mental homework: (27)

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if i wasn’t depressed already,
then this comment pretty much drove me over the edge.
this is from a reader,
a voice of reason,
in the ” x if i had to mess with a dl… ” entry.
it’s a late one that goes like this…

Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 6.28.10 PMsooooooo….
we’re doomed?

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its like we are guilty by association.
it’s not my fault those messy jackals are the way they are.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

13 thoughts on “mental homework: (27)

  1. I don’t agree, but its an interesting point.

    I don’t think DL men put that much forethought into it. Smart move, but I’ve never encountered a black DL man that messed with nonblack men for those reasons.

    Non black men are more clockable because they don’t subscribe to hypermasculine act straight and gay men put up. Some black men are just forever attracted to the complete opposite of themselves.

    1. I agree with you Jay. Downlow men are concerned about getting booty/dick anyway they can, whether the man is black, white, feminine, masculine. Who wants a downlow man though? At the end of the day, these men usually are not valuable outside of sex, and some are not even valuable at that lol.

  2. Jamari,

    Don’t lose hope just yet! There is a level of anti-blackness that exists among these DL black men, too, and they’ll find any reason to reject the advances of a handsome fox. I learned that the hard way. In law school, I knew this guy was “one of us” and he wouldn’t give me the time of day. I spent countless sleepless night wondering what was wrong with ME. Turns out, he was one of those anti-black DL wolves who thought “black foxes are too much trouble.” Long story short, karma is real and I enjoyed watching his downfall as someone who recently graduated dragged the DL fox and of course he got his “nigga wakeup call” that day. It happens.

    On the plus side, I really believe that these DL men are in the last throes in our community. Think about it. Yes, homophobia still exists but in 2016, why are these “men,” who love shouting about how “real” they are, so worried about what society and others have to say? You cannot be a “real” nigga and care about what others think. If you like dick, cool. If not, cool. Life your life though. You don’t have to advertise it, which is called being discreet. But when you’re on the DL, you’re a lost cause, living a life, and I have no respect for you. Just my two cents.

  3. This will always be a touchy subject in our community because we all have different experiences, but I never had a problem finding a downlow/discreet man. Most guys think of bottoms as hyper feminine jackals who will out you in a second. I’ve learned that guys become comfortable with me because I challenge those stereotypes, and they eventually trust me. But everyone is different I’m just speaking for myself.

  4. It’s an interesting opinion but it’s not one I can agree with. Like Jay and The Man have stated race really has nothing to do with it, and to a certain extent neither does being masculine or feminine. A DL wolf isn’t going to be seen out in public with a twink or openly gay man, no matter the race because then that puts suspicion on them.

    In my experience because I am clockable a DL won’t hit me up unless it’s like the late night am hours or on jack’d.

  5. He does make an interesting point tho, but why you wanna be with a DL wolf tho? I don’t picture you as the type to have hidden relationship nor open ones, but more like private ones where friends and some family members, but mostly friends, know about your relationship.

    Then again another part of me is telling me you’re not so much for relationship, but as a thriller who just wanna have fun with no string attach. Which isn’t a bad thing cause I consider my mom as a thriller too because she has expiration dates on her relationships and if they exceed the expiration date then she is miserable as fuck and have to break loose and disappear for good. Cause no joke, I mean this in the best-est way cause my mom is cool, but you are sorta remind me of her

  6. The whole point of any relationship is to find someone who fits with you and your lifestyle. If two grown men decide to have a discreet sexual relationship and not declare their orientation to the outside world, that’s their business and it is right for them. When you try to mix two different lifestyles or thought processes thats when the drama starts. This whole DL vs Out and Proud argument is just about people trying to fit other people in their lives that dont belong there.

  7. I actually have to agree with this statement. I was dealing with a DL guy once and he basically said the same thing. He would only mess with white guys or Asians because he knew he would never run into them or he didn’t have to worry about his business being out out. He has since opened up more and date some black guys.

  8. I don’t agree with this at all.

    First, those messy queens be the main ones getting with dl men because it’s obvious they’re gay. When you’re a feminine man people assume you’re gay. If you’re sophisticated you don’t seem “easy”.

    The truth is, there’s just more white men available in the US. I don’t think it’ll be that way for too long though.

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