i’m giving up

i’m giving up.
i think God is behind it tbh.
it has been a long run but i’m tired and im gonna surrender.
i think i found something better

I am done with putting in work just to manifest things.
I got wrapped in a forced life of writing affirmations,
sleep sublimibals,
and trying to watch my thoughts with a fine toothed comb.

…and none of that was working.
it was creating resistance and helping me not have a good night’s sleep.

I remember being a kid and manifesting a Playstation.
I didn’t know HOW I was gonna get it but I got it.

it was easier to manifest when we were kids because we didn’t know shit.
in our imaginations,
we could be or have anything we wanted.
even when other kids told us we couldn’t get it,
we still belived we could and gave them a knuckle sandwich for trying it.

my life has been one of survival and i became jaded growing up.
…but guess what?

Even with all that jaded,
I still was able to manifest things or even miracles.
Once I started TRYING is when I messed up.
When I try to hard,
things never work.
This even includes wolves that were into me.

i’m going back to basics of what works for me.
asking for what i want,
imagining myself having it,
feeling those feelings already having it,
and moving on with my life.
i didn’t write a million affirmations or go to sleep listening to:

“You are amazing.
You are great.
You are going to be rich.

You deserve that baller wolf.
You deserve his BBC down your little nasty throat.”

i went to sleep and woke up to conquer another day.
even in all of my insecurities,
i knew i desevered better and honestly…

the things we want don’t work out because something better is supposed to happen.

so i’m moving on from trying so hard with God and The Universe.
it doesn’t need to be that hard when it wasn’t.

lowkey: another thing i’m doing is getting out of my head.
listening to my heart has been making me feel more peaceful.

4 thoughts on “i’m giving up

  1. Amen.

    I’m learning to accept life as it happens. I cannot stop it. Worrying, stressing, changes nothing but ages me.

  2. I so know where you are coming from. I am glad you are in the happy dappy place, but above all, that you have peace.

  3. Yes surrender those Insecurities to God, do what you can, be consistent and let the rest work itself out.

    1. PeriodT!!

      Affirmations are great for inspiration and motivation to keep you in a positive grateful place but you gotta put in the work and let God do the rest. I’ve put my entire trust and faith in God and my life has been a series of blessings moving from glory to glory since 2020. Yes bad things happen but it didn’t break me and I’m taking the lessons learned and applying to the next. Take a moment to celebrate each win and also learn from each “loss” because it’ll build your confidence muscle. You have everything you need to survive and what you don’t know or have, you can learn and gain.

      I think what you were doing did work because you were broken and you needed to be rebuilt. Now you are strong enough for the next level. Nothing is a waste just building blocks to reach the top. You got this and keep doing what works for Jamari because there is only one you… there is no comparison or competition.

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