So,
I cried…
today.
keyword: today.

i wasn’t about to get netflix just to see beyonce perform yesterday.
netflix and i are on bad terms right now,
but that’s another story.
today,
i watched her concert in houston and it was chef’s kiss.
it’s a whole different level when black excellence takes the stage.
bey has been the entire forest in an industry where we’ve had to fight just to plant roots.
yesterday,
she graced her hometown with a special christmas performance at some arena.
something about the nfl…
ya know,
who cares because once bey rode in on her high horse…

I got something that I didn’t realize until yesterday when I was in sudden pain.

it all started with an itch…

Have you ever wondered if life’s little messes are actually Gods way of sending us a message?

i didn’t want to leave my apartment at first.
it was 8am,
snow was coming down hard,
and my fridge was empty.
on top of that,
i was out of dishwashing liquid.
that is a survival essential if you hate dirty dishes as much as i do.

“i can do this tomorrow,” I thought.

….but what if tomorrow came and i pushed it back again?
tomorrow is christmas.
i was supposed to spend today with my straight boyfriend.
don’t ask,
it’s complicated.
he wanted us to do christmas eve and christmas together,
but plans got canceled thanks to him catching the flu.

So, it’s just me.
Again.

eventually,
i convinced myself to throw on some clothes and head to the store.
as soon as i stepped back outside with my groceries,
i noticed the snow had stopped.
out of nowhere:

BAM…

I haven’t been this shaken by a movie since “Requiem for a Dream”.
There is another one I saw that I don’t know the name but I never forget it either.
That movie dragged me through the trenches of addiction.
The ending of that movie left terrified of ever going there myself.

at 3 a.m tho,
curled up on my couch watching “the substance“,
i found myself stuck in pure horror…

and then running to my bathroom to vomit.
yes,
i threw TF up watching that movie…

“We grieve different.”

some of us are grieving a death.
someone of us are grieving heartbreak.
some of us are grieving unemployment.
some of us are grieving betrayal.
some of us are grieving all of the above.
2024 has been the year we were all unified in grief.
right now,
i’m grieving…

How are vixens getting wet for the males of today?

when i use to hang out with the straights in the 00s-10s,
it was interesting to see them in the hunt.
they would range from fine to average,
but they would all approach vixens they were interested in.
even the finest ones got rejected but 8/10,
they’d end up getting a number.
did the connections work out?
eh,
but they shoot their shots if they wanted pussy.

At least they tried.

nowadays,
the game seems have changed for the worse.
today’s straights have become so bitchy and sassy.
they spend all their days want to physically show strength,
working out for days on end to build testosterone,
only to be narc bitches for socials.

“Show me the last seflie you took.”
“Show me the last picture you took that got a lot of likes.”
“Show me the last time you complained how lonely you are.”

i saw this clip on twitter that represents dating in 2024…