hiv scares the livin’ fuck outta me.
i think thats what has stopped me from thottin’ and boppin’.
compared to others,
i was not that bad anyway
i’ll be 100 with the foxhole.
when i had that hiv scare a couple years ago,
it crippled me.
i lost so much weight and had nightmares by just worrying.
it was a problem.
after being tested twice,
both coming back negative,
i realized that the “random hook up” life is not for me.
after this charlie sheen revelation on “the today show”,
i had to wonder about the animals and hiv…
Do you really care if you catch it?…
i’m talking to you.
no!
not you!
you…
the one who had unprotected sex the other day.
you met him off some chat site and forgot condoms even existed.
aren’t you scared?
does it not bother you?
do you realize hiv medication is expensive as fuck?
you know that it just takes one “something” with hiv to kill your ass?
or do you not care and will fuck whoever you please?
hmm.
“hiv is not a big deal anymore.
its not the death sentence it use to be.
you can live a long time with hiv.”
…like do people hear themselves?
i’m sorry,
but that seems like an excuse for hoes.
people who like sex so much that they don’t care what happens.
those are the people you should be scared of.
i am definitely scared of them.
listening to charlie sheen today,
his life for the last four years seemed like hell.
not only did he start to whither away,
but he had to pay millions of dollars to keep people from talking.
even tho he lived an extremely fast life,
i’m sure they are all prepared to make him “the messiah” because of this.
…like how did he really think he could trust a hoe?
seriously?
charlie…
wake up.
people don’t care about you as much as you think.
they only care about themselves,
which means they have no problems fuckin’ your life up with them.
its sad,
but maybe some people need to get hiv to finally “get it”?
maybe they need to experience it to understand it?
be the example?
i might be uptight about who i let smash these days,
but i had to wonder…
Why are people so out of pocket about their own health?
check out the charlie sheen “today” interview:
well he looks healthy.
hell he can afford “hiv”.
am i lying?
practice safe sex foxhole.
don’t get me started on you.
I have no probably with people being thots, but all these niggas out here fuckin RAW?!?!? I don’t get that shit. Staight, bi, gay, dl niggas…. Uugh. Y’all ain’t scared of babies? Fine, but STDs?!?!? I just don’t understand.
These comments are a trip That guy who said he hasn’t had sex and five years and still gets tested. Do you know how stupid as fuck you sounded? You need therapy to figure out why you are so obsessed.
These folks saying, “no sex unless I’m in a relationship” like you can’t get HIV or an STD in a relationship sound stupid as shit.
But hey, I have to cut y’all some slack. I think Jamari’s readers trend younger. I’m a middle aged black male and have a different perspective.
Read my blog. I have had A LOT of sex. Dated HIV positive men without a second thought. I’m a professional, educated, good job, good friends, great partner. HIV negative and plan to stay that way.
It’s very easy. Always wear a condom and insist your partners practice safe sex. Wear a condom even when receiving oral sex — you can still get gonorrhea and syphilis that way.
If you are HIV negative NEVER EVER DO RAW SEX THAT INVOLVES SEXUAL INTERCOURSE!
If you are not sure of a person’s status limit the types of sex you have. You would be surprised how much fun you can have masturbating together or making out.
Get vaccinated for Hepatitis. Consider getting on Truvada or Prep — it’s a great drug and is more than 90 percent effective in cutting down the risk of HIV transmission.
Find a good doctor who is knowledgeable about LGBT people. My partner “Van” and I have a great one!
In other words be responsible, get educated about risks, go out and enjoy your life and stop worrying so much.
And P.S. Brother Hassan I think I know you. You wrote a book about gay folks in prison! You preached some wise words on this chain!
Yea, if I caught the bug, I would not be able to handle it. Nope. I could not even imagine it. I keep my partners to a minimum and no sex unless I am in a relationship. I’ll leave it at that
Idk my opinion on it is complicated since I work with people that have HIV.
There is a stigma with having HIV and many people are hopeless and ashamed. If he can give them hope I’m fine with that.
All people that contract HIV aren’t hoes or thots. Some might’ve thought they were having unprotected sex in a committed, faithful relationship, some don’t know how to use condoms correctly, etc.
Many of them don’t realize they can still live a productive life.
I just imagine them having to tell everyone they’re interested in they are HIV positive and risk being judged and ridiculed and it breaks my heart honestly.
The issue is much bigger than Charlie Sheen.
Things are always scarier to the people who dont have to go through something. Im 22 years old and ive had HIV for the last 3 years . Whether he was forced to tell the world or not, going on tv to let the everyone know about his status took a lot of courage. There’s members of my family who dont even know about my status because im scared of how they will react. There’s nothing more frightening than living with one of the most lethal diseases, but it truly isnt the death sentence it once was. When i first found out about it , i literally was about to pass out. Then finding out how infected i was before the medication made me want to stay in the house and away from the world. I was scared that i might do soemthing and bleed on my little brother or one of my younger siblings, it was so scary for me. Being on meds literally changed everything but in a good way. It doesnt mean i can go be a hoe now that im on my meds, it means i can live. I didnt contract it being a “hoe”, i got it from someone who i thought i was building a relationship with. It truly is the hardest thing to live with because not only are you dealing with an extreme medical condition but its almost like social suicide. When you tell someone that you HIV, they treat you like something that needs to be quarantined. This disease has crippled alot of my hopes because im afraid that people arent wont be as receptive as my family and friends. Its smart to be be safe and it would benefit you to be cautious , just see how your words affect those going through it. Im on here almost everyday and i usually avoid comments but i wanted to state my little piece. When people say things , it seems harmless to them but someone else going through this might perceive it another way.
I’ve seen it first hand people so young struggling to come to terms with it.
Stay strong man!
Wow, thank you for sharing your perspective. Did the other person know they had it?
I’m glad that you touched on the social stigma that surrounds HIV because I feel like that is very big problem about it today rather than the ” immediate death sentence”. Of course that is still a scare but the way I’ve seen people react to some HIV+ people is crazy (including close family members smh).
And the fact that you contracted it from someone who you was in a relationship with makes me want to stay single forever. People can’t be trusted..
Yea, I know it has to be tough having it, especially when you have to hide it. Hang hang in there bro.
Jamari isn’t promoting fear or stigma. He’s just saying how many of us gay black men feel about AIDS/HIV.
I still have yet to get tested after an encounter that happened 2 and a half years ago. Why you may ask? Because I’m scared. And before anyone jumps to conclusions, I haven’t had sexual intercourse since.
As for the accusation that he’s sex-shaming, Jamari has given praises to many hoes, male & female, so trust me when I say, I doubt he holds anything against promiscuous people.
He literally says that people saying HIV is not a death sentence is, “an excuse for hoes”. So no, I’m not missing the mark. Yes, it is sex shaming. And yes, it continues to reinforce the stigma that all (instead of some) positive people are solely responsible for their status and that sex should be feared and not enjoyed, with proper education. What’s most funny is that majority of guys would rather remain ignorantly blissful sleeping with a guy whose status they have no idea of than to sleep with an honest, responsible man….similar to not getting tested simply because of the fear of results. Majority of cases are caused by people who don’t know their status, so truthfully you’re more of a threat than Charlie…(if you so choose to fuck) cause you have no idea what you can do to anybody….
It’s completly rational and encouraged to lower your risk in all things (including HIV). But when you say, “fuck whoever you please” and “hiv to kill your ass” (as in the post above), Nope, you’re subconscioulsy furthing stigma, and making more people fearful of owning their health. I call BS. Men in this thread alone have already admitting to failing to be tested, simply because they’re scared….No one would be as scared if those with it weren’t made out to be untouchable..
Btw, Dee Jay. The granny reference stays. Matriachs usually cooks for the family and pass recipes down through tradition. Hypertension markers are somewhat hereditary…so in this case, granny’s hammocks affect your health as well 🙂
…which I’ma still happily enjoy. But at least I’m honest about it lol.
Sir Devon, that was so well said that it should have been in all caps, lol.
Like I said in my earlier comment, no need to live scared, just live safe…& smart.
I get that you’re scared (it’s normal) but think of it this way, if you’re HIV+ and you’re avoiding getting tested that still wouldn’t change the fact that you have it and vice versa if you’re HIV-
That’s what helped me build courage to get tested before I started abstaining from sex.
Unfortunatley, this post absolutely promotes fear and stigma. The language you’ve chosen to use (which is usually pretty good) already: sex-shames, demonizes those with HIV who may have been possible victims and doesn’t take into account any of the other ways you transimt the virus nor the fact that you don’t have to sleep around to catch it. You borderline called positive people dirty. How irresponsible…
For a forum of mostly educated, same gender loving Men of Color (I assume that’s the demographic here) I surprised that more of you all don’t know the risks, in context…like the fact that as black men, we’re more likely to die from Hypertension, Diabetes,
Heart Disease than HIV….but ain’t nobody condeming granny for her hamhocks….
Sorry. You and a few others were not able to decipher the message that Jamari was giving. He was reinforcing awareness and cautioning everyone about Hiv. Also, granny eating Hammocks only affects her health vs. Charlie infecting others carelessly. He needs to be investigated and thrown in jail for his selfish behavior and lack of empathy for others.
Why not lower your risk factors for getting Hypertension,Diabetes and HIV rather than taking meds for the rest of your life to manage this illnesses?
HIV/AIDS is a touchy subject cause people get offended if you choose to be safe rather than hook up with every and any body. Being a slut will always be in until said slut gets the mark of the beast for their life choices. Ask the girls in ATL refilling their medication.
I agree.
Ppl really don’t understand HIV/Aids, others don’t care. Its all about what they hear about, not learn about it. Its life changing and most gays don’t seem to understand how much it changes your life.
So wait…we are not Still thinkning in 2015, that you can only catch HIV if your having “random hook ups”, are we?
I have a friend who was born with HIV, because her mother (like Charlie Sheen) was a drug user. Thanks to Meds, she just gave birth to her Second Healthy Baby.
My boys uncle got HIV from his FIRST girlfriend/love (as in his first sex, no “thottin & boppin” was necessary), he was 18 then…he’s 48 now.
There is so much info out there for people to REALLY be aware of, & know what’s what.
No need to live scared, just live safe.
Catching any STD/STI scares me. If you actually stop and think about it, the world is extremely dirty, i’m no germaphobe but i get why some people are. I’ll forget my phone before i EVER forget my bottle of hand sanitizer.
And if it takes an HIV “scare” to value yourselves on a basic human level,and not let everyone and anyone run up in you raw,then it underscores the need to NOT be so judgmental about anyone who catches it…..those values should have been with folks from their parents…
These gurls acting like Mother Theresa when HIV is discussed…LOL
Of course things are better than they were twenty or thirty years ago in terms of life expectancy for people with HIV/AIDS.That applies to many illnesses including sickle cell ,childhood cancers,etc.People are still dying from AIDS despite all the advances.HIV is a preventable disease so why not do what you can to lower your risk of contracting HIV.We do things like diet,exercise,etc to prevent heart disease,diabetes,etc.What’s the difference? Should we say I will go eat anything I want because there are medications available to control diabetes if I get it ? Or should we try to eat healthy? I believe in being responsible when it applies to my sexual health just like I treat to eat healthy for my physical health.
What’s the percentage of AIDS related death in the United States in 2014.as opposed to 1995 when the highest recorded percentage was registered…? The answer to that speaks directly to your flawed point. It’s going to require you get the tea on it and THAT way,you can approach it froma more informed perspective…
My friend Charles died from AIDS in Feb 2012.So it doesn’t matter to me that only 13,000 or so people died that year as opposed to 50,000 or so who died twenty years ago.He died from a preventable disease.He became infected after the AIDS cocktails were available he took them and he still died.So I will do what I can to protect my sexual health despite the fact that that there are now medications that make HIV manageable.I have enough sense to know there are side effects,I have sense enough to know there are different strains of HIV.I have sense enough to know the medications don’t work for everyone.I also know how these antiretroviral drugs can interact with other medications I am currently taking for chronic illness.
I fail to understand why you have a problem with people taking precautions to protect their health.I don’t want to deal with another illness.
At age 41,and having been out for 21 years(maybe longer than a few of you kittens have been alive), I’ve seen the WORST of HIV and I see it today…I went to eleven wakes and funerals within 18 months in the 1990’s…I’ve been to a guy’s house having drinks with him,and a day later he dropped dead from AIDS related complications….and in those 21 years,I’ve seen medicine move by LIGHT YEARS to control and manage this disease…the surge medically toward a vaccine has to be one of the fastest in scientific history…I don’t think anyone is comparing it to a cold or flu,but I’m sorry…IVE BURIED TOO MANY OF MY FRIENDS BACK THEN and have seen too much progress to have to read somebody promoting fear in his blog…be cautious,YES…be mindful of who you sleep with,YES…but don’t cry about a boogeyman that isn’t there anymore….I was there when HIV REALLY GAGGED THE CHILDREN…medicine is keeping folks alive and thriving,and that CANNOT be undermined…
^its actually not promoting fear.
i have to correct you bh.
it’s promoting awareness.
hell common sense.
i don’t care how bad it was in the 90s.
hiv is no joke and the medication is not cheap.
regardless how far we have come,
no one wants to catch it.
period.
^ and if people want to catch it,
because “we have all come a long way”,
then good for them.
no disrespect to you at all.
You just completely missed my point….’re-read my comment…I already spoke to what you repeated uselessly..not wanting to get it and acting like it’s still a death sentence ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS. Get a clue and stop typing boogeyman shit.
Regardless of it being a death sentence or not, the message is clear about protecting ones’ self. No it may not necessarily be a death sentence, but it definitely is an unwanted expense, and not a trouble I would want to have, especially if it can be prevented. Same goes with STD/I’s etc.
We may have better technology and medicine to deal with it nowadays, but I wouldn’t treat it any less serious.
^ what do you think are the mental effects of getting hiv?
Even if it’s something smaller like an STD, it really is frightening to hear news like that from a doctor.
Anything that is potentially life-threatening (even something like diabetes) can be a shock, may even cause depression in some, because in some ways, your life as you know it has changed. there’s no care-free lifestyle anymore, and you realize how tied to your mortality you are. It’s even more prominent when the thought of “not taking your medicine means I die” mentality sets in. (This may or may not be the case anymore, but anyone new to this is bound to think along those lines) The fact of the matter is, getting diagnoses like this makes you think about your death, and how close you may possibly be to it, regardless of whether there’s treatment or not, it’s certainly an eye-opener.
Especially at first where the fear of the unknown is at it’s peak, which is the biggest culprit of these thoughts and emotions in the first place. It’s more so the fear of CHANGE and its implications on their lives going forward, than the actual disease/virus/condition etc. Things like HIV and diabetes are scary, but can be treated, and managed, it’s all about getting educated about what your life is going to be like post-diagnosis.
I think if the person can learn to adjust their lives and get over the initial fear, it’s not too bad, they just have to live with the “battle wounds” of having to get medicine every so often, but other than that, if their mind was healthy before, it should remain that way.
I think it’s brave he coming out with it. there’s no telling who’s he’s helping by sharing his story, no matter how he got it.
Save it. This man had no choice but to beat his many accusers before he had been ruined. Why do people like you always want to call someone brave when they get caught. It is said that he is not being investigated.
To me ( remember it’s MY opinion) it doesn’t matter if he was trying to beat someone to the punchier not . Mr. Sheen getting on tv and admitting it was brave. If you Dee Jay don’t see it that way that, that’s fine.
Oh shit, Jamari, me tooo!!!! I had the HIV scared as well with this bisexual married guy when he ripped the condom when I wasn’t looking. Chile, when I got tested which took foooooreveeeeer, so many shit ran through my mind and when the doctor called me. My heart was racing, but when he told everything seem good and I’m negative which was a huge fucking relief ever since then I stopped hooking up too.
@Lindo…Wait, he ripped the condom on his own or did it rip from the sex?!
I’m pretty sure he ripped it because he was complaining how tight I was and when I wanted to switch up the position I notice his head was poking out of the condom, but I will admit it was my fault for not saying anything because I let him fucked me still. This happen when I was 19 yrs old, young, dumb and full of cum.
^hell naw!
and those tests take forever!
it feels like months go buy in that waiting phase.
I know! It was so torturing to wait like it was affecting my mind cause I felt if I was hiv+, God forbid, it will ruined my plans for my future.
Jesus really???? He would have had to come up missing for pulling that BS. SMH!!!!! I’m really sorry that happened to you.
Thank you, but it was my fault for not saying anything….. But what made me more scared was he stop talking to me after we fucked so that fucked with my head and something told me to get tested, even tho I didn’t want to because I was embarrassed tbh but I’m agreed I got tested. Tbh I’m glad he did it because it gave me a nice wake up call
Facts bro. I fully understand where you’re coming from. I haven’t had sex in over 5 years and I still get regularly tested for everything especially HIV. I don’t knock anyone’s life but I really don’t understand people who share their body so casually on the regular. Things happen, true, but that shouldn’t be your everyday way.
^hiv scared me.
i remember someone telling me to go out there and fuck.
if i catch anything,
i will be okay due to the medication they have for hiv now.
they was out here fuckin raw in these streets!
i can’t.
i just can’t do that.
im not emotionally built for that.
There are a lot of people that feel that way after seroconversion with the whole “F it! Can’t get worse than HIV” kinda attitude.
The one thing that annoys me about how this is all playing out is that he is being glorified for his “bravery” and it will probably work wonders in Hollywood when it comes to his career. The same thing happened after his whole drug abuse breakdown. The red carpet was rolled out after he cleaned up along with a few sitcoms. Can we say privilege?
The thought of catching any kind of STD, especially HIV, makes me very cautious.
^word c!
This is why I’m taking the next step in prevention by seeing my doctor next week for Truvada. Most doctors won’t prescribe the drug to patient, unless you felt you may have been exposed to the disease. By taking the drug, I want to truly see if there’s any side affect, and on Youtube most reviewers actually recommend it since gay men largely engage in risky behavior. Another reason i’m taking the drug, if I happen to bottom and the top takes off the condom.
I’m with you on that. I only had sex once this year and I don’t plan on it anytime soon. It doesn’t do anything for me unless I’m in a relationship with the person. Other than that if I just have casual hookup sex with some random then I’ll feel like I’m giving myself away to someone who doesn’t even deserve me or my time It’ll mess me up in the aftermath and I’ll be full of regret. It’s more so of a mental thing for me rather than a physical. AND you can’t trust these ninjas! Sleeping with everything that walks. God knows what half of these guys are carrying.
“It doesn’t do anything for me unless I’m in a relationship with the person. Other than that if I just have casual hookup sex with some random then I’ll feel like I’m giving myself away to someone who doesn’t even deserve me or my time It’ll mess me up in the aftermath and I’ll be full of regret. It’s more so of a mental thing for me rather than a physical.”
I relate to this 100%. That’s how I feel. Even in a relationship we gotta get ourselves and our partners checked regularly. You just never know anymore. Even if you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that you’re safe! All it takes is that one time.