Not Feelin’ The Funk

tumblr_mhb1uwX9eH1rbr986o1_500so i said when i started this site,
i was going to be honest about things i go through.
i would never out anyone i was dating/fuckin’,
but my struggles was up for grabs.
if you gonna love me,
you gotta love ALL OF ME as well.
the good.
the bad.
the ugly.
the funky?
since a majority of men lurk in the foxhole,
there are some things we DON’T talk about that we should.
plus i never know who is suffering in silence,
needs their “a ha” moment,
or should be aware for future sake.
now before i get into this entry,
i need to put up a disclaimer:

i am a very clean person
i am not sexually active at the moment

okay cool.
i am also prepared to be judged,
but it’s whatever.
don’t judge me like things can’t happen to you as well.
so lets get into it…

so for the last couple weeks,
i have been having this funky smell coming from my…
special place.
okay.
my dick.
it has had me worried like hell.
as the weeks go on,
it has been getting worse and worse.
it made me feeling unclean and embarrassed.
literally trying to mask the odor with cologne or bathing 3 times a day.

tumblr_m0s3v2w6L51qbpy9wyeah.
i was od.

so last night after work,
i headed to a duane reade and asked the pharmacist what is happening.

“hmm.
does it itch?”

“kinda.”

“what does it smell like?”

there is a vixen at my job and daily,
she legit smells like a fish factory.
like STINKS.
it kinda smelled like her,
which made me feel insecure,
but it also smelled different as well.
it was a weird pungent smell.

“could be a yeast infection.
that is usually the start of it…”

3812932-7690341246-2wcnz“a yeast infection?
i thought vixens only get that?”

“nope.
men get that too.”

she handed me a box of miconazole,
a “vaginal” anti-fungal cream,
and told me rub it around the head of my pipe for a week.
twice a day.

13.99.

okay cool.
when i got to the hood,
i went to the hood pharmacy and picked up:

epson salt
dettol
baking soda
anti bacterial soap

20.05

i was horny and decided to jack off when i got in the crib.
ya’ll…
the smell got WORSE.
by this time,
i am damn near worried.

“will i ever mess with a wolf again?”
“will i have to drown myself in cologne?”
“will people be talking about me?”

gFMhfi don’t want to be that guy.
stinkin’ up the joint.

i ended up using all those items and soaked in a hot bath.
as i sat in the tub,
i tried to get the smell off my mind,
but i couldn’t.
it was strong and daily,
i could faintly smell it through my clothes.

when i got out the tub,
i rubbed the anti fungal cream over my pipe.
i also took two benadryls in case i had an allergic reaction.
i couldn’t smell it anymore once i did that.

i ended up calling a straight wolf i know.
one who i know would not be immature or an asshole.
i didn’t want to call a vixen because you know how they get.
we fall out,
i’ll hear:

“AND THATS WHY YOU HAD A STANK DICK MUTHAFUCKA!”

nene-neck-roll-gif…even with some of these “perfect” gays as well.
which would require me to knock heads off shoulders.
i decided to save myself the future drama and lawyer fees.

“yo that happen to me before.
when i went to the doctor,
they told me that was the first sign of my diabetes.”

wait.
hold up.
now i didn’t even know he had diabetes.
i was really starting to worry.

“let me ask you a couple questions…
have you been sticking your dick in questionable pussy?”

i already knew the answer to that.

“no.”

“okay good so that rules out any stds.
are you drinking more than usual?”

“no.”

“hmm.
well does diabetes run in your family?”

“yeah.
my father’s side.
he also had it.”

“well when i went,
they gave me this one pill and it cleared all that up.
they told me i had a yeast infection as well.
now don’t get into your usual ‘freak out’ mode.
let me ask you one more question…
have you been taking anything medicine?”

“yeah.
this medicine from the dermatologist.”

“whats it called?”

“doxycycline hyclate.”

after a long pause…

“well my shit is telling me that the side effects of that is yeast infections.
so that could be it.
stop taking it and see what happens.”

after i got off the phone with him,
i decided to sniff around and see what i found.
that medicine has given people yeast infections.
men included.
i felt kinda relieved,
but i still felt nervous about the possibility of diabetes.
worse case scenario and i do,
will this affect my life in the worst way?
i don’t even want to put that energy out there,
but i won’t lie and say that i’m not terrified.
i’ll keep on applying the cream and watch it for the week.
i also won’t masturbate as well.
fainti woke up today and the smell was gone so that’s a good sign.
if i don’t see any results,
i’ll book a doctor’s appointment next week.
i have this fear of the doctor after what happened to my parents.
i don’t want to hear bad news,
but i don’t go,
how will i know not treat the issue?

lowkey: thank you all for reading.
i wasn’t going to write this,
but hell,
i have no shame so why get it now?
you never know what people are going through until they talk about it.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

32 thoughts on “Not Feelin’ The Funk

  1. Jamari,

    My cousin in Detroit right now is going through a very depressive stage. He is 36 and a diabetic has had multiple amputations within the last year and is trying very hard to cope with things. For our people, it is always so important for us to take care of our bodies and go to the doctor if and when we can. IMO, we are the most beautiful human beings on earth, yet we die so young, when it comes to matters of health and fitness. It’s natural to be afraid or feel scared, but I sincerely hope that everything works out well.

  2. Damn Jamari. But I had a minor form of yeast infection called the jock itch during the summer because tight underwear and hot weather does not mix.

      1. Itching that spread around my crotch area then in between my cheeks which was the worse because it was hella itchy there. And I had these little patches in a crowd that look like dried skin. The doctor said they were fungus or something because of the heated, moisture air in my underwear was producing. She prescribe me some cream and told me to make sure my crotch and ass stay dried at all times

    1. Yeah I’ve had jock itch before, that shit was no fun. The skin where I had it was red, itchy, and scabby. I had to go to cvs and talk to a pharmacist and get a cream for it. It was super embarrassing

      1. ^mikey i was embarrassed last night lol
        I never thought id ever find myself in the feminine hygiene aisle.

        well there was that one time I bought summer eves thinking that’s how men clean themselves out for sex…
        lol

    1. ^thanks Sam!
      that was the purpose in this.
      in everything I write.
      you guys leave such inspirational comments that have helped me and others.
      I have no shame in spilling my own dirt because life isn’t always a rose garden.
      … the jokes can write themselves with that last sentence lol

  3. First, I will say I appreciate your honesty Jamari. I’m sure it took a lot for you to admit that. It most likely was the medicine you were taking, especially if it has a history of giving people those types of infections.

    1. ^it sure did man!!!

      i wanted to write about it earlier last week,
      but I was really embarrassed.
      hell I was wondering if people could smell it as well.
      it was a really tough time for me mentally.
      the job stress and then this in my foreground as well…
      not a good time to be me right now lol

  4. First of all
    Be Positive and don’t think the worst.You are blessed because you have insurance.Over 40 Million Americans are still uninsured despite Obamacare.
    Before you go to the doctor make a list of your symptoms.Besides odor, do you have discharge,rash,redness,cloudy urine,etc.
    Also make a timelime of the symptoms.
    Don’t forget to mention to the doctor the stress you have been under related to your job.Mental stress affects physical health.Depression,anxiety can affect your physical health.
    I have go to work today but I will check back later.
    Like I said earlier you are fortunate you have access to medical care.Use it
    Stay positive

  5. Men can get yeast infections too. Your crotch needs to breath so at night don’t wear underwear. You are in clothes for the most part of the day and your crotch isn’t getting any airflow. So at night take off them undies and breath. Coconut oil works wonders for a yeasty crotch as well as plain yogurt too. The medication your were taking for your breakouts got your flora out of balance and has caused an over growth of bad bacteria. Get your gut flora back in balance and that should be the end of it.

  6. It’s real simple and easy Jamari. Go to a health food store or a GNC and pick up some good probiotics. The meds you were taking for your breakout did what it was supposed to do which was to get rid of bad bacteria but in doing so it nuked your good bacteria as well. Now your gut is out of balance and a yeast infection is the symptom.

    You need to “beef up” your good bacteria with some probiotics. Eat some fruits, vegetables, and get some fiber. Drink lots of water too. Im not saying go vegan but just eat responsibly.

    Yeast infections love sugar. Do not be surprise if your start craving for sugary sweet things. Sugar and sweets will make a small yeast infection bloom into a big yeast infection.

    Coconut oil is good both in the body and on the body. This too will help get rid of an yeast infection.

    But get some probiotics soon because a yeast infection is also a sign of a Candida infection.

  7. Jamari, you are probably like most men, we are all scared to go to the Dr. because first we think we can do it all, and are invincible, and we don’t want to hear any bad news. I got a wake up call at the beginning of the week. I have been putting off going to the Doctor for over 3 months to get a check up and physical because I have been having terrible headaches at work, but I just took ibuprofen and ignored them. I injured myself working out and then I didn’t have any choice but to go to the Dr. this past week because I have been in a lot of pain, I thought I was going to go in and get some muscle relaxers and bounce.

    Well the Dr. delivered some devastating news to me, when they checked my vitals, they found out that my Blood Pressure was so high, I could have had a stroke at anytime, I was literally a walking time bomb and didn’t know it. I am so thankful now that I went, I am now in the process of having multiple test ran to ensure I haven’t messed up my vital organs, which can happen with undetected hypertension. This news has shook me to the core, here I am thinking because I go to the gym and exercise and eat good most of the time that I am okay, but you can look good on the outside and be dying on the inside.

    I would like to encourage all the foxhole readers to get a physical if you haven’t done so, Hypertension and Diabetes are running rampant in our community, and Black men are one of the largest groups who are not ensured and who are suffering from these diseases. Even if you don’t have insurance, please find a clinic or sign up for subsidize Obama care, I have benefits and was not even using them and that’s inexcusable. I am glad I got another chance. Without your health you really don’t have anything, its more valuable than any money or material thing.

    1. ^omg tajan!!!!
      I hope you get better and try not to stress.
      I am so glad I wrote this entry.
      I hope it has helped someone out there!
      I know it’s helping me calm down and feel more comfortable about going to a doctor.

  8. Yeah I had jock itch before. After about a week of scratching myself and feeling highly uncomfortable, I decided to look down there and see what was up. I just saw this red patch and I freaked out! So I did what any other man would do and called my momma (don’t judge me) lmao! In retrospect, I probably should’ve called somebody else, but that was the first person I could think of. She questioned me to the third degree about sex, stds, etc. So I made a doctors appointment to prove my innocence and that’s how I found out I had it. I didn’t know men can catch yeast infections honestly.

  9. I applaud your candor. Most people keep these things on the low and have people walking around clueless! You may have helped more than a few with this.

    1. ^thank you.

      It’s surprising most guys didn’t know they could also get a yeast infection.
      im glad this brought some awareness.
      sadly I was the the one who had to be the test dummy lol

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