you ever just came full circle with a situation you were dealing with?
you finally had your legit “a-ha” moment?
well i think i’m coming to that point with work wolf.
it could be just “today”,
or it could be the wake up call i needed…
so he met me for lunch today.
since he met this new vixen,
he has been trying to juggle time between me and her.
yesterday was all about me.
today is all about her.
we texted briefly today.
not like all day yesterday.
so i remembered what the foxhole wanted me to ask him.
“What are you looking for?”
i trusted the foxholers that suggested it.
it felt like it was the perfect time so i did.
in the line at subways.
it was pretty long and we had a while.
so this is what single wolves do.
talk to this vixen and that one.”
he said some other shit,
but it made no sense.
i guess he was trying to justify all this fuckin’.
as he rambled,
i noticed how unsure he was.
i called him out about it.
“why do you not seem so sure?”
he started talking in circles.
as i was standing in line with him,
i started to feel completely over him.
my attraction felt like it was dying.
i’m not going to be fighting for attention from a “?”.
does he want me?
or this hoe?
it seems like a dead end.
a game i can admit that i am addicted to playing.
i like the attention he gives me.
i hate having him on my mind so much.
i’m too good for this.
i’m too cute for this.
my style is too fly for this.
…and lets say this “happens”,
is he really a good wolf?
he has admitted that when he gets bored,
he starts to look elsewhere.
is he someone i could date?
he hasn’t been in a relationship past a few months.
hell can he even fuck?
well they come back for more so he must be good.
if he treats vixens like kleenex,
then what makes me think he will treat me good?
like a prize?
he does these little things right now,
since he values our friendship,
but things change when a dick gets in you.
it shifts your perception of the person.
either it makes you a complete fool or you go “eh”.
this is for the giver and receiver.
i don’t know.
hell i don’t even care if he texts me tomorrow.
what gets me is that right after that conversation,
shortly after when i said i wanted to buy underwear and wife beaters,
he finished my sentence before i could.
…and then caught himself.
…and he responded back very nervous.
he always does that shit.
i’m tired of that shit.
i’m tired of these games.
its one thing if you are a dl and you tell me you’re bi.
i’d be stupid to be jealous.
hell i may want you to fuck a vixen as i watch.
this is different.
either say something to me or let this go.
i can handle being friends.
i love his friendship,
but what i can’t handle is this back and forth of a “possibility”.
i guess in a perfect world?
this could all be so easy.
when we were parting ways,
i asked him what he was doing tonight.
now earlier he was extra secretive,
but then he finally admitted:
“hittin the gym and then a lot of fuckin…”
…as he walked away smiling.
lowkey: he wanted to go out tomorrow,
but i feel like i want to cancel on him.