one of the last things my mother told me on her deathbed was:

“make sure you and your sister don’t get separated.
i want you both together.”

…and i tried.
if it wasn’t jackals circling her money,
it was relatives coddling her because she was “light skin”.

Foxhole,
it was a challenge.

i often wonder what our lives would have been like if we moved to florida?
we were supposed to go live with our uncle,
but tbh,
his life crashed and burned a few years later.
as my sister got older,
her mental health got worse and worse.
unfortunately,
we don’t have the kind of relationship my mother wanted for us.
she hits me up ever so often with “i’m gonna do better” DMS.
i don’t answer because she isn’t gonna do better.

i’ve been seeing a lot of discourse online about rue,
who is played by zendaya on “euphoria“.

people saying lexi was mean.
people saying her mother should have tried harder.
people saying they wanted a happier ending for rue.

mmm.

until you’ve loved someone struggling with addiction,
or severe mental health issues…

“euphoria” ended how it was supposed to end.
i don’t like how the final third season went at times,
because it almost felt like a completely different show.
nate jacobs in his humiliation ritual arc being the main one.

it felt like the creator of “euphoria”,
sam levinson,
cut nate’s balls off,
made him wear the dog outfit cassie had on,
and had him be his little bitch until he was euthanized.
along with that story line,
labrinth being cut from music (because he created a whole mood),
and jules being pretty useless,
i think the ending was pretty solid.
spoilers included…

in many instances,
each and any of us are the drama.
there are people who look at like like:

“damn,
they always got some shit going on.”

we all have issues,
crazy,
quirks,
and kinks.
we have all done shit that we could be judged heavily for.
i watched a movie called,
“the drama“,
and Foxhole:

IT WAS SO GOOD.

without giving it away,
“the drama” was one of the characters revealing “the worst thing they ever did”.
what they admitted was a doozy but personally,
i wouldn’t have reacted so harshly.
i have emotional intelligence and would at least need more context for the “why?”.
everyone ain’t me tho.
while all the other characters admitted to doing things much worse,
they took turns dog piling on the character who shared their truth.
this bitch:

…being the “everyone else“.
the movie made me think of when you’re asked to tell your truth…

tilda
mikey
demi
zoe
angie
zendaya

it’s hollywood’s leading vixens stealing the show again.
they gathered around the hollywood reporter round table radiating wisdom,
charm,
and authenticity.
it was a masterclass in self-awareness and vulnerability.
tbh,
when i think of their male counterparts…

euphoria season 1 on hbo was a breakthrough show for me.
sure,
they lured me in with “this episode will have 1,000 penises” in it but they sure did deliver.
zendaya did her transition to adult serious content the right way.
i was excited to see what they would bring forth with season 2.
um…

Continue reading “SO I WATCHED THE SEASON 2 PREMIERE OF EUPHORIA, AND, WELL…” →

i must be desensitized to certain things.
from folks at work,
and on the net,
everyone was clutching pearls about hbo’s “euphoria” starring zendaya.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuAzkZIiGxI

you know i love being shocked so i watched half of it on the train coming home. foxhole…

Continue reading “having “euphoria” about not having kids” →