So You Got Smashed By Your First Celeb? (OMG!)

Andrew_Collins__why_so_many_standing_ovations_at_the_Oscars_actor!
singer!
baller wolf!
an online attentionisto!
“mr popular” around your way!
congrats are in order!
…but now you want to tell the world.
*crickets*
yeah.
so this is NOT what to do…

1) the waiting game

so you think because you got fucked/fucked by someone in the spotlight,
your booty/pipe/coochie is on fleek.
you feel like stardom is in your future.
so you want to tell us all the deets…
on a later date.
um.
no we want to hear it now.
you dropped your accusations today,
we want a full scoop today as well.
not next week,
two weeks from now,
or in a month.
ima have something to do…
and you gonna be old ass news by then.

2) so whats next?

i’m sure it was good right?
you can’t wait to talk about it.
so he fucked you like an animal in heat,
every position known to man,
and came on any place you had skin.
sounds like a good night.
so whats next?
did you get any money?
is he paying your bills?
put you up in a condo?
…or did you wake up the next day and go to your 9-5 at target?

tumblr_m7he65qdua1r5o8k4o1_500…please tell me you at least got some gum?

3) “i don’t know him”

we don’t really care about the person who fucked chris brown.
or august alsina.
or trey songz.
or dez bryant.
or kellon deryck.
or victor cruz.
or george hill.
or…
the list goes on.
i’m sure they all fucked someone(s) last week.
maybe even right now.
we care about the person who was raped tho.
abused.
almost killed.
that who we,
as the public,
give a shit about.
sure we wanna know how good the stroke game beez like,
so we can try it out as well,
but you can only tell that story one time before it gets old.
starts to stinkin’,
where is superhead right now?
Lookingoh  wait…
you thought we gave a fuck about you?
enough to become your own star?
omg thats so sweet!
awww.
listen baby…
we made the mistake with kim kardashian.
we ain’t doing that again.

kim-kardashian-dickum…
sorry kim!

4) go hard or get destroyed

when you are a vixen,
you can expect more dick and thats it.
when you’re a man/or use to be a man of any kind,
unless you come with some hard evidence,
you are pretty much through in this town.
also be prepared for your business to suddenly come to light.
you know…
like your mugshot when got arrested for stealing pop tarts.
or…
all the people you did wrong and were waiting for their retribution.
maybe even…
all the petty crimes you have done throughout the years.
see when you stuff like this,
it comes full circle.
when you expose a huge star,
their fans and stars will be like vultures circling above.
they will make sure they have all the evidence they need to destroy you.

shut-this-down-liveven olivia pope will be on your ass.
so think about all of that before you go running that mouth.
you successfully went and got chu some celeb pipe.
*hi5*
now leave it for your memoirs.
k?

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

4 thoughts on “So You Got Smashed By Your First Celeb? (OMG!)

  1. #agreed If you got some celeb goodies, SHUT THE FUCK UP! If you were of a consenting age, weren’t drunk/high, and weren’t drugged and/or raped, then you made an ADULT decision. Live with it. Reside in your truth. Be about that thotlife. If you weren’t just a jump off, we wouldn’t even be having this discussion.

  2. If i got some celebrity pipe the only person who would know is myself..I’m a vault i have secrets about myself, and countless friends, family and etc that i refuse to dispel…i’m the type of fox that when my wolf comes around me, no matter hw strong or masculine he is…he feels warm, safe and secure with me so i know if i did catch a celebrity they would be back for seconds, and thirds but the problem with these vixens and foxes is that they fall in love and think the celebs owe them something…SN: i LOVE the Aaliyah GIF…god i miss Li-Li in the music industry and that Kim K shade had me dying lol

  3. ^Malcom, we think alike. No one would know if I messed with a celeb. My business is MINE…and I don’t like people all up in my business. LOL

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