33 thoughts on “I Wonder What It Is Like To Have A Boner?”

1. but i loved the replies.
   got my wolves giving me some good responses.
   give yourself a round of applause fellas.
   turned to me on to get that deep in your brain.
   😉

2. wow.
   so here’s what happened.
   i go out today and i treated myself to a movie and lunch.
   in my movie,
   which was amazing by the way,
   my phone starts going haywire.
   i look at it and i see messages from home base aka here.
   “oh boy, i’m in trouble.”
   i’m not going to go into a lengthy discussion.
   or i maybe i should….

   i believe men should be men.
   i also believe men should date men who aren’t lazy.
   no matter what role they are.
   i’m good at what i do and i’m pretty attractive.
   if i wanted a wolf to take care of me all these years,
   trust when i say,
   i wouldn’t have been independent as i am.
   i would have honed my skills to get into someone’s wallet and live happy.
   but, i wouldn’t have been happy because that leads to being controlled.
   jamari fox doesn’t get controlled.
   i choose the life of being an independent MAN.
   i also chose the life of being a bottom, or a fox.

   maybe i wrote my entry in a bad state of mind.
   maybe i went in on launching projectiles to wolves.
   maybe i’m just tired.
   maybe i have a headache and i’m out of pills.
   maybe new york has so many great foxes who work their asses off and have nobody.
   maybe i was use to men asking me to go out and them actually paying.
   maybe niggas got lazy and forgot to send me a memo.

   i’m not evelyn lozada,
   or superhead,
   or draya,
   or lil kim….

   if i’m paying the mortgage to our home; you are paying the car notes.
   i pay the light bill; you get water.
   if you fall, ill be there to pick you up.
   if i fall, i expect that same net in the closet to be under me before i land.
   i’m not looking for handouts,
   but if you ask me out,
   best believe you gonna get the check.
   if i ask you out,
   i may get the check.
   the idea of being a house-husband makes me literally sick.
   i always want to have my own.
   so when his ass acts up,
   i show him the door and resume like normal.

   btw – to the people who said i was being a “woman”.
   i didn’t take it as an insult though.
   my mother was the strongest woman i knew.
   she had my father,
   but she was still out there doing her own thing.
   i know vixens who put some men to shame.
   they have their own apartment, car, and some of them have kids.
   they struggled like hell to get to that point.
   their wack ass baby daddies didn’t provide shit.
   but when the right man comes along,
   he will be just as independent as she is.

   i’m looking for my independent wolf and i’m sorry that is a bad thing.

   1. NOW we are on the same page. I get what you initially said, I just wanted to understand where you were coming from. There is nothing wrong with a yin trying to find his yan! No apologies needed!

      1. ^i really appreciate you all.
         Like, big brothers I’d probably be attracted too but be quiet about it lol

3. …………..

4. Jamari never talks about being bitch. Maybe because he has been a true voice for bottoms who are lost. You dont know how much reading tjis site as helped me. He always talks about being positive, going for yours, and wanting to be with a man who is going for the same goals as he is trying to achieve.

   1. Not even comment on that ‘bitch’ comment.

      I am far from denial.

      I get it.

      Everybody plays a role in their relationship but just because I am a TOP and you are a BOTTOM…Sexual roles…does not mean I used act a certian way just because.

      If we are together in one home. We split everything. If I gotta work or go to school, you will be doing that as well. What I lack, you make up for.

      I cook, I clean house, I maintain my shit. I expect the same from my man. If he can’t cook, I will cook. If he can switch tires with one hand and he is a bottom, do the damn thang!

      My point is we should limited ourselves and each other. I am SO much more then just a ‘wolf’ or a top.

      1. Like……

5. I see his point. I don’t think he is saying he wants to be taken care of. I think he is saying he is tired of lazy ass dudes. I could be wrong but this is what I gathered.

   1. I get that part.

      I don’t want a lazy dude period. Your dick & ass is not made of gold so if I gotta hustle to make it, you do to.

      I am just questioning this role playing shit.

      I mean we are all men aren’t we?

      1. Everyone is role playing when you think about it.Every sexual orientation has people role playing.Men/women, Tops/bottoms, and studs/feminine lesbians.I am a bottom, I like penis, and I have no desire to use mine. I agree both men should be acting like men, but in a sense, we are role playing to some degree. If you think not, then you are in denial.

   2. Yea I get where he’s coming from man, but I’m just saying that it’s Foxes out there who have nothing going for themselves and the want to lay up under us Wolves. The only point I’m making is Foxes can be lazy too. All foxes aren’t doing big things.
      Examples:
      What about the dope boy who happens to be a Fox on the corner selling weed instead of looking for a job?

      What about the Fox who is in and out of jail because he’s not working and the only way he can get money is by robbing others out of their shit?

      What about the spoiled rich Fox who is living of his parents fortune?

      What about the Fox who is living off with his friend eating his food and not paying his part of the rent?

      You feel me?

      1. And it ain’t got shit to do with him being a fox.

         You just a LAZY ass man and you won’t make it far in life.

         An old man living off the government (if you are lucky.)

         Gay men in general should stay FAR away from the men that you describe above.

      2. He thinks because he’s a fox it’s ok for him to be one of the types of men I listed above. A wolf is supposed to just come and sweep him off his feet. Remember, some foxes believe they are supposed to play the role of a female which is stay home cook and clean, and run into my arms when I come in the door from work. That actually would be cute and sexy if we lived in a fantasy world lol, but this is reality. We have bills, and times are tough with gas being between $320.00 and $345.00 a gallon in most places.

         To my fellow Wolves who are smiling as they are reading what I’m typing get ready cuz y’all are next.LOL. Be “REAL” men you guys, don’t treat your Fox like a black man treats his white woman. She works her ass off all day, while he sits in front the tv and on Twitter and Facebook all day. Then she’s supposed to come home and cook him dinner and get down on her knees before bed(not to pray lol) She drives him around while he sits on the passenger side with the seat leaned all the way back when it should be the other way around. Treat your Fox with respect. It’s not his job to pay your child support from back when you were confused about your sexuality and you wanted to prove shit to your boys and slipped and got some chick pregnant. Handle your shit.

         Don’t get me wrong you guys, I’m not mad.LOL. Just tired of people not handling their responsibilities. Man up.

6. To answer your question (kind of), wolves are lazy because they’re allowed to be, lol. A wolf has been told that all he has to do is have a nice body, decent dick, and some fox will scoop him up.

   It reminds me of awhile ago when I was watching this video about video girls and how those “legends” in the game didn’t respect the industry anymore because of how diluted it had come. Girls coming into the game, fresh, and just wanting to be seen. So they take whatever’s offered and do whatever they need to do in order to be given some shine. If it means shaking their ass with no clothes on, they’re gonna do it. If that means taking the few hundred and banking it, they’ll do that.
   In turn, that’s made it harder for the more established models to demand the respect and pay they feel they deserve.

   Same problem with foxes, wolves, and hybrids. You have so many foxes out here just willing to do any and everything to settle down with a man. That, in turn, convinces the wolf (rightfully so) that he doesn’t have to work hard. It’s a cycle.

   1. Same problem with foxes, wolves, and hybrids. You have so many foxes out here just willing to do any and everything to settle down with a man. That, in turn, convinces the wolf (rightfully so) that he doesn’t have to work hard. It’s a cycle.

      ^^Alla this; vixens have the same issue. The bar hasn’t just been lowered, it’s been buried. Wolves get their bills paid, laid up in your crib, and all they’ve done is (maybe) super-sized your extra value meal…and they still get to hit. I feel for foxes, hybrids, & vixens nowadays w/standards – it seems like you’re losing.

      1. Lets not forget the ‘foxes’ and ‘vixens’ who want the niggas.

         Bum niggas at that. He ain’t got a job (or a career), no education, a felony, kids left and right and don’t take care of ANY of them(or see about them.)

         All the bum shit.

         But because he is stroking their confidence and that BIG dick, they will settle with his ass.

         Never mind the dude who may not be the ‘ideal look’ but he got a decent job, great career and NO kids.

         Women/gay men don’t want that dude. He is too ‘safe’ for them.

         A lot of it is what we have been taught in our upbringing.

         I been there and done that shit so I know what I am talking about.

7. You’re not alone Luckey. But I don’t really prescribe to the “roles” top/bottom in particular because to me it marginalizes being gay somewhat. I don’t know, I just believe trying to live according to heterosexual norms is a limit to the gay experience. I think instead of settling we should be carving out our own lanes in a relationship sense. It makes it much harder for me to accept doing things “their” way especially with so much staunch homophobia still around as well.

   1. That’s exactly how I feel.

      Why do we try so hard to be like ‘them’. We want men like ‘them’. We want to live like ‘them’.

      Why not live your OWN truth the way you see fit?

      It’s less stressful.

      1. Yeah I’m now reading some more of your comments and I think we’re on the same page. My whole thing is trying to be like “them” in my view only puts us in a position of weakness, because “they” in the end think we have to conform to “their” standards when it comes to our relationships. Which we really don’t. I understand some guys enjoy being on the bottom more and vice versa with guys on the top. But Imo we really shouldn’t fall into the trap of taking the sexual roles whatever the preference may be and translating that into the typical heterosexual relationship protocol as pertains to gay relationships. We’re gay, we aren’t like “them” and we really shouldn’t limit ourselves to be.

8. Maybe I am different.

   What is with this whole Top/Bottom role playing mess? It’s like we are adopting this idea that bottoms should carry on the same attributes as a woman.

   Tops/bottoms is what we prefer in the bedroom. I thought that’s where it stays?

   Whether you are a top or a bottom, man should provide for himself anyway. You shouldn’t be depended another man.

   I don’t care if you are a top, bottom, versatile, you should be your own man. Nothing wrong with partnering up and sharing responsibilites but you should each be your own man.

   I don’t want a ‘bottom’ or a fox to just lay on his ass and think that I should take care of him. If I was a bottom, I would still feel the same way.

   Just my opinion. Help me understand this!

   1. And I would like to know your definition of a ‘nigga’ because I would really like to understand that as well!

   2. I agree with this.

   3. I agree with this 100% too…does Jamari consider himself a woman?

      1. I don’t think he does. I get what he is saying. I just didn’t understand the terminology.

      2. Luckey Star I’m with you.

         Jamari I’m not saying this is you and respect you like mad but it seems a lot of bottoms, oops I meant vixens, try to act like a bunch of materialistic Video Hos.

         This gay game is real simple. You get what you put out. If you put out superficial and grasping that’s what you get the fuck back.

         Immanuel

   4. Luckey you are on it, damn that’s the way I feel too. I can’t speak for all Wolves, but we have to do better job, it’s that simple. Oh but don’t get me wrong. I’m sure it’s Foxes out there who aren’t doing anything for themselves either, and they are depending on Wolves to bring in the bread. At the end of the day we are all MEN and we are supposd to be able to do for ourselves. I don’t give a DAMN if you’re a Fox,Hybrid, or Wolf. That shit don’t matter when it comes down to handling your responsibilities as a man. It’s not my job to provide for my Fox as if he were a woman(I’m not providing for her either if she’s lazy). If my dude loses his job I will support him until he gets on his feet again, but dude has to be looking for work and not lying around the house like a housewife. If he’s not looking for work he’s gone, it’s a simple as that. I will not be a sponsor to another man. NOPE. Catering and showering him with gifts is one thing, but if he thinks I’m supposed to provide for him full time he is sadly mistaken.

      As wolves is it our job to provide to Foxes? My answer to that question is
      no.

      1. Like……..

   5. Co-sign. I’ll do for you because I care, not because you expect me to finance you…nawl, son

   6. I agree with this wholeheartedly.

   7. Thank u!!! I get what Jamari is saying but a man needs to be responsible and handle his shit…doesn’t matter what his role is. And there are wolves out their handling their own but they are hella hard to find.

9. No. They aren’t. Sadly.

   1. i may have to turn out a hybrid.
      i feel it has some to this.

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