sadness

Depression is a Hard To Handle Bitch

i suffer from depression.
diagnosed by a therapist when my parents were alive.
there.
i said it.
oh…
i been on medication to the point i was a zombie.
i haven’t been on medication in years,
until my recent doctor prescribed me zoloft.
i’m scared to take it.
i always said i wanted to go through life without anesthesia.
using drugs to cope as i go through my journey.
well i got what i asked for.
i’ll say this…
Continue reading “Depression is a Hard To Handle Bitch” →

The New Episodes of “The Mind Is Right” (Start Date When?)

sadness.
insecurity.
over-thinking.
fear.
it all concocts the recipe of “fuck shit” in our lives.
you try to achieve your goals,
but one (if not all of those things) put a full stop to it.
its like a swipe password pattern almost.

you don’t feel happy.
swipe left and it leads to seeing the insecurities in your life.
swipe up and it makes you question everything you do.
when you swipe down,
it makes you want to stay stagnant,
because well,
you don’t feel good enough.

its all the plot to keep you where you are.
bad enough,
social media and these lying ass hoes don’t make it any better.
i couldn’t stop but wonder…

How do you put an end to mental and emotional “fuck shit”?…
Continue reading “The New Episodes of “The Mind Is Right” (Start Date When?)” →

My Mirror Tells Me That I’m Ugly

i have a couple questions and there are not meant to be insulting.
okay ready?
here goes…
have you ever looked in the mirror and thought you were “ugly”?
have you looked in the mirror and one flaw meant the end of the world?
and have you ever compared yourself to other people?
its okay.
you don’t need to feel embarrassed.
i’m not going to judge you.
its just me and you.
trust a lot of us have felt that way once or twice in our lives.
many people no matter how:

attractive
how much money they have
getting good pussy/ass/pipe on the regular

…feel that way every single day.
well you may suffer from “body dysmorphic disorder” and not even realize it.
i’ll tell you what that is…
Continue reading “My Mirror Tells Me That I’m Ugly” →

That Thing, That Thing, That Thii-iii-iii-iiiing

i have been thinking about zen’s comment in the last entry.
zen is one of the foxhole’s loyal voices in the comment boxes.
you can read it ( x here ).
i understand where he is coming from.
i am not shy about admitting my struggles,
but i have started to notice something…
Continue reading “That Thing, That Thing, That Thii-iii-iii-iiiing” →

How to Lose Friends, Alienate People, and Realize You’re A Dumbass

i’m letting you know now.
when you have good friends,
ones who actually give a fuck about your ass,
please do what you can to hold onto them.
i’m not talking about those friends who will buy you dranks at the bar.
nor the ones who will tell you the latest dirt about someone else.
i’m talking about the ones who have shown and proved.
the ones that when you call,
they will answer you.
the ones who know the real you and don’t care about your flaws.
in this road of self discovery and #comeback i’m on,
i’m learning a lot about myself and how i treat people,
the way i handle situations,
and how i solve them.
i had to wonder…