after all this fuckin and suckin we do,
when we meet someone we’re 100% attracted to,
we want to show him why we’d would make a good boyfriend.
i mean,
that is the end game,
right?
or,
do you plan on just being a sex addict all your life?
we all want love.
companionship,
and something to finally stick on the wall.
not our inner walls,
but you get the picture.
a vix-bi sent me the following facebook status message.
this is what one vixen would do to keep her wolf satisfied…
ya know,
i want to laugh,
but i won’t.
coming from someone who USE to be like that to males,
i’m here to tell you that is THE WRONG MOVE.
yes,
i am even dragging myself.
now that i’ve seen the light,
i can honestly say that’s “THE STUPID BITCH” movement.
doing all that comes from a place of lack.
we aren’t use to relationships so we do all these “fantasy” things to be chose.
in reality,
that’s not being his “teammate” or “someone who holds him down”.
that is being his “mother”.
no red blooded male wants to fuck his mother.
males want to fuck the hoe tho.
they want to fuck the hoe that makes him feel great and powerful.
he wants to feel like his pipe tastes the best and feels the best.
a male wants to feel like a male.
“fill out job applications when he is sleep…”
“set up a bank account to save to get him on his paws…”
“planning things to keep him out the streets…”
“the one that will make you go from nothing to something…”
doing all that she proposed emasculates males.
we will secretly start to resent anyone who makes us feel less than.
when i was doing all that,
i would feel hurt because i’d get pushed to the side for someone else.
why?
i was building him up for the ones he actually really desired.
usually a vixen OR some male with nothing going for themselves.
like attracts like
water seeks it’s own level
sexuality won’t bend in your favor because you act like the perfect gay/bi
i was making weak males feel like their dicks were made of platinum.
why?
my dick/foxhole is made of platinum and wanted the same in another.
so they would leave me in the dust once “the one in their eyes” showed up.
when those situation didn’t worked out,
and they always never did,
they would come back and be “my bestest” again.
rinse and repeat until i’m ghosted again.
as soon as the right one comes along,
he will dump that doormat for the one of his DREAMS.
he isn’t going to be attracted to us because we damn near babied him.
he will do everything we taught him and take it to the next.
as a gay male,
who use to be a doormat,
i’ve learned to not pamper any other male into being “the one”.
everything should flow naturally when you connecting with someone.
you can IMPROVE your boyfriend,
but you don’t BUILD him.
anyone who you aren’t officially dating shouldn’t get more than good company.
i might even font to deal with a male who already got/getting their shit together.
a lot of these males got severe mommy and daddy issues.
if you have to do that,
he ain’t the one.
lowkey: this also goes for wolves too.
We have got to get out of the habit of blaming women for doing what women of any race do, which is nurture!
The problem comes back to us. Mothers are always likely the nurturers while the father sets the example. If there’s no father or male role model in the picture of course all you’re going to have is the nurturing mother who will probably overindulge the boy to make up for the fathers absence.
I think the reason why a lot of black men have so little regard for black women and find white women more attractive is because they grew up with single black mothers that had to be the sole disciplinarian so they associate black women with being too aggressive.
Black women are damned if they do or don’t. Too nice and they’re spoiling them and too hard and they’re souring them on black women.
A message. I agree with comment 100%.
SOME women can be the mother and the father without being overbearing or aggressive, as you put it. It also depends on the woman as well. Some women do not know how to take care of themselves, let alone taking care of a kid/kids. It depends on the maturity level of the person.
Some women employ the hands-off approach and allow their child to do any and everything. Some employ the disciplinarian approach, letting the child live but taking charge when something inappropriate or wrong happens. Some employ the domineering role, not allowing the child to do anything without their input or participation.
There are no rules to parenting, but there comes a time when you have to realize that you are not helping the child, you are hindering them…especially if you see them doing the same things over and over. It’s not just black women who do this, but this is a forum for mostly people of color, so many of us are speaking on what we know or have seen firsthand. Asian women are overbearing. Italian women coddle their sons just as much as black women do. Rich whites will disassociate themselves/disown their children for next to nothing.
I remember this phase in my young ass life “I’m going to make sure my man is sexually satisfied, I’ll clean and cook for him and all that make sure he knows that I’m there.” All this coddling of grown ass men wears you down as a person especially when they treat you like a doormate or his momma but he can fuck you.
It’s actually really sad that straight women are taught to be maids.
I am little late to this party but my two cent none the less. As someone who has had the opportunity to mentor young men of color, the first piece advice, I always give them is never take anything from woman who is not your mother or family member. You all would be surprise how this behavior starts really young with Black men. I have seen teenage boys have girls buy them Jordan’s, Designer Jeans, and IPhones, and I shake my head in disbelief. It lets me know that it is not only on the men, but women need to teach their daughters better and tell them that a man stands up and takes care of himself. I have seen it so many times when a girl buys things for a boy and he is on to the next girl, they become insane and sadly many grown women display this same behavior. Please do not put that much stock in educated women because many of them love Thugs and will take care of them like a Section 8 Hoodrat. Many Black women settle for any piece of man, even if she has to share him with many others and str8 BM take advantage of the situation. Those women who refuse to put up with the Bull turn to their invisible man “Jesus” and become immersed in church or make their sons their man, thus ruining him for his future spouse. I can name this syndrome from so many women I personally know who have raised their daughters and ruined their sons who go from woman to woman searching for a new Mama.
In my own life, I am so independent, I really do not even like to take anything from dudes even ones I am dating, I never want a pineapple to say he had to do anything for me. I admit, I have went overboard for some dudes, I cared about but they all taught me a lesson because they did not give a flying “F” about me in the end, so at most you are just going to get a dinner out of me if I am interested but see you are playing games, I cut the ties real quick. I have zero respect for a man gay or str8 who can not do for themselves, I will support you 100 percent if I see you are trying to make things better but too many times these dudes want something handed to them, you can tell their mothers have ruined them. I see so many str8 dudes who are straight up BITCHES, and be in their moods and feelings worse than any female or gay dude. The few friends and associates I really mess with have homes, nice cars, take vacations, help their families and are able to take care of themselves without any help from others. Many str8 dudes I know who are doing something are married and need to depend on their spouse to live a good life, got 2 str8 homeboys now who wives divorced them and now they are struggling to make it on their own and then they saddle with child support and are miserable complaining selfish ass pineapples who want to brag on their kids to social media but talk shit to me behind close doors because they have to pay.
Pity for the chick from this post because she is just STUPID!
Man…our community seems so fucked up i want to cry. So much negativity, jealously, stagnation, confusion, and discord. We don’t stand a chance if we don’t come together.
Foxhole, I had to check out her facebook page before I made a comment, from what I see is a st**** young girl with a baby who need help her damn self, that hood love shit!!! Hopefully she’ll get a positive reality check otherwise she’ll just be somebody’s plaything.
If he’s not motivated to do all that shit himself and relies on you to do it he’s a loser.
I feel sorry for black women because the standards for black men are so low at this point.
These black women expect a complete teardown project in men.
The fact is black women are often more educated and earn more than and black men can’t keep up and aren’t attracted to that.
A black woman in grad school with me told me “The best birth control for black women is education.”
When you think about it theres definitely some truth.
Men don’t really go for their equal, especially black men. They want a woman that’s subservient and less educated than them.
^you are absolutely right.
which is why they run to these racially ambiguous hoes who will sell themselves to the highest bidder the moment shit gets rough.
it’s sad,
but black men usually face our karma when the water dries up and we have no one.
all that bad behavior catches up with us eventually.
i feel like we are the only race of males who disrespect our own for another race who doesn’t give two fucks about us.
they only care about milking the black dick dry and the power/money we can accumulate.
Dang, this cuts deep!
A lot of women have a tendency to coddle grown ass men, especially some mothers…and that is setting your child on a course for disaster. They will never learn to be self-sufficient, they will never mature,and they will never leave home permanently. They may go stay with the baby-mama or other girlfriend until that no longer works out…and then they go runnin’ back to mama.
You make a valid point in that men like to go for subservient women. An “educated” woman is a test for them. To see if the can crack the shell and get in that ass. Some succeed, some fail. But some men are threatened by educated women. Shyt, you ain’t got to be threatened…bring yourself up to that level!
“Men don’t really go for their equal, especially black men.”
Carve this in stone and make it a commandment! A lot of black men don’t cultivate themselves beyond their dick game and its pathetic. And I see it with my straight friends regularly. They’ll typically date a chick that’s obviously less intelligent than them and its a pattern. These dudes post “I need a queen” memes all day but its jus lip service just say u need a handmaiden with a phatty and call it a day.
Wow! That’s insane! But what is he doing for you though. She better wise up & stop trying to be that gf. I’m glad all women don’t think like this.
Damn she would do all that shit, but when she cosigns him for a brand new car and find him cheating with another girl and fucks up your credit up. I’ve seen this story playout so many times in the black community
^yup!
low self worth will have you out here looking and acting crazy!
I think men have mastered the game of playing along until they get what they want out of you, and everyone has to be mentally prepared ahead of time so they will not fall for it. I will stand by my man’s side and support him through tough times, but I refuse to be the damn fool having to pick myself up because I let a man manipulate me and my feelings. You have to know when someone is genuine.
^YES!!!
some of these males be on the hustle.
emotionally,
they will hustle you out of goodness.
if you ever notice,
the ones who don’t care as much keep them in check or don’t deal with them at all.
i’m ready and i’ve learned.