I wrote an entry yesterday about Wolves and their sometime-y aggression.
One of my aces,
Random,
came through and knocked a comment out the park for me.
I love when I read a comment and it makes me tingle inside.
(mind out the gutter pervert)
I like the long hard tingles of inspiration…
To be honest, I know a lot of wolves like this.
They’ll drive a nice car, dress well, and look good every time you see them out.
They pretend to be really confident and seemingly aggressive, so foxes are attracted.
But the real is that they don’t have anything going for themselves.There are few things that turn me off more than a wolf that doesn’t know how to be a man. I’m a hybrid. I take care of business. I support myself.
The only time you’ll see any real vulnerability from me is in a relationship.
I’m known for always working and getting things done and if people didn’t know any better, they would assume I’m a certified wolf.So needless to say, a wolf that can’t at least MATCH my level of drive is going to turn me the fuck off.
If you can’t power drive a career then you damn sure can’t power drive my booty.
YOU FEEL ME THO!
I don’t think these Wolves get it.
I really don’t.
You just CAN’T be just cute anymore.
“Just cute” is so early 2000s.
I need you to be cute, working/paid, and commanding some kind of career.
Nothing says make love to you… with my mouth all night long than a Wolf with goals.
Point taken Vain, but I think that’s an excuse.
I, personally, get tired of black men complaining about how hard it is for black men to succeed.
I’m black. I understand the struggle. I live it everyday.
But is that reason enough for you not to have a career? To not work your way to the top? To be comfortable living beneath the glass ceiling?
I don’t think so.
You make a good point.
I’ve had friends question why I set the standards I do. Particularly in regards to education and career. I was told those standards are too high and for that reason, I can’t be upset that I’m single.
My thing is, since when were these not the most basic requirements? I should have to settle for a man with no education, no drive, and no career simply because that’s what a lot of these wolves out here are offering? No.
That said, in your example, would I date the guy working at McDonalds? Depends.
How old is he?
What else does he have going for himself?
Why is he working at McDonalds? Is he trying to move up the latter and one day own his own franchise?
There are a lot of factors that go into that.
Simply having a “job” isn’t enough.
One thing you learn in business is the effect popular culture has on society and that is why certain lifestyles (ie. Drug dealing) are glorified. Is it right? No. But it’s widespread and affects us all in one way or another.
Thanks Man. 😉
Wow. Didn’t even catch this. Thank you for the shout out Jamari. 😉
I’ve dated all types. Radio DJs. Lawyers. Multi-millionnaire business owners. Preachers. College professors. Believe me brothers with $$$ and high flying careers can be assholes too.
Let me make this easy for you all. Drop all the I want a brother with a high paying job, good clothes, good looks, car etc. You sound like a bunch of superficial ass straight women…and see where they are?
You think black gay men have a hard time finding men? Ask a straight black woman to get some perspective. Game playing happens across all races, economic levels and sexual persuasions.
Here’s my two cents.
Work on yourself. Be the best you can be. Be positive. That’s when you will attract positive people to you. Be open to all types and remember that hottest looking brother may not satisfy you sexually or intellectually. It might be that brother with a little gut.
Also remember a relationship does not make you happy or complete you. If you are not happy with yourself you won’t be happy with somebody else.
Immanuel
http://www.dlconfessionssequel.com
I respect your point of view.
But in my opinion, it’s bullshit.
To me, this is the type of shit that gay men who believe in settling, preach to other gay men. It’s almost to say,”You don’t have a right to expect any of that because I don’t demand any of that,” and I think it’s bullshit.
No one ever said a career was all you needed nor that a man’s money makes him worth dating. That wasn’t the point.
The point was, a man should be a man.
He should be driven.
He should have goals and have a plan to attain them.
He should believe in bettering himself both physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially.
And no, an education wouldn’t hurt.
And yes, a career is a great indicator of someone’s drive.
If you’re 30 years old, still working as a basic cashier at the local McDonalds and have no plans to move up in the company because you’re comfortable with the bi-weekly minimum wage you receive, we have nothing to talk about.
I don’t think it’s wrong for me to want any of that.
I don’t think it’s wrong for me to want someone that’s drive.
Who’s educated or has plans to be educated.
Who has a career going for themselves.
Who pays attention to their body. Exercises every now and again to keep themselves up.
Someone who takes care of business.
Why? Because I do it Monday through Sunday.
And it’s not that damn hard.
It’s strange to me how we are often the first ones to say ‘I give up on this sexuality.’ but anyway… At times I think we forget that we’re dealing with BLACK MEN, one of the most oppressed and discriminated against group in this country. To expect the same type of privilege that allows for a life afforded to our white counterparts is crazy to me. Context of the group you’re dealing with counts.
I recognize that we’re talking about a wolf having the basic necessities to survive. I appreciate a wolf that has his life together, don’t get me wrong. I understand that as long as he’s able to support himself, then that’s what really matters. Where i think we often go wrong is when we correlate his paycheck to the quality of boyfriend he could be. His plan to be CEO of his large company and where he plans to go in life is nice in the abstract. But it means nothing if you value time spent together and intimacy to lay a strong foundation and he spends the majority of his time in the office and you’re left at the mercy of his busy schedule.
Its much easier said than done finding someone with the above qualities. Ive been in this “lifestyle” for over 10yrs (I’ll be 30 this year) and see the same play by play. To add to the above comment, being cute just doesn’t cut it anymore. What happens 20yrs down the road and the looks fade and your left with a 40something that cant even hold a decent convo?
This game/lifestyle is overly complicated for no clear reason. Ive thought about just throwing in the towel b/c at the end of the day, its seems merely impossible to find a decent individual. Those in the “str8” world meet, like each other, and get married. What is the ending for those attracted to the same sex
Just a little food for thought….
Funny how we never put emphasis on HOW one makes their money. They just have to be paid. We glorify drug dealers making easy, abundant money but wouldnt touch the dude at the Mcdonalds drive thru.
Random and the rest of you guys represent the minority. Half of these dudes dont even inquire about ones job or aspirations.
If you need to be more than cute why are these escorts not only surviving, but thriving in this recession? Why are all these average looking late 20s early 30s alone with great careers?
Naw, you just can be cute anymore. It’s a recession, you have to have a good career with some money coming in. Nice clothes, shoes, and good looks does not pay the bills. Good comment Random.