when shit happens in your life,
you can go through a metamorphosis of sorts.
i have been feeling like that foxhole.
after being laid off,
and seeing who my real “friends” are,
i have been getting a new coat of thicker fur.
i mean,
i’ve been through this before,
but it’s tougher this era.
thankfully,
i’m out of “everything sucks” and in “taking myself to the next level” mode.
the fear i use to have isn’t like how it was years ago.
i’m giving myself a much deserved mental break after everything i been through.
one where i’m learning to just relax and not live in “panic” mode.

i was in the shower earlier and something came to me.
there are a couple reasons why things go to shit in our lives.

1) so you can be humbled tremendously
2) so you can do what your calling really is

there is also a third one that i’ll address down below…
Continue reading “Getting Shitted On Can Be A Good Thing” →

there has been a lot of discussion within the foxhole lately.
it has been about relationships or the life in general.
the thing i love about the foxhole is how intelligently we debate.
i’ve been thinking about something that i’ve wanted an opinion on.
so everyone in the life talks about:

“you shouldn’t be following heterosexual norms”
“there should be no roles as far as dating”
“wolf? top? hybrid? what?”

but then my thing is…
Continue reading “I Don’t Fit Into The Gay Life” →

i was laying in bed and my mind was taking me on a trip today.
it was connecting the dots to different things in my life.
the universe,
God,
or whatever you believe in makes life painfully ironic at times…
Continue reading “Keep Playing” →

i love beautiful things.
i’m attracted to the finer things in life.
it could be from my home to what i put in my mouth.
speaking of things i like to put into my mouth…
Continue reading “The Beautiful and The Damned (or Both)” →

today was a better day.
well a step up from yesterday.
it could have happened because i called the ( x crossroad’s prayer line ).
i don’t know.
i went to sleep on the edge of emotions last night.
that debate had me feeling bad,
but all the shit i was going through kept circling my mind.
i felt doomed.
i felt like life was sonning me.
at work…
Continue reading “You Can Come Out (The Rain Stopped)” →

“where is my dinner?”

“i’m sorry,
i got in late because i had so much stuff to do for you…”

“that isn’t the question.”

“i’m sorry.
i’ll make dinner now.
i’ll put on something quick.”

“i don’t want something quick.
see thats the bullshit i’m talking about…”

“you said you were hungry…”

“yes,
but i don’t want no half assed shit…”

“well what do you want me to do?”

“i want you to get in the kitchen and make me a full fuckin meal.
you should have started that hours ago.”

“but i had to get your dry cleaning,
get the car looked at,
and…”

“again,
you should have started that early.
now dinner is going to be late and i’m hungry.”

“i’m sorry…”

you know what i’ve realized these last two years…
Continue reading “What Happened to You, Jamari Fox?” →