“the ugly friend”.
we have one.
we maybe one.
its usually a person who isn’t physically attractive.
they always tend to hang with a posse of good looking people.
they also can sometimes can be “the hater” within the group.
come “going out” time,
its usually the same story.
as their good looking counterparts are getting attention,
they are left to hold the drinks or be wait in the car.
i can see why the “the hater” tends to come out heavy.
well its funny how being discreet or dl can be similar to “the ugly friend”…
so i went out with a home-vixen after work yesterday.
we did some light shopping and the we hit up a restaurant.
sidebar: light shopping to me is one item.
maybe two if i’m feeling frisky.
anyway when we were leaving the restaurant,
this fione wolf walked past us with his friend.
i peeped him first.
i always see the fine wolves first.
its a gift god has given me.
well he saw me and we looked at each other for a hot sec.
“damn he is fine.” my home-vixen said out loud.
…so she kept checking him out.
a luxury vixens have.
since i’m a fox,
i try to keep my eye contact to a minimum in public.
unless you wink or head nod me during a stare down,
i admire but i respectfully keep it moving.
as she was checking him out,
i noticed he was doing the same.
thats when he smiled at her and then walked over to us.
taking the role as the “ugly friend”,
that was my cue to wait over to the side.
i stood there and scanned him up and down.
he was definitely “the fantasy” in my eyes.
he was “meat” i would post.
i would search for his gram if he popped up on my tumblr timeline.
he was FIONE.
he also had bawdy.
not too big.
not to small.
you could tell he worked out and taking his shirt off would be a problem.
he was light skin and he had clear skin.
his hair was cut in a fade and he was rockin’ a trimmed beard.
he made me horny.
good enough for me.
“i talk to cute wolves,
but he was beyond cute.
i am so nervous.
i never had a fine wolf like that before…”
i gave her a little pep talk to motivate her.
she calmed down and we left to go our separate ways.
on the train home,
i thought about something.
as gays/bi/tri who live a discreet or dl life,
we will always take the role as “the ugly friend” with vixens.
as they meet the wolves we all fantasize about,
we are left wondering:
“When will it be my turn?”
our way of meeting wolves is completely different than vixens.
as i despise the “fuck shit” of the gay night life,
and social apps are just tools to hook up,
i dream of meeting a wolf like a vixen.
instead of watching from the background and jackin off when i get home.
some of yawl say “fuck that” and go jack off in a public place.
i see you.
as i thought about my vixen friend and her new friend,
it made me feel more lonely than i ever felt.
i wished it was that easy for me.
being able to walk out the door and get holla’d at by “a fantasy”.
how would i act?
would i be shy?
do i have to worry about “ratchet jamari” showing his ass?
i even thought about work wolf and realized thats definitely not guaranteed.
that whole situation is one mind fuck after another.
i want to be over him,
but its like…
yeah its not easy.
i deserve wolves who will be all over me.
the type of wolves that acknowledge me and are attracted to me hard body.
ones that will make me question where my morals are.
you know those types.
“the ugly friend” is not who i am.
i’m tired of being alone or being forced to decipher signs.
i want more.