I’m Waiting To Stick This Friendly Dick In Your Friendly Hole

the word “friend”.
we throw it around a lot.
we give it to those who were nice to us for a day.
in reality,
95% of those in our lives are not our friends.
well one of my home vixens is learning that tonight…

she met this wolf a few years ago.
they had an issue where he showed her who he was.
she chose not to believe it.
they stop speaking,
but he comes back into her life recently.
they start talking again.
no sex,
because she wanted to take it slow,
but they going out on different get togethers.
they do make out a few times,
but he was respectful.
he knew what she wanted as far as a relationship,
but under the guise of “friends”,
she started feeling comfortable.


so she goes over to a mutual friend’s crib last week.
his car
was there.
he didn’t know she was coming over.
when she walks in,
he suddenly vanishes.
there was a snow bunny there that she never saw within the mix.
she apparently looked lost as she knew no one.
when she asks where dude was,
everyone was confused af.

“i don’t know.
he was here just a minute ago.
that is his girlfriend tho…” – someone in the crib said.

que the random snow bunny.

now he told her,
as a “friend”,
that he was single and wasn’t talking to anyone.
survey says…


where he went?
you know he left the snow bunny,
who don’t know anyone,
in the crib and ran and hid in his car????
all because he got caught up???
she called me the next day to tell me.

“how could he do this?
he was supposed to be a friend?”

he wasn’t a friend tho.
she said she would give it a week to see if he contacts her.
her coat is in his car.
i already knew that was a done deal.


she called me tonight and was confused.
she kept saying that he was supposed to be a friend to her.
he wanted to fuck and was playing the “friend role” until it happened.

“…but the snow bunny?”

“she was a stand in.
he probably would have left her,
rinse repeat with you,
and then found someone else.”

“you mean to tell me a wold would wait that long,
pretend to be a friend to me,
just so he could have sex?”


what world is she living in?
even in the gay life,
i have been “friends” with males waiting to take me down.
educated or dumb.
suburban or hood.

it don’t matter.
i have males of all positions try me.
even i have thought it with certain wolves i knew.
straight or gay.
there is no friends with a male.
he will wait 20 years for that cooch/bootyhole.
she feels sad the connection ended,
but she will get over it.
it is another lesson for the “life rolodex”.
as far as her coat

he is probably waiting for her to contact him about the coat.
he will hold it hostage so he talk to her about what happened.
he will feed her lies to lure her back into his trap.

26 thoughts on “I’m Waiting To Stick This Friendly Dick In Your Friendly Hole

  1. THIS!! One of my best friends is someone who I met on an app, he messaged me and tried to hit on me initially but I turned him down because he wasn’t my type and too young at the time (He was 17, I was 18). Fast forward to today we’re like besties/girlfriends (and I don’t even use that terminology lmao), granted we have a lot in common so when we go out there’s never a dull moment but I genuinely see him as a friend and don’t ever want anything else to come out of that. He is tall and nice looking (like me haha) but I’m not sexually attracted to him and I don’t even want to think about “going there” with him. Because I see him as someone who I can confide in & be like a brother to me. Sex will just ruin that. Yes many gay guys who I’ve met have had ulterior motives to have sex but not everyone is like that. Period.

  2. lmfao maybe you guys should hang in different circles if the guys are only trying to smash… i have plenty of gay male friends one i’ve known for ten years and he never tried to smash and he told me i was his type. I think gay men sometimes dont set boundaries early on. Even with my straght friends boundaries were set early on from the beginning i would tell them ‘ i dont want to hear you sex stories about beating some pussy up if you’re not going to listen to mine’ and etc. And also where are you meeting them. If guys meeting men on online gay sites then of course they want to fuck cuz the entire premise of the friendship began on a sex site. Of course in every group you’ll have that friend who wants to sleep with you BUT overall if they know they can’t pull no slick shit over on you they wont even try.

  3. First off hey Jamari I’ve been lurking on your blog for a year now its hands down one of the best online, keep up da good work. I had to come out of the woodwork because this post definitely spoke to me.

    Jus recently dealt wit a similar situation. Was chatting wit dis guy for a month and he seemed pretty cool. We met didn’t even mess around jus drank, smoked, played video games, and talked da first time. I’m thinking hey maybe I made a new friend. Eventually we did smash after a couple months (I know first mistake lol) so I said hey let’s be f*ck buddies if dats cool which didn’t seem to be a problem. Needless to say after the 3rd time we messed around I became persona non grata, like he caught amnesia. Ironically at one point he mentioned how he discovered a couple of his “friends” were talking behind his back and jus hanging wit him for his D which of course bothered him. But hurt ppl hurt ppl I guess.

    Guess I’m saying this to say I agree wit u and Jay in dat outside of straight guys and women I probably won’t ever be friends wit another gay guy. Dudes act like sleeper cells for d*ck and a*s out here smh.

    1. ^first off,
      thank you for coming out of lurk to share your thoughts!

      jay was on to something when he said it a few months ago.
      i realized that besides this blog,
      i don’t really have any gay friends with intelligent perspectives.
      you look on ig and see all these gays chillin.
      i gotta ask:

      whats the real story?

      1. The real story is they frontin lmao! Behind all the bathroom selfies, party selfies, and trips to nice bars and restaurants there’s a bunch of drama and foolishness. People jus want to flex on social media to one up one another. Seeing as how a lot of gay men treat each other I’m not inclined to believe all that glitters is actual gold. Most of these dudes are jus in smash cliques that happened to be on good terms at the time of the photo. Maybe I’m being cynical or bitter but I like to think I’m being realistic 😉

  4. When I was younger, a guy pretended to be cool with me for almost a year. F**ked me silly when it came to it and forgot who I was the next day. I mean just that…He completely ignored me.

    I learned my lesson for sure about dudes (people in general). Females can be shady too but let me tell you about these b**ch n*ggas that will go the extra mile to claim ownership of the nookie so as to say they had you. Back in the day, “real men” would go out of their way to show you their affection in genuine interest. Purely good intentions. Enter into this era…Now, we have this new breed of n*gga (non race specific) that is a force to be reckoned with…If you aren’t careful. Charming words can be deceitful…Good looks are often fleeting..

    Now that God has molded me into a more refined individual, my bullsh*t baramoeter is 100x stronger than ever and I stop deadbeats in their tracks or call dudes out on their mess upfront. I went from being a doormat to having ZERO tolerance for BS. Personally, I’d rather be single and content, enjoying life as I go. I’m not wit the lie and drama.

    1. ^YES!!!!!!!!!!!

      you got jai.
      a male with a hard on will make you think you’re Jesus if it will let him fuck you.
      some males got these vixens out here thinking they’re Mother Mary.

    2. My bullshit detector has been on high for the longest. I thank childhood friends for helping develop that. So if people THINK they’re getting over on me, they are in for a rude awakening because I will give you just enough rope to hang yourself. I’ve had guys try to get at me many times. I’ve never been the one night stand type, or the type to just jump in the sack with someone. I have to get to know you before anything goes down. There have been guys and girls that have tested me to the extreme, but I think with the head on my shoulders, not swinging between my legs. Call it cautious or whatever you want, but most don’t stick around for that to happen. Hasn’t fazed me. Just lets me know the type I’m dealing with.

  5. I agree. Women with very high attraction level won’t have much luck with platonic male friends.

    With men I agree attractiveness plays a role, but with the ratio of bottoms to tops you don’t even have to be all that attractive, especially if you packing and are a full top. These bottoms will put a paper bag over your head or just put their face in the pillow and beg you to go to work.

    Gay/bi men can’t and won’t be friends unless they’re completely not attracted to each, same socioeconomic status, and very close to the very same interests and values.

    Anything outside of that is just a waiting game until Mr. Nasty Time.

    I used to hear “that’s my brother” or “that’s my friend”. Trust if their “friend” doesn’t resemble them with their mannerisms, style of dress, demeanor, how they talk that’s a past, current, future fuck buddy.

    NO ONE will wait longer to try and fuck or make a move than a gay man. When you’re dead a gay man will roll up to your casket in a wheelchair and grab your dick talking about how stiff it is….

    1. ^which is sad because i have a hard time making friends.
      if you aren’t doing what the rest are doing,
      then you will more than likely stand alone.
      it’s better because it’s less drama.
      i always tend to make more straight friends than anything else.

      i have come to peace with that.

      1. I’ve had to accept that as well.

        Friendships with straight men are so chill when you have zero sexual intentions. Women are just naturally nurturing and comforting.

        I have no patience funhouse of trap doors and craziness that comes with attempting to befriend gay or bisexual men.

        They’ll inevitably start drama typically associated with a romantic relationship in a friendship if that makes sense.

    2. “These bottoms will put a paper bag over your head or just put their face in the pillow and beg you to go to work.”

      True words spoken. I am guilty of being one of those people who happens to be attracted to their friends as they are to me, but I have never crossed that line with any of them. However, I agree that the only way a platonic relationship can exist is if they are not attracted to one another.

  6. This is why the 5 month role and etc doesn’t work because dudes will stick around just to have sex and move on to the next.

    I had an experience where a dude stuck around because he had a vendetta against me and felt he deserved to shoot a facial because I asked him if he kept his weed clean.

  7. I don’t necessarily agree with the whole “there’s no friend with male” statement. Unless you can go a lil deeper with it and explain more in depth..

    1. ^meaning an attractive vixen cannot be platonic friends with a male.
      unless he is gay,
      it just won’t happen.
      that make will be waiting to shoot his shot.

      if you are an attractive gay male,
      in these days,
      someone is plotting to fuck you.
      there are genuine wolves who come on here complaining about their “friends” in this life.

      if you are two foxes then sure.
      you both want the same thing so the friendship will be genuine.
      star fox and i were platonic and genuine.
      how many times have you heard one wolf trying to turn out another wolf?
      they are supposed to be “friends”.

      if you are a fox and a wolf tho…
      someone is trying to get in those draws if one is attractive to the other.
      my opinion obviously,
      but there is truth in it.

      1. Ohhhh I see. I thought you meant males and females can’t be friends. If the law of attraction applies I see where you’re coming from. I have friends that I’m like DAMN if only we weren’t friends or I wonder if we got really drunk what would happen. I think if the relationship was based on friendship from the jump then it’s possible, but if not then it’s always a possibility it can go there.

  8. I just ran into this situation myself. Knew a guy since middle school. Remembered when he wanted to carry my books and chase me down the hallway but he just never pulled he trigger. Fastfoward 15 years later got back in contact hung out a couple times then finally broke that sexual tension ice. Talking like this shit could have been something and this went all the way left. Kicker is after all these years of what if he couldn’t get his dick to work no matter how hard I tried. Smh. A friend of mine told me I was a last minute resort and he probably wasn’t into me and wanted to fulfill a what if. Smh.

    It was a waste of dick too. Semi limp hard two and half hands with mouth. Who knows what it could have been fully. I can’t

    1. And I’m not even mad at the last resort not into you. Hell im more mad at the prep time I took to be prepared for that bullshit lol

    2. ^i feel like situations like this never work.
      they always end up being disasters in some way.
      it was better in our heads how it should be rather than the actual experience.

      i would be so MAD if the dick was terrible all this time.

      1. Well I’m batting 0/3 with my what ifs. The horror stories I have I’m damn near debating creating a podcast revolving around my horrible sex life.

        You should look into doing somethjng similar as an addition to this website. Never know. You can turn that into a career.

        1. ^id rather write my horrors in books and the blog lol
          I’d even want to go as far as writing a show.
          that is where I want to take this.

          id say do the podcast tho!
          I’d listen!

      2. ^I had a guy that went to high school with me hit on me once, which shocked the hell out of me. He’d done some jail time, and I’d overheard stories over the years from girls he messed with talking about his dick game. Some neighborhood gays were going around telling stories about giving him head while behind bars. I saw him on the corner in front of the store one day after work, and he was looking good with his jail physique. He made a comment about my ass and how he wanted to get up in it, and I looked at him like say what?! I guess he must’ve thought I would’ve jumped at the opportunity, but when he saw my face, he pulled me to the side and was like yo please don’t say anything. I was just kidding, ’cause from behind I thought you was this chick that went in the store behind you. Yeah, ok. Tell that to someone who don’t know any better.
        Never hooked up, as much as I thought about it afterwards. To know that he got down was a real shocker, and exciting. He never showed any inclination that he messed with guys. Found out later that he got caught by one of his kids’ mom banging some dude out. Never saw him again. Heard he was back behind bars though.

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