Pulling Myself Out The Work Wolf Quicksand (Slowly)

tumblr_static_9tn5fot65ow8g4o480gsswgooyou ever just came full circle with a situation you were dealing with?
like…
you finally had your legit “a-ha” moment?
well i think i’m coming to that point with work wolf.
it could be just “today”,
or it could be the wake up call i needed…

so he met me for lunch today.
since he met this new vixen,
he has been trying to juggle time between me and her.
yesterday was all about me.
today is all about her.
we texted briefly today.
not like all day yesterday.
so i remembered what the foxhole wanted me to ask him.

“What are you looking for?”

i trusted the foxholers that suggested it.
it felt like it was the perfect time so i did.
in the line at subways.
it was pretty long and we had a while.

“i’m single.
so this is what single wolves do.
talk to this vixen and that one.”

he said some other shit,
but it made no sense.
i guess he was trying to justify all this fuckin’.
as he rambled,
i noticed how unsure he was.
i called him out about it.

“why do you not seem so sure?”

he started talking in circles.

“well ya know…
because…”
tumblr_meulrezeUy1rzkcpv…and that was it.
subject change.
maybe i didn’t ask it right?

as i was standing in line with him,
i started to feel completely over him.
my attraction felt like it was dying.
i’m not going to be fighting for attention from a “?”.

does he want me?
or this hoe?
or me?
or her?
or them?

it seems like a dead end.
a game i can admit that i am addicted to playing.
i like the attention he gives me.
i hate having him on my mind so much.
i’m too good for this.
i’m too cute for this.
my style is too fly for this.

tumblr_m3xbur4Ade1qaf90uo1_250…and lets say this “happens”,
is he really a good wolf?
he has admitted that when he gets bored,
he starts to look elsewhere.
is he someone i could date?
he hasn’t been in a relationship past a few months.
hell can he even fuck?
well they come back for more so he must be good.
if he treats vixens like kleenex,
then what makes me think he will treat me good?
like a prize?
he does these little things right now,
since he values our friendship,
but things change when a dick gets in you.
it shifts your perception of the person.
either it makes you a complete fool or you go “eh”.
this is for the giver and receiver.

i don’t know.
hell i don’t even care if he texts me tomorrow.
what gets me is that right after that conversation,
shortly after when i said i wanted to buy underwear and wife beaters,
he finished my sentence before i could.

“i’m going…”

…and then caught himself.
legit:

tumblr_mjj6uxo8co1qaf90uo4_250…and he responded back very nervous.
he always does that shit.
i’m tired of that shit.
i’m tired of these games.
its one thing if you are a dl and you tell me you’re bi.
i’d be stupid to be jealous.
hell i may want you to fuck a vixen as i watch.
this is different.
either say something to me or let this go.
i can handle being friends.
i love his friendship,
but what i can’t handle is this back and forth ofΒ  a “possibility”.
i guess in a perfect world?
this could all be so easy.
when we were parting ways,
i asked him what he was doing tonight.
now earlier he was extra secretive,
but then he finally admitted:

“hittin the gym and then a lot of fuckin…”

…as he walked away smiling.

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legit:

tumblr_m5v70iKuTZ1qaf90uo8_r1_250i hope i can get over him fast enough.

lowkey: he wanted to go out tomorrow,
but i feel like i want to cancel on him.
i dunno…

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

26 thoughts on “Pulling Myself Out The Work Wolf Quicksand (Slowly)

  1. There it is… That “Ah-Hah” moment I have been praying would happen.

    Now comes the hard part… Staying the course.

    Stay strong! We all have ur back… And shoulder to lean on.

  2. Yeah it’s starting to sound like the allure is wearing off. It seems like he doesn’t want to think about why he fucks around so much. At least you ask him some questions that not only made him think but you as well.

    Also be careful I’ve fell in this trap before with my wolf “friend”, where I’m thinking the feelings are finally starting to lessen and then he does or says something that starts them back up again😀.

    P.S. “i’m too good for this.
    i’m too cute for this.
    my style is too fly for this.”

    πŸ‘†πŸ½ Preach πŸ™ŒπŸΎ

    Can you make this into a shirt so I can wear it!

    1. ^hell that sounds like a great affirmation mikey.
      it needs to be said every day in the mirror — for both of us.

      and this made him look confused.
      plus i don’t get that he tells the whole truth.
      i’m feeling disappointed.

      1. YES! My wolf “friend” tends to fib about things a lot most to females tho. Like we’re be in my car driving and he’ll be on the phone telling some girl lying about his whereabouts. I just give him the side eye

  3. Finally the still water moment …you can attack him wolf to wolf with no apologies.. %100 I WANNA FUCK YOU TONIGHT WOLF HOWL-OUT..Hell yeah you should go out with him tomorrow/make him pay/use & abuse his dick & roll out..Duces See ya at work style..
    ..

  4. So do you think he is so unsure because he is unsure of his sexuality? Do you think you would ever ask him like conclusively if he may secretely like men? Like i said before a huge part of this back in forth with you is all the ambiguity. If u knew exactly where he is you could go from wherever that is. Maybe yall need a day all to yall self and alone so that yall can lay all the cards on the table. Tomorrow you can make it throw it all out Thursday. Idk.

  5. Jamari I’m so glad you had your a-ha moment cause this dude is ten types of confused about who he is and what he wants to be to honest jamari I still get the feeling he wants you but doesn’t know how to deal with it and don’t have the language to express it that’s why he’s so vague in the language he uses and he’s afraid of being sprung bottom line you hit that spot that no other man has been able to touch and he really don’t know if he wants that so I applaud you for just pulling away because you don’t need that you need a real man who is not afraid of getting what he wants.

  6. I consciously refrained from telling you how to handle the situation because I knew you had to come to the realization on your own. Hell, I’ve been down the same road with men I know like men.

    It takes a while but those rose colored glasses come off and that pedestal you put them on comes crashing down.

    I don’t think he sounds confused at all, he’s more intelligent than you give him credit for. You underestimate him like women underestimate men.

    He knows his treatment of you is ambiguous and he’s basically conveying to you where he’s currently at in life and he’s not going to change until he’s ready to.

  7. As I said before, something is missing. His deflection and subject change only make it clearer.
    Maybe Mister Confident isn’t as self assured as he’d like you to believe?
    It’s like he wants to open up to you but he’s scared/hesitant.

  8. “When someone shows you who they are….believe them” – Maya Angelou

    Jamari I don’t feel sorry for you. He is your FRIEND. Not your boyfriend. You put yourself in this situation. Trust me if he wants to be MORE to you then he will. You have to give him some tough love.

  9. I’ve said it already and i’ll said it again: you can do better than work wolf. I’m glad this is happening. But it’ll be tough to stay the course. Watch he’ll be on some other type sh*t since you’ll be pulling back. Too many games.

  10. Oh yea stop with all the questions. Just be agressive. Get him drunk and grab his dick. If he pushes your hand away then he’s straight. If not then hey…….

  11. Jamari.. babes LET IT GO!!!!!!. It seems like you are waiting and hoping for something to happen. Don’t allow yourself to be in a holding pattern for this dude. Be friends with him but do you live your life. Allot of times we are soo focused on one door waiting for it to open that we don’t recognize that there are 4 other doors behind us already open ready for us to walk through. Love ya man. HUG

  12. I know I posted twice already on this topic.. but what he is doing is what single wolves do everyday.. hit this, hit that, hit dis, hit dat…. He is a young wolf full of hormones. You said you cherish the friendship so why play games with it, get your feelings in check!!!! and stop playing mind games with yourself and him…. just saying.

    1. You deserve better. If he was gay and playing the same games you would have already been gone. Yall have an amazing friendship but he’s sending too many mixed signals.

  13. I myself am guilty of wanting the attention and affections of a so called straight men, currently dealing with a few things with one now who identifies with being straight. It drives me crazy at times but it is easier said than done to let it go. I also had a wake up call about his behavior this week. As hard as it is you got to let it go because these dudes appear to be everything we want but they are mentally weak, they will flake out on you when you really need them. They hide behind their straightness because they cant deal with their true nature. They suck you up into their madness when they see that you are attracted to them, only to keep leading you on with no positive outcome for you. I too am going to repeat these affirmations and know that I am better than playing second fiddle to everything else in his life. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy by not realizing our worth, and not making people in our life respect that.

  14. You kind of have no one to blame but yourself. He said yall are friends but gay guys always want to dig deeper into things that aren’t there. Why can’t you accept the fact he’s straight and enjoys sex without commitment, better to do it single and not in a “marriage.” Your half of the friendship sounds fake because it always sounds like you always held on to the possibility of him fucking you. This man trusts you as a person and a genuine friend so what’s wrong with that.

  15. Don’t play 21 questions with him. A wolf will go after whatever he really wants. If wanted you, he would tell you straight up.

  16. Honestly all of this seems like such a headache. I don’t know how you put up with it but good luck with everything anyway.

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