so i said when i started this site,
i was going to be honest about things i go through.
i would never out anyone i was dating/fuckin’,
but my struggles was up for grabs.
if you gonna love me,
you gotta love ALL OF ME as well.
since a majority of men lurk in the foxhole,
there are some things we DON’T talk about that we should.
plus i never know who is suffering in silence,
needs their “a ha” moment,
or should be aware for future sake.
now before i get into this entry,
i need to put up a disclaimer:
i am a very clean person
i am not sexually active at the moment
i am also prepared to be judged,
but it’s whatever.
don’t judge me like things can’t happen to you as well.
so lets get into it…
so for the last couple weeks,
i have been having this funky smell coming from my…
it has had me worried like hell.
as the weeks go on,
it has been getting worse and worse.
it made me feeling unclean and embarrassed.
literally trying to mask the odor with cologne or bathing 3 times a day.
so last night after work,
i headed to a duane reade and asked the pharmacist what is happening.
does it itch?”
“what does it smell like?”
there is a vixen at my job and daily,
she legit smells like a fish factory.
it kinda smelled like her,
which made me feel insecure,
but it also smelled different as well.
it was a weird pungent smell.
“could be a yeast infection.
that is usually the start of it…”
men get that too.”
she handed me a box of miconazole,
a “vaginal” anti-fungal cream,
and told me rub it around the head of my pipe for a week.
twice a day.
when i got to the hood,
i went to the hood pharmacy and picked up:
anti bacterial soap
i was horny and decided to jack off when i got in the crib.
the smell got WORSE.
by this time,
i am damn near worried.
“will i ever mess with a wolf again?”
“will i have to drown myself in cologne?”
“will people be talking about me?”
i ended up using all those items and soaked in a hot bath.
as i sat in the tub,
i tried to get the smell off my mind,
but i couldn’t.
it was strong and daily,
i could faintly smell it through my clothes.
when i got out the tub,
i rubbed the anti fungal cream over my pipe.
i also took two benadryls in case i had an allergic reaction.
i couldn’t smell it anymore once i did that.
i ended up calling a straight wolf i know.
one who i know would not be immature or an asshole.
i didn’t want to call a vixen because you know how they get.
we fall out,
“AND THATS WHY YOU HAD A STANK DICK MUTHAFUCKA!”
“yo that happen to me before.
when i went to the doctor,
they told me that was the first sign of my diabetes.”
now i didn’t even know he had diabetes.
i was really starting to worry.
“let me ask you a couple questions…
have you been sticking your dick in questionable pussy?”
i already knew the answer to that.
“okay good so that rules out any stds.
are you drinking more than usual?”
well does diabetes run in your family?”
my father’s side.
he also had it.”
“well when i went,
they gave me this one pill and it cleared all that up.
they told me i had a yeast infection as well.
now don’t get into your usual ‘freak out’ mode.
let me ask you one more question…
have you been taking anything medicine?”
this medicine from the dermatologist.”
“whats it called?”
after a long pause…
“well my shit is telling me that the side effects of that is yeast infections.
so that could be it.
stop taking it and see what happens.”
after i got off the phone with him,
i decided to sniff around and see what i found.
that medicine has given people yeast infections.
i felt kinda relieved,
but i still felt nervous about the possibility of diabetes.
worse case scenario and i do,
will this affect my life in the worst way?
i don’t even want to put that energy out there,
but i won’t lie and say that i’m not terrified.
i’ll keep on applying the cream and watch it for the week.
i also won’t masturbate as well.
i woke up today and the smell was gone so that’s a good sign.
if i don’t see any results,
i’ll book a doctor’s appointment next week.
i have this fear of the doctor after what happened to my parents.
i don’t want to hear bad news,
but i don’t go,
how will i know not treat the issue?
lowkey: thank you all for reading.
i wasn’t going to write this,
i have no shame so why get it now?
you never know what people are going through until they talk about it.