i was telling my therapist today that i really admire “the bold bitch“.
karaoke is one of my first examples in life of “the bold bitch”.
i have really admired her since i first met her.
she isn’t mean or rude to people.
people love being around her.
she just has that “she don’t play that“.
she isn’t easily shaken and is in control of herself.

B. I. T. C H.
“BEING IN TOTAL CONTROL of HERSELF”

my first example of it was when we we worked together…

i cried during the first episode of “carrie” on amazon prime.
it triggered me in so many ways.
i was once that young fox,
bright-eyed and bushy tailed,
who just wanted friendship.

those little jackals made my young life so difficult.

they made me feel like everything i did was wrong.
bad enough,
at home,
that is how i was being treated as well.

it was like i had no peace.

the only peace i had was playing with my toys and video games,
losing myself in creating good guys vs bad guys with my action figures.
i was “the weird one” but looking back,
they were all weird AF growing up so fast.
so this show really spoke to me.
i always thought carrie was a hero tbh.

if i had powers,
it would pretty much be over.

this is why God didn’t trust me with super powers of that magnitude.

the show was going well for me…

until (with spoilers)…

oh.
my.
Gawd.
so today,
i was randomly doom scrolling my IG exploring page and ^he came up.
it was a video of him walking a runway but it was how he walked:

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A post shared by Nico Sorenzo (@nicosorenzo)

i was like,
“damn,
he just got up out the audience and walked like that?”.
i know there are some fashion shows happening rn,
and a lot of attentionistos post these kinds of “people staring at them” content,
but one of the Foxholers pulled me to the side and said…

i’ve been thinking about something lately that has been sitting on my chest.
let me do my big one and get it out...

lets say me and you are going on a trip on our favorite rocket ship,
just the two of us,
and we are going out of the country to paris for paris fashion week.
we are like good friends on the heavy.
a first class ticket to paris fashion week is,
around the lowest 3k to the highest,
which would be in the 7k ballpark.
i hit you up and say:

“hey!
pack up because we are going to paris fashion week”.

also,
i forgot to mention one crucial detail in this hypothetical story…

i see him with a white vixen tbh.
many of these “black power” menz always end up with white vixens.
it is what it is.

as life goes on,
i’m learning some people like the idea of marriage and kids,
but not what it takes to create a healthy household.
i’ve even seen it in my own parentals.

“nathan” from “insecure“,
aka kendrick sampson,
has a entirely different approach.

he said “fuck that relationship/marriage shit…