when we were younger,
christmas meant something to us.
it was the time of year where we got free expensive shit,
even if we were bad,
some of our parents took pity on us and didn’t gift wrap a lump of coal.
if you were good,
you hoped your parents got you that thing you been hinting.
the hints are usually thrown out about thanksgiving.
that is the perfect time to get other family involved.
your parents ain’t buying it,
but your grandparents will drop the coins.
if you were like me,
on like the 15th,
you’d get your magnifying glass and start scavenging for the present(s).
when you grow up,
and you don’t have a family,
you can pretty much afford what you want,
christmas can feel like just another day…

2018 Christmas feels way regular to me

usually,
i get in the spirit of christmas.
i’d play mariah carey’s christmas albums,
eat a shit load of pecan pie,
and left it all just sink in me deep.
my mood for this year is:

“Whatever”

maybe adults without cubs celebrate christmas differently?
if you don’t have a close family unit,
you probably treat yourself to something big or pack up and go somewhere.
if you’re sad or depressed,
you treat yourself to some self care or tv/movie binges.
it’s really just a few days off until you return back to work.

i don’t want cubs.
i won’t rule one out of my life,
but today,
that’ll be a hard pass from me.
i’m gay and happy with my single life at the moment.
i did treat myself tho to feel “in the spirit”.
i already got myself something that i really wanted yesterday.

i reallllllllly want the wireless gamecube controller tho.

i’ve pretty much unlocked like 25 characters out the 76 in the game.
this damn little mac is a tough fucker.
this holiday season will probably be like the rest.

eat
binge some shows
and play video games

right now,
that’s good enough for me.

lowkey: christmas might feel different when i have a wolf.
i can add “christmas day nuts” to the schedule.