as of late,
i’ve started to realize something.
after this whole “michael sam” debacle,
what laverne cox said in that article yesterday,
and a comment jay left in the comment box,
i found what i wanted to say…
everyone in this life has this agenda of:
“please accept me”
is it wrong that i think its absolute bullshit?
its like we need someone to come out the closet so it can urge others to come out.
“well if *insert celebrity here* would come out the closet,
it would help others to see blah blah blah…”
my thing is…
has that really worked tho?
michael sam was supposed to be the “masculine out savior”.
the pre-baller wolf who isn’t “the stereotype”.
sure he came out the closet,
but his priorities are not in order.
his career,
which was playing ball,
has now become a joke.
dancing with the stars.
documentaries with oprah.
leaving an actual team for “personal reasons”.
like what?
he showed me that he wasn’t a good baller wolf to begin with.
he also showed me he was all about them lights and cameras.
i don’t look up to him and was never really impressed.
personally i really don’t look up to anyone.
i like certain artists for their talent or how they make me feel,
but i don’t wait for them to say some life alerting speech.
its getting so bad out here that we need pop stars to fight for us.
a damn pop star.
sing,
dance,
toss her hair,
be a diva,
and raise our self esteem too?
people be out here disrespecting lives over a complete stranger.
someone who will block your ass in a moments notice.
once they start to fall off,
or get into some scandal,
we throw them aside and search for a new idol.
its this constant cycle of not being satisfied.
i am a strong believer in learning to accept yourself.
you came into this world alone and will die the same way.
if you depend on everyone to “be your crutch”,
or speak for your sexuality,
you will spend years searching for someone to fulfill you.
thats not how i want to spend my life.
even with the foxhole,
i am not a role model at all.
i’m not perfect and thats perfect.
if everyone would look to themselves,
and see just how powerful they can be,
we wouldn’t need some random to “speak for us”.
you be so into doing your own shit,
what the next person does wouldn’t even phase you.
it would lead to less disappointments as well.
its time to start finding yourself and stop looking for someone else to.
go look in the mirror and accept your damn self.
live YOUR truth.
YOURS.
not anyone elses because they told you so.
you live in your world.
no one else does.
do what makes you comfortable and decorate how you please.
as long as you aren’t harming anyone,
or lying out of insecurity,
then you have all right to do you.
just some thoughts before bed.
honesty can be a crime these days so you might have arrest my black ass.
Same thing i was saying yesterday so i agree.
I just hope this post isn’t a “Black LGBT Guide to Coping With a Homophobic Community.” We should aim for a society where our difference are respected if not understood, and we have a long way to go. Tolerating the ignorance of others does not make any progress at all, neither does ambulance chasing.
Another thing, I feel that criticizing people for coming out the closet is pretty petty. It’s not necessarily about attention whoring, or this “please accept me” mentality, but rather setting certain expectations to others and debunking negative perceptions. But we do have a right to question one’s intentions of coming out.
If you are referring to Michael Sam’s case. My criticism for him isn’t the coming out, its the fact that he DIDN’T debunk any negative perceptions at all, in fact, I feel like he just made things worse with his actions. He seems like an “all talk” type of person. I think a lot of people were saying that he came out, had this platform, and essentially failed. It’s as if he made himself into a spectacle with no substance.
The smart thing for him to do was to establish himself in his career, work hard, and then come out, why? Because, only THEN would he have defied stereotypes, and had a proper platform to speak on, so he could say: “hey, I’m a gay successful footballer, I did it, you can too, HERE’S HOW!” so to speak. He didn’t do that, he came out first, didn’t get drafted, did DWTS, and now we’re not sure of what’s happening with his career in Canada. Its not that he came out, its him that I’m particularly critical of. Anyone can come out, but its almost as if he took it upon himself to be the representative for gay people, and basically has nothing to show for it. I’m not exactly sure of anything that he’s accomplished by doing things the way he did. JMO.
Timing is everything in some cases, especially when you’re in the public eye.
If anything, MS made it worse for any homosexual NFL players in the future.
People will assume any NFL player open about their preference for men will be attention whores that use their sexuality to stay in the headlines but cannot deliver where it counts…on the field.
I get what you’re saying. But these people who put themselves in the spotlight are expected to be perfect because they made themselves look a goodie two shoe on the media. For example: Michael Sam presented himself as a committed, hard-working man who is gay with his long time boyfriend who wants to change the face of football and who’s father abandoned him……. Now his action speak LOUDER than his words cause what had Michael Sam shown? Well, he shown he definitely like the lights and camera and making appearances instead of focusing and being committed to football because at the end of the day this is a career because football only cares about you being a good player, not a celebrity. Through his action he shown he likes to gossips. Y’all remember he talked about DL football players and other things. Maybe less on gossips and more on being that committed, hard-working man who is trying to change the face of football and sports as a whole.
My thing is if you present yourself as a bad boy then everyone will expect you to be bad, but if you show yourself as a good guy, America sweetheart, and an angel then people are going to expect the goodness out of you. Lazy, running away, and flip flopping is not good at all.
This reality is representative of when you have an entire society that has placed value in the superficial. People are not taking the time for character building. Everything people are searching for is outside themselves. Thats why they look to these celebrities to model their behavior after yet dont understand these celebs are probably the worst to look up to. Many of these celebs are a total and complete wreck in their private lives, however their occupation calls for them to present an image for the public yet it is not the reality. Just like the trannys or DL dudes, presenting an image however the true reality is the exact opposite.
We also have to understand that some peoples agenda appears to be for acceptance when its goal is really preference. People like laverne cox dont want just acceptance they want a total reconstruction of reality so that their reality becomes dominant. Why else would she want a celebrity to come out. Why not just simply say men who love trannys should be open and make it inclusive. No different from michael sam or other athletes that have come out. Getting praise for their sexuality which has nothing to do with talent or exemplary character.
Its just too much fake shit goin on, misrepresentations of sexual orientation, gender, race, relationship status, and friendship. Too many people with a goal that is self serving and not self sustaining because it is not backed by anything with depth and actually backed by lies. Also the real people dont take a stand. We are too busy playing nice and not trying to hurt feelings. Well fuck that shit, sometimes for the truth to soar freely its gon have to be some hurt feelings.
When people start telling the truth and believing it no matter how hurtful or uncomfortable thats when shit will change. We will be able to tackle the issues because we will be able to identify them and honestly deal with them. Then and only then will we be able to get better personally and and as a society and be able o accept each other and ourselves.
I like you. Lol
We’d definitely rub some people the wrong way lol
Preach the word Jamari. People want acceptance so bad these days from people who do not care about them in the least bit. It makes me wonder how they were raised to be honest.
Jamari- You celebrate attentionistas. But, you have been down on Michael Sam since day 1. Im not saying he deserves special treatment. But why hate on his hustle and nobody else’s. Dude has stretched his 15 minutes into a solid week and half. Who else that got drafted and then cut his year have we even heard from since? If Kim K can get rich from taking Black dick why can’t Michael Sam get some coin for giving it? I count it as a victory for inclusion that gay men can be as famous for nothing as everybody else.
^equal opportunity fox.
i have celebrated and dissed michael sam.
i have also done the same with the:
straights
attentionistos
celebrities
Sorry. I must have missed the post where you praised Michael Sam.
Jamari, if anything you were probably the most balance when it cam to the MS coverage.
You wanted him to succeed, but you called it like it was.
I just felt that some gays were a little relieved the this whole situation fell apart just so they can feel better about their own securities.
Seems like a weird way to gauge progress, but different strokes.
This is an important message I want to come across in a lot of my comments.
In essence: “Do you boo, do you” Life’s too short to worry about what other people are saying and thinking, generally, if you’re not hurting anyone and you’re happy, that’s the way life should be.
WE as humans complicate our lives so much that we forget how simple things should really be.
Just keep it simple, and keep it moving.
I don’t get why people look up to celebrities and stuff for things other than fashion and entertainment. last time I checked most of them aren’t humanitarian or human rights activists, so let them stay in their lane. Not many are worth listening to IMO. Most of them have garbage opinions and pretentious attitudes with the impressions that “their opinion is important and it matters” well no, it doesn’t, and you’re not smart, please sit down. LOL! So I just do my own thing!
^also you can’t really trust them because many of them get paid to do what they do.
so as much as we think they are “#teamUS”,
is it genuine?
for a pay check?
to get more fans?
people forget there are humans who take and send naked selfies,
make sex tapes,
and do other shit that could destroy them/their careers.
@Dignified & Jamari…you both make great points. As Dignified said, do you! Don’t try to live your life trying to emulate others. You will fail miserably. Many people who live these flashy, showy lifestyles are putting on a show anyway, living above their means. Trying to keep up with the Joneses is not something that I aspire to. I live my life the way I choose to, not because of some entertainer or athlete says I should do this or that.
And to piggyback off Jamari’s comment, most of these entertainers and athletes are looking at ways of self-promotion, so most of what they say or do is done to keep themselves in the spotlight. Not necessarily thinking before they say or do something, it’s only when they receive the backlash do they offer an apology (or something like an apology).
It’s hard for me to explain at this moment, but I think people just want a feeling of belonging. They want to feel that there is a place in this world for them. Why can many people have advocates where they can be more themselves while others have to try to figure things out alone?
On the Michael Sam debacle, society needs to be in a place where people can simply be who they are instead of making personal revelations to the public, but that will take work…
^the whole “im coming out the closet” dog and pony show has always been an attention stunt.
it sells magazines and boost ratings.
we the public eat it up because we want to be in the business.
i love how jodie foster has been out the closet to her closest friends/family and remained under the radar.
I respect her decision.
Yeah I think a lot of people tend to forget that these stars are people and make mistakes just like we all do. I don’t look to anyone to be an example of how I should live MY life, once you start doing that you’ll have to accept the fact when that person disappoints you.
^sooo agreed mikey!
what someone else does in THEIR LIFE may not work out in YOURS.
celebs have “yes” people around them.
If they want to come out as a “transchicken”,
as long as the money is coming in,
the people around them will do what they say.
I really want people in this life to stop looking for a savior.
be your own damn savior.
get yourself to the next level by hard work and determination.