when you pray about something,
you usually get your answer.
i pray every night for god to give me the answers i’m looking for.
work wolf has been included.
well its funny how the f0xmail i posted led yesterday led to an answer today…
so as you know,
work wolf considers me to be his friend.
as you also know,
not a day goes by that we don’t talk.
he has confided in me on many occasions.
he has said that he trusts me.
i can say i trust him as well.
…so why fuck it all up?
he decided to walk with me to my station when i left.
it got really personal with our conversation.
i told him that i know way too much about him,
yet he knows nothing about me.
he knows things i want him to know,
but i have more on him than anything else.
if i was some evil person,
i could have used everything he said against him.
“i think you are a good person.
you have a good heart.”
i had to remind him that not everyone is like me.
i also had to tell him that my idea of friendship is 50/50.
he understood and said he definitely wants to know more about me.
he also admitted that he is really lost and i help him find himself.
oh and sidebar:
he admitted to me that there was definitely no cook out.
he was fuckin’ some vixen tho.
real secretive about it for whatever reason.
thats why he didn’t get back to me.
the thing is,
he is attached to me.
why ruin that with a silly crush?
jay said something that stuck with me in the ( x f0xmail comment ):
“I’m not sure it’s worth it.
Sex complicates things.
We like to pretend that just because we’re men we can masked sex less complicated
but next thing you know we’re all passive aggressive and possessive”
its hard enough meeting friends these days.
Good, objective friends are hard to find is all I’m saying.
I can find a fat ass and a big dick down the street.”
i guess what i’m trying to say is if he ends up being curious,
i would have to end up turning him down.
it would be a hard decision,
but i don’t want to complicate things.
we always ruin things when we involve sex.
since he is straight,
i realize this is just how it is.
another straight wolf who has gotten attached.
this one being different than the rest tho.
before i got on my train,
i told him there are things about me that i wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship.
you are good in my book.
nothing you can tell me would make me stop being cool with you.”
…see what i mean?
i’m stuck with this one and i’m okay with that.