Foxhole Book Club: No More Mr. Nice Guy (Chapter 7)

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I LOVED THIS CHAPTER!
I LOVED THIS CHAPTER!
I LOVED THIS CHAPTER!
one more time…
I LOVEDDDDDDDDD THIS CHAPTER!
omg…
when i say i feel like i testified about twenty times reading it???
if you are a nice fox/wolf/or hybrid,
i really urge you to read this book:

x READ “NO MORE MR. NICE GUY HERE”

you will be delivert.
so the chapter title for 7 is:

get the love you want:
success strategies for intimate relationships

it is all about “the nice guy” in dating.
these are my “break free” answers…

Screen Shot 2016-04-24 at 6.45.03 PMi am definitely an enmesher.
i have played the fox trying to fix “the wolf”.
i have tolerated less than vip treatment because i was holding on for dear life.
i usually meet wolves who want use my kindness for weakness.
they will get mad at me for the slightest things,
but allow the same from other broken animals.
they see me as a “nurturing” fox and take advantage of that.
i have allowed them to take advantage of that.

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i’m starting to see i’m attracted to wolves who need to be fixed.
i’m heavily attracted to chris brown.
why?
he is broken.
i love broken wolves that ultimately become projects.
sure i love aggressive wolves who have it together,
but they often don’t want me or i don’t notice them.
the weaker ones usually stick to me.
it’s like i have this inner honing device that detects when a wolf has issues.
this is one of the reasons i don’t get the same respect.
i can see why.
once i build them up,
they drop me until they realize they need a self esteem boost.
that’s when they come crawling back.
its a repeating pattern in my life.
one of the reasons i’m so alone.

wow.
that is very honest of me to share that.
#dontjudgeme

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over-involvement with work or hobbies
creating relationships with people who need fixing
sexual additions to porn and masturbating
affairs
forming relationships with wolves who are angry, depressive, compulsive, addicted, unfaithful, or otherwise unavailable
avoiding intercourse

****

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if i did have a partner,
i think i’d spend my time trying to be “perfect.
i am sure i would drive him away by doing that.

what i’m realizing is i need to always put me first.
my happiness always comes first.
in a relationship,
there is another involved.
if i can realize that they will love me,
flaws and all,
is when i will fully be at 100%.
you truly have to love and be confident with yourself before you can love.

****

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if i applied the second date rule,
i would tolerate less bad behavior.
i would be able to carefully point out red flags,
or behaviors that will cause destruction in the future,
and steer clear of them with the individual.

healthy males don’t tolerate bad behavior.
they know someone else is always around the corner.
they also realize they are worth more than some fuck boy behavior.
when i look at the people i admire,
in my mind,
they exhibit “healthy male” personalities.
male or female.
i admire strong animals who speak their mind.
they know their worth and they have many fighting for them.
that is one of the reasons they are successful and have no fucks to give.

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will do!

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they had a part about how to train a dog.
i’ll post it:

Screen Shot 2016-04-24 at 8.30.10 PM Screen Shot 2016-04-24 at 8.30.21 PM Screen Shot 2016-04-24 at 8.30.27 PM

giphy

can i tell you this book is helping me really see where ive gone wrong?
i have been following the exercises and definitely seeing improvement.
i’m about to be super jamari fox in a few.
i’m so glad we are doing this together.

until next chapter foxhole!

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

10 thoughts on “Foxhole Book Club: No More Mr. Nice Guy (Chapter 7)

  1. Hmmm Idk, I never been in a relationship yet. However, through friendship, I don’t tolerate nonsense, but I do avoid conflicts, and definitely not ask for what I want because I tend to feel guilty and if someone gives me something then I am compel to give something back and I don’t like that. When I have a relationship then I will come back to this.

  2. I just got done with the chapter and I have to say that it’s the first chapter in the book I really got into fully.

    Break Free Activity # 30

    Are you an enmesher or an avoider in your present relationship? How would your partner see you? Does the pattern ever change? What roles have you played in past relationships?

    — I’m defiantly a enmesher, I have done those thing with my wolf “friend” who I’m taking the break from now. I would buy him food because he didn’t have any, give him rides, and buy him gifts because I knew it would make him happy. He was a having a hard time get stable work because of his felonies and shady background so I was helping him out being “nice”, but couldn’t se that I was setting myself up for failure.

    He would see me as a nice caring person ( his words), but deep down I did those things not out of kindness but because I had strong feelings for him (
    which he knew about)

    Breaking Free Activity # 33

    List some of the ways you try to please your partner. What changes would you make if you did not have to worry about making him happy?

    — doing nice stuff for him without him having to ask

    — being passive

    — not asking for sexual things to keep the “friendship” pure (Don’t judge me)

    — doing nice stuff even when he could tell it was a pain in the ass to me.

    —If I didn’t have to worry about making anyone else happy I would do and say whatever the fuck I wanted to in the way I meant for it to come out.

    Breaking free Activity # 34

    Are there any areas in your personal relationships in which you avoid setting appropriate boundaries?

    — I don’t know how to say no in a way that means it without sounding frustrated.

    If you applied the Second Date rule or the Healthy Male rule to these situations, how might you change your behavior?

    — I would act like a fuckboy, they put themselves first say what they want and don’t back pedal. Vixens and foxes alike get off in that behavior and tend to bend to their wills.

  3. Hmm. Confession time. I’ve avoided sec with my partner for 2 months now. He broke a trust. Caught him in a lie. He made a demand. Told him how dare he demand anything of me….he’s mad..I’m sippin a beer. I don’t do demands. I mat be kind still but I can’t overextended myself. DO I Take It At wodk. Yes. Do I delay punishment to those who really deserve yes. Do I pull back loving feelings who deserve love …yes

      1. If he cheat..I know it aint real. Cheating ain’t just physical. .sexual..it starts mentally and emotionally. Let them have cake. I know what I have to offer in a relationship. If anyone wants to cheat and leave it…do it. I can get a nut too if I choose and when I choose

  4. I can’t really answer any of these because I’ve never been in a relationship nor have I had any deep male friendships so this is gonna be short.

    #30
    I’m definitely an avoider.

    #31
    over-involvement with work or hobbies
    sexual addictions to porn and masturbating
    avoiding intercourse

    #34
    Avoid dealing with situation because it might cause conflict
    Sacrifice myself to keep the peace

    I’m starting to realize I need to just man up. I can’t avoid conflict no matter how hard I try to. I don’t know if the day will ever come when I can finally stop being afraid of going there. For now I’ll just do my best to ignore it even harder.

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