Gain A Friend; Sit My Ass Down

camping-under-the-starsin life,
when you pray about something,
you usually get your answer.
i pray every night for god to give me the answers i’m looking for.
work wolf has been included.
well its funny how the f0xmail i posted led yesterday led to an answer today…

so as you know,
work wolf considers me to be his friend.
as you also know,
not a day goes by that we don’t talk.
he has confided in me on many occasions.
he has said that he trusts me.
i can say i trust him as well.

…so why fuck it all up?

he decided to walk with me to my station when i left.
it got really personal with our conversation.
i told him that i know way too much about him,
yet he knows nothing about me.
he knows things i want him to know,
but i have more on him than anything else.
if i was some evil person,
i could have used everything he said against him.
his response:

“i think you are a good person.
you have a good heart.”

i had to remind him that not everyone is like me.
i also had to tell him that my idea of friendship is 50/50.
he understood and said he definitely wants to know more about me.
he also admitted that he is really lost and i help him find himself.

oh and sidebar:
he admitted to me that there was definitely no cook out.
he was fuckin’ some vixen tho.
real secretive about it for whatever reason.
thats why he didn’t get back to me.
he apologized.

the thing is,
he is attached to me.
why ruin that with a silly crush?
jay said something that stuck with me in the ( x f0xmail comment ):

“I’m not sure it’s worth it.
Sex complicates things.

We like to pretend that just because we’re men we can masked sex less complicated
but next thing you know we’re all passive aggressive and possessive”
its hard enough meeting friends these days.
Good, objective friends are hard to find is all I’m saying.
I can find a fat ass and a big dick down the street.”

i guess what i’m trying to say is if he ends up being curious,
i would have to end up turning him down.
nicely.
it would be a hard decision,
but i don’t want to complicate things.
we always ruin things when we involve sex.
since he is straight,
i realize this is just how it is.
another straight wolf who has gotten attached.
this one being different than the rest tho.
before i got on my train,
i told him there are things about me that i wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship.

“naw jamari.
you are good in my book.
nothing you can tell me would make me stop being cool with you.”

see what i mean?
i’m stuck with this one and i’m okay with that.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

19 thoughts on “Gain A Friend; Sit My Ass Down

  1. I’ve had to turn down multiple guys for the exact same reason and sadly they never understood and ended up moving to the next one that could give them what they wanted exactly how they wanted it.

  2. He knows about your sexuality, thats why he never presses you to talk aboit your personal life. He accepts you for who you are, that’s rare and awesome!

  3. I’m going through the exact same thing with my “school wolf”. He tells me he trusts me like no other and that I’m his best friend. Even tho he know I have feelings for him (I told him I’m working on them) he never treats me any different even when I have my moments.

    I’m glad you were able to reach this point friendship might just be the best thing you guys have. He has your back and you are starting to open up to him more, it’s a win win in my book.

  4. Explain this: If there wasn’t a cook out why did he even invite you?

    Like why make up an entire event? Only to say I spent with a woman I am fucking.

    I am not trying to be messy but I don’t understand that. I’m geniuely curious.

    1. ^he said he was going to have one,
      but the plans got messed up.
      his family had other cookouts to go to and bailed on him.
      so he said fuck it.

  5. Good for you Jamari! I think this is progress!

    When it comes to knowing and understanding people, pay attention to your intuition (or your gut, as some people call it) it tells you everything you need to know. Body language and subliminal messages are HUGE in finding any answers you need about him! Pay attention and look at them objectively, don’t overlook anything and don’t read into something TOO much either and the answers are in the middle.

    Simply, just watch the signs!

    In general, just relax and let things flow naturally! Life is more fun that way! I’m glad you were able to get a friend (at the least) out of this situation! Things look like they’re slowly turning in your favour! Keep up the momentum!

  6. I’m glad u found a new friend. Take it slow. It’s ok to be friends w him just friends. Love comes in all forms sometimes not how u want it be love is love. I wish I had friends like that… that u can be truly open with. Hope everything works out. Follow your gut don’t over think and just focus Jamari and your goals etc. Love will come when u least expect it. @jamari

  7. thank you for everyone who commented and let me go through this.
    i try to post my feelings for feedback from the foxhole.
    thanks for not judging me.

  8. No problem we all need a place to go where ppl can express themselves and not be judge harshly all the time. Constructive criticism is necessary but is not always needed. Sometimes ppl just want to vent. @tamari much respect n love coming your way

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