His Phone Told Me All I Needed To Know About Him

when i saw his phone the last time we saw each other,
i already knew the answer.
the screen was cracked the fuck up,
chips was missing
from the armor,
and it was completely broken down.
i asked him:

“omg why does your phone look like that?
it never looked like that when we hung up.”

he didn’t answer.
he knew the answer as much as i did too.
he always had a phone case and screen protector.
he actually gave a fuck about those things when i was in his life.
when we were together

i had him looking good.
i picked out his clothes and had him looking swagged up.
there was things that would enhance his look that he fought against,
but when he did followed my suggestions,
everyone commented on how good he looked.
vixens wanted to fuck him.
i basically had him looking like the wolf i would date.
that was the problem right there.

I had him looking like if he was mine.

during that short time as “friends”,
he was interested in getting his life together.
i activated that within him.
he saw how i carried myself and wanted to do the same.
once he ghosted me with the worst cold shoulder i ever experienced,
he started to make a ton of mistakes.

it started with everyone suddenly knowing his business.
he ran his mouth to all the big mouths.
suddenly,
he had every kind of rumor.
liar liar,
the “prize” he always chased,
was the first telling his business.
it trickled down into material possessions.
he bought things to try and impress others.
with that,
it came more bills and regrets.

when a foxholer named blum,
left this comment in the entry about “dear white people”,
it left me with thought:

I wanted to relate to Troy the most in the beginning. The ambitious, charming type that seems to be in the up-n-up.
That’s the type of person I always wanted to be and surround myself with. But then, I realized I was Coco:

Insecure, but strategic and the real power behind the throne.

How many of us sacrifice our own intellect and ambition propping someone else up because they are the ideal figure we want to be, but in reality, it’s all a facade.
Troy.
was.
nothing.
on his own and clearly was operating under the auspices of Coco who just wanted him to be successful and she put her ambitions on hold for that.

Story time: I’ve spent several semesters trying to aid this guy at my school, helping him with assignments, his own Greek career and his extracurriculars which have poised him as a big guy on campus and awarded a huge student leader award.

And I did it because I liked him, but In reality, I was just an assist. There was no commitment back. I can’t even get a response text now and I realize that all of that wasted time I should have been investing in me.

For those progressive and ambitious Coco’ s out there, please, do it for you. Do not sacrifice any of your time and effort building a champion. Be your own. Too many lost dreams are lost because we set them sail on the wrong ship.

   that was like me.
i was lionel and coco,
but in another lane.
i was so busy trying to build someone up who didn’t appreciate me,
that i completely lost myself.
work wolf benefited when i was there.
i saw a “champion” in him.
i saw someone who was lost and just needed a little guidance.
i should have seen the truth.
i saw me but in him.
the truth is he never saw himself the way i saw him.
he was always trying to impress everyone else,
and be what he thought they wanted him to be,
that i would never move past those insecurities.
i realize i will invest all that energy in me now.
i’m not building up another wolf again unless we are together.
ironically,
his new alleged vixen’s phone screen is cracked the fuck up too.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

9 thoughts on “His Phone Told Me All I Needed To Know About Him

  1. “Comes out of lurking mode” Stop speaking my freaking life!

    R you a Virgo??? Because us Virgo have the tendency to see the “Champion” in people who clearly don’t give a fuck about us. We need to stop that behavior. It’s a blessing and a curse to be so emotional, sensitive and caringl.

    1. ^its destructive in a whole.

      you spend your life building someone up to be let down.
      i don’t ever want to feel like that again.
      i encourage the foxhole not to do it no matter how attracted you are to him.

  2. I guess we all are Coco because this post speaks to my soul. About my past mistakes and how I need to build myself up they way I’ve tried to build others.

  3. The funny thing is people like us (The Cocos and Lionels ) tend to see the potential and skill in others (i.e. our Work Wolf or Troys) but can’t seem to see it in ourselves to know we deserve better and we don’t have to give our all to this person( that we are usually attracted to) until its too late.

    The thing is these types of people can sense the attraction or feelings you have towards them and are able to use it to their advantage. They’re used to having people build them up or them giving 10 percent while the other is giving 90.

    Look at Troy from the show he knew Coco wanted more from him then just a screw but he kept her around because she stroke his ego same with Lionel. I think on some subconscious level he picked on the crush he might have had on him ( just like i’m sure he did with his first gay roommate) and waited until the perfect opportunity to ask him that favor in the restroom.

  4. Here is the reality of it all. You all know we ain’t shit for awhile. But yet you think we are going to magically wake up and be that ONE you see the potential in. We drop signs all throughout the “relationship” but many of you choose to ignore them.

    Don’t beat yourself up or change your kind hearted ways because all that does is mess it up for the real one who you are preparing for. Just take the blinders off sooner and trust your gut.

  5. This is so surprising to me..I guess I like myself a little too much. No way am I taking care of a man.He had better have his stuff together to even attract me,other wise I don’t have time..I am not judging, I just don’t understand it. We are both men!

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