotta make them see what its like when you bounce.
actions can speak louder than a cuss out.”
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Best part of this post😁
Mi has gotten way to comfortable, to be doing this. I think she forgets this was suppose to be a temporary thing, it’s time to remind her with the quickness.
^yeah she is acting like she owns my damn living room.
need I remind her,
im paying for that cable she enjoys so much.
Sometimes people learn not to take advantage of you when you decide not to be in a position to be taken advantage. Sounds like it’s time you let her learn how to live on her own
^makes sense tony
No, No…ain’t no way
You gon’…take away
My joy, my peace, my strength.
This one for you, J. Listen to it and take it to heart! Someone irks me, I listen to this.
https://youtu.be/jDonlQbkIzA
^i mean am I wrong?
im tired of being the one to always reach out and try to solve problems others start with me.
it should never be this difficult…
Not at all, J. At some point you realize you gotta step back and take a look at your relationships and see whether they are of convenience or substance. If it’s of convenience, it may be time to move on and leave those folks behind. If it’s of substance, build on it, because those are the people you need around you. You need contributors not leeches.