FOXMAIL
Oh my gosh Jamari
I’m literally going through this experience at school. I attend this HBCU and I have been dating him since school started, we broke up beginning of last week, and we were still “friends” and still cool, at least according to him. Then Thursday afternoon everything changed for some reason, he’s not talking to me anymore, I gave him 2 days to his self and I went out drinking, and I unfortunately fell victim to the drunk texting scandal, mainly because he was watching all of my snaps, so I sent him a snap. No response. Called him. No answer. A text. He read it 30 minutes after and didn’t reply, I leave the situation alone, the next day I text him to find out I’m on the block list… Well today, I see him in the café at school with his friends and they sit in my line of view purposefully I’m guessing, one of his friends knew about us and the other one didn’t, he is kind of in the closet still, and for some reason he finally decides to unfollow me on Instagram, now keep in mind it’s been like 4 days since he blocked me but yet he still watches everything I do on snapchat.i was there for him when he was depressed and having bad thoughts. And when he didn’t have any money I supported our relationship, buying him stuff, paying for our dates and food. I was even there when he thought he contracted hiv from an ex. I still love him even though he’s being a total ass. I’ve been having thoughts of popping up on his ass.
What do I do?
MY ANSWER…
see thats the shit i be talkin’ about.
as you know i’m also going through (kinda) the same situation.
although i’m not dating mine,
i know what its like to get the silent treatment.
as much as “ratchet jamari” wants to fly out…
…i refuse to be “that jackal”.
the ones i talk about for not holdin’ it together.
don’t be “that animal”.
please?
ya know reader…
i’ll take some of the advice the foxhole has given me for you.
i know it sucks.
it isn’t fun to be “ignored”.
when you share something special,
and it ends,
you hope it ends on a mutual understanding.
well sometimes it doesn’t and “he” can turn into a real asshole.
he forgets all the good things you did for him.
all the fun you had suddenly never happened.
he is “in his feelings” and taking it out on you.
fine.
“nah nah nee boo boo” to you too.
doesn’t mean you need to stick around for his nonsense.
the best revenge is going about your life.
you mirror his actions.
you are way too busy to even notice what he is doing.
if you give him a reaction,
he knows he has you.
don’t give him that satisfaction.
you got homework to do and a life to live.
do it.
sooner of later,
and if doesn’t come to his senses,
he will become a “distant memory”.
“that fuck boi i use to know”.
its up to you if you want to entertain him if he decides to come back.
like most fuck bois,
they always come back.
they see the forest is cold place without you.
for me,
i like closure.
tell me i was an asshole,
a bitch,
a nag,
or i became really fuckin’ annoying.
tell me that shit.
i want to be on the same page if we are closing the book we shared.
you are owed that much.
it doesn’t mean you will get it tho.
so think back and see if you did anything wrong.
be honest with yourself about it.
it takes two and he wouldn’t go to such extremes “just because”.
like he took you off all his social media.
you know thats serious.
if you feel you did nothing,
and he just a fuck boi,
then just throw in the towel and move on.
it won’t be easy,
but no one said it would be.
hope this helps!
stay positive and try not to beat yourself up over it.
i actually put my inner boxing gloves down today.
i’ll let god handle it from now on
love,
jamari fox
lowkey: i love how many have a #workwolfproblems.
i love how thats a “thing”.
thanks for not letting me feel so alone.
I’m petty like that. I will block you on everything. But true reality that’s how I get over you. Out of sight, out if mind
Baby, you let that muthafucka go, okay? There is a reason why they are called exes, to be X outta your life and to make room for your new love. It’s a good thing that he unfollowed and blocked you because when your new boo comes around he gonna be wondering why you’re still connected to your ex and all…. So let it go, have a couple of tears and grow up. If he still checking on your snapchat, just move on. point, blank, period.
im starting to accept that reality now, even though it is a tough pill to swallow. and he didnt even block me on instagram, he just unfollowed me, even though he blocked my number :/
Let him go. It the best thing for you to do tbh…. Maybe do some retail therapy and go out cause the right guy might be out there waiting for you.
We’ve all been there on some level.
I feel like I learned one thing quicker than a lot of dudes who are attracted to dudes….
They come and go! A lot of them with no explanation or reason at all. You can obsess over it or keep it moving. Your choice.
I’m personally done with the obsessing part. I’m not letting anyone take up space in my head.
Even on the rare occasions where I did genuinely enjoy someone’s company, I kept my feet firmly planted on the ground knowing that this dude could be ghost next week.
^i was actually nervous to read your comment lol
LMAO! Why?
Am I the resident, insensitive jackass or something?
^ive learned,
out of all the foxhole,
everyone needs to have their thick skin on when reading your comments.
mine included.
the man follows right after.
lol
LMAO @Jamari. We are a tough bunch lol
Weeeeell lol i respect your opinion but im totally different, thats your personality, ive been seriously dating since i was 14 (ik what does a 14 year old know about dating) well i didnt know much but after 7 years of doing this ive learned about myself and life, you cant treat every situation the same, and you also cant just kind of keep it in the back of your mind that dude could be gone next week, with that mentality how will you ever truly open up to love? what if you meet the love of your life and he wants to commit and youre hesitant and unsure if hes permanent? true a lot of us make the mistake of trying to make a temporary person or situation permanent and we learn from it. all im saying is open up a little more, and maybe im reading too deep into the comment. and yes opening up more leaves you open to pain and hurt but also to learning valuable lessons and personal growth,(sidenote im a english and psychology double major, which is sad because i can barely manage my love life)
I was a psych major as well.
The thing older people use to tell me when I was your age that I couldn’t wrap my head around at the time was that in college people are going to change in the blink of the eye and 90% of your friendships and relationships in college years and 20s are temporary.
I think it’s healthy to be apprehensive. Too many dudes jump into relationships quickly without even knowing the person and the end result are double digit number of “relationships” with none lasting more than 2 months by the time they’re 30.
You saying you guys broke up to work on being friends sounds strange. You should’ve been friends first and had that solid foundation first. That doesn’t develop in two weeks.
That being said, he blocked you and is ignoring you. Those actions speak very loudly. Sounds like the only thing you need to do is come to terms.
@JAY ^^This. Well said.
You did something, and I have an idea you know what it was. As Jamari said, he did not go to such extremes for nothing now. There are parts missing to this story, and all you are telling us is his actions without the cause of them. You know you did something lol. He agreed to be friends, and for some reason he had a change of heart. That dude is hurt. He is lurkin tho, which is a sign he low-key cares, but he does not want you to know it. If you know you did something, you have to make amends, but you should not be chasing him down or begging, never do that. Extend an olive branch to him and see if he will bite.
I know about the silent treatment now. Two people are giving it to me, but I am returning the favor lol. I am not blocked tho. However, I have a ticking clock, my time in college is coming to an end. I have to break lol. UGH Damn!
Lol. I was thinking the same thing. I need him to elaborate on the “drunk texting scandal.” Notice how that part of the story was left out.
Also, school just started in August/September. It’s early November…Ya’ll started dating this year? I’m trying to understand this timeline.
it wasnt really that much of a “scandal” i was at a party and drunk, i saw him watching my stuff and posting on snapchat, so i sent him a drunk snap, which was opened but no response, i called him, no answer, and i texted him, after that i gave up. and we actually met before school started, seeing as how hes in the band and was in summer school and summer practice for the band, and i was up there during the summer, i only stay like 35-40 minutes away from campus and commute, and he stays on campus.
lol well i dont think i did anything, his reason for us breaking up was that he wanted us to work on our friendship and building our bond, and we mutually agreed to not get involved with other people, and i didnt like it but i agreed with him, we got into a relationship after only like 2 week of us talking, but we were together about 4 months, and i know it doesnt seem like a long time to some people but it was kind of intense considering we were talking all day everyday.but the day before he quit talking to me was one of our best days together. true enough the day he unfollowed me i was hanging out with this guy who is cute but were just friends, and im kinda guessing he assumed we were talking, but thats on him not me, he didnt ask me about him or anything, and at that point he hadnt talked to me in 3 days, although i have kind of been showing out, going to parties and turning up everynight. “wearing less and going out more” and i forgot to mention theres an age gap hes only 18 and im just a few months away from being 21, hes a freshman and i a junior, and i dont feel the need to apologize for anything seeing as how i did nothing wrong, and i do feel like we do need to talk and make amends, but i definitely am not gonna chase him down. i dont even want an apology but just an explanation as to why. i think ill just write him a letter and leave it on his car.
That is the problem. He is too young for you in my opinion. The maturity level is not yet for him, which is why he is acting like that. Lurking and shit, knowing he miss you. I agree with the letter idea as well.
How less are you wearing tho? Don’t be out here naked lol.
Sounds like you are too “out” for him and he isn’t ready for it. Also tge dude you were seen with…well you don’t know who knows who and dudes talk and gossip more than girls. The way you describe it sounds like you were out thottin around campus causing way too much attention
@ the man lol well not that much less. ive worn a few mesh/see through shirts to show off my nipple rings ,and the other day i wore faux fur vest no shirt underneath with some destroyed jeans a gold chain and some timbs, nothing to drastic i think, but enough to grab attention, although all my friends tell me i dress like im going to a fashion show or the club rather than class, but i believe in dressing how you feel and if youre feeling sexy and confident you should show it
and @tony i thought that too, but it seemed like he didnt have a problem with that, we showed certain levels of affection in public, like hugging, and hold his arm or hand, i didnt take it too far because i know how he was feeling but before we broke up he got mad at me for not kissing him in public, and i definitely wasnt thotting, considering i havent had sex with anyone since like june, not even my ex, and i dont think i was causing too much attention, we and dude were simply having lunch with a few mutual friends it wasnt even a one on one thing
To the reader,
Maybe he’s hurting from the breakup and just acting out to get your attention. If he’s doing that then you’re falling right into his trap. Try to put your mind and energy into something at your school ( classes, join a club around school, or workout at the campus fitness center).
He sounds like a fuck boy and you can do better! Good luck keep your head up.
P.S. Jamari that hashtag is cute ( even tho I know you’re going through it) it’s kinda like branding for your blog 🤗
Thank you, and im trying to. It kinda suck because now i realize i was so wrapped up in him that i was missing out on life, now im being more social at school and making new friends. It just sucks that even after all this i still love him.
^dont feel bad for how you feel.
ride the wave and feel the emotions.
it will help in the moving on process.
I know this feeling, it sucks! but you’ll be ok. With time you’ll care less and less, and he’ll want to pop up out of nowhere like “hey, long time no speak”. It’s ur choice from there if you want to respond, or get payback.
What I learned from my “work wolf” situation is, don’t let anyone have that power over you. Because if they leave, you’ll feel like it’s the end of the world.