i might need to send a smoke signal or carrier pigeon to the new yawk unemployment

last night,
i popped a cbd pill and sipped on some chamomile tea an hour before bed.
i wanted to get up early so bedtime was around 1230-ish.
sidebar: i love the bedtime feature on my iPhone.
when paired with the apple watch,
it really provides excellent synergy.
the name of the game for the next day:

Hit Unemployment before everyone else does


i called these mofos about 7 times,
in the course of 15 minutes,
and got no answer each time.
each time,
i pressed a different option.

“If you need help with your claim…”

“If you need help with the status of your claim…”

“If you need help fighting off the demons of the fiery abyss for your claim…”

and every single time,
it said they were getting an extremely high call volume and to call back later.


is this why robberies in new yawk have skyrocketed?
crime is on an extra level?
all this talk about the rona and people can’t even get the help they need.
extremely ghetto; not a fan.
it is absolutely ridiculous you can reach an operator to exchange a shirt,
but you can’t reach someone at a government office to talk about assistance.
ay yi yi.

lowkey: i’m really calm about alla this.
i think that’s the part that has me confused.

4 thoughts on “i might need to send a smoke signal or carrier pigeon to the new yawk unemployment

  1. Remain calm. Getting worked up won’t make it deposit sooner, makes you age quicker and makes life miserable. I heard people who had to call over 400 times to get through but if you want them to notice you’re missing yours over everybody else, a lot of patience will be needed.

    1. ^thanks seli.

      i’m backing up from it for a day or two.
      your advice was needed and i’m grateful for it.
      i refuse to lose my mind over this so ima chill tf out.

  2. Do they have an email address? Many of these government assistance places have their employees working from home. Try that and also download an auto dialer app. It’ll literally keep dialing until someone answers. In Pennsylvania It’ll just ring continuously until the lines are free. Once you get through then we would select the option and then still have to wait to talk. This pandemic has caused a major economic mess. This administration has alot to fix after dump left

    1. ^im gonna e-mail them because this is ridiculous.
      our unemployment makes us go through this whole phone process,
      pressing buttons,
      only to be led to dead ends.
      it’s really ridiculous.
      you want to talk to an operator,
      you are sent to call back hell.

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