i been thinking that if everything that has happened these last 3 years,
even if i thought it was so negative,
was actually part of God’s plan?

this time last year of june 2025,
in about a month,
i was gonna come where i am now for a BBQ.
i didn’t want to come but something urged me to go.
when i left here that night to go back to new yawk,
i have on video telling my friend i was gonna live here.

“i don’t know how,
but i’m going to live here.”

and even though this transition wasn’t ‘a walk in the park…

one of my biggest regrets is not seeing “sinners” when it was in theaters.
i missed an important cultural moment due to finances.
i feel the same about not seeing “weapons” either.
“sinners” was sooooooooooooooo good:

i think i’ve seen that movie over 20 times now.

…and every single time i watched it,
i saw or heard something new even if it was minor.
that being fonted…

did the Foxhole tune into the “state of the union address” last night?
so my thoughts?…

i think i finally learned how to pray and have faith correctly.
it was always:

“God, I need this to happen.”
“God, I hope he wants to be with me.”
“God, Ima need that lottery win STAT.”

it came from a place of lack.
2025 was the year of the pivot for me.
so many things happened that i didn’t see coming.
and because of that,
i had to rearrange my life to suit the sudden changes.

as you know,
or maybe didn’t,
i didn’t think i’d be losing my home.

so for the last day of 2025,
i spent it with myself.
i chose myself because i’d have to learn to chose myself.
i made another decision that i’m not going to ask or beg God for what i need anymore…