f0xmail: I’m Questioning My Role As A “Fox”. Help!


hello dear jamari…

you have no idea how I love your post and relate to some of the things you do say, knowing that you are more of a fox,helps me to really follow and see the dynamics in this lifestyle, I’m writing to you because,I don’t know what is going on with me, I started my sexual life 2 years ago as a fox,but it feels like I don’tknow if i enjoy the anal sex or not,I know I’m more of a fox since I seen a porn in my life (straight and gay)I knew I was the bottom,but for some reason I feel like I haven’t had “the”sex yet,the type that will make you go crazy even over the person or only his “third leg”.

is it because I’m a bit cynical in my nature that’s why I can’t let go ?
or its just I met awful tops lol?
or should I go for the 100%  my type physically?
(because i tend to lose my hard on and getting bored )

let me know what you think
I would like to hear your point of view,
that would help me a lot as a fox (don’t know any around me:-(
have a good day


well thank you for the email and the kind words.

tumblr_mb757rNEe51qmfh3wlets see if i can assist you with this…

i always knew i was a fox.
from the time i started this life,
i knew i would rather be “face down; tail up”.
i love dominance and aggression.
someone to shake the shit out my disrespectful ass.
i also love when a dominant wolf shows his emotions.
that can be a beautiful thing.

when i watch porn,
i get off to the wolf taking charge.
sliding in and out the fox (or vixen) hole.
nothing about being a wolf or hybrid has ever appealed to me.
when everyone was rushing to the “hybrid” side of things,
i was quiet satisfied in being what i was.

the beauty of this life,
and life itself,
is you have choices.
you can be or do whatever you want.
there should be no judgments in what you want to do.

“no one does straight fox anymore.
i don’t know how people do it.
people like variety.” – them

“fuck you!
no one asked you shit.” – me

tumblr_lyn0sbwvkr1qje0bvo1_500judging from this email,
you sound like a fox who just hasn’t met “the one” yet.
you also sound like are frustrated and may want to try something else.

my advice?
go and meet a fox.
see how you vibe with him.
how does his submission make you feel?
do you have a natural instinct to be more aggressive?
if you feel an attraction to him,
can you see yourself banging him?
if you do,
and you like it,
then you might just be a hybrid.
if you see him as “one of you”,
then you know you need a wolf to straighten you out.

i feel like in order to have a good situation in this life,
you need to find someone you are 110% attracted too.

many of us settle for being a “1 hitta quitta”.
no one wants to let anyone in the front door to their heart.
its immediately go down to the basement,
head around to the back,
 or up the attic.
sometimes all at the same time.
you need to know who you are and what you like.
be able to say it and not care what anyone else thinks.
so many of “us” go trying to be something they aren’t.

who turned fox for another wolf,
but hates getting on all fours for him,
but doing it to not be single anymore”

or how about:

“i’m a hybrid,
but really a fox,
but with another fox,
who is playing a hybrid,
and we are both cheating on each other any wolf that howls”

…and hows that working out for them?
tumblr_mdyyeqkO6A1qetniqo3_500uh huh.
my sammich is good.
whatever you chose to do in this life,
make sure it brings you happiness and you aren’t doing it for a temporary fix.
knowing who you are and what you like makes a world of difference.
hope this helped!

jamari fox


36 thoughts on “f0xmail: I’m Questioning My Role As A “Fox”. Help!

  1. Sam and Jamari, I don’t know if you can necessarily blame some guys for not wanting to eat the cakes or kiss when there are a lot of bottoms out there that have dudes running through them, as in their ass and mouth, like crazy.

    Why in the fuck would I kiss some dude I met on jackd with the name “Head Doctor” nah homie you don’t even fix your face to come up here for no kiss. I should probably have a rubber on my dick too.

    Same thing with ass. I know I’ve wanted to eat some SO BAD, but shit I don’t know if that dude just had a train ran on him 3 hours ago and just got a wet rag and called himself clean lol

    I guess bottoms could say the same about dicks, but most of ya’ll enjoy sucking dick and to be honest, a top could just go find another bottom that will suck him and let him fuck without requiring kissing or ass eating.

    1. ^so is it better to be different?
      as far as how you present your package?
      the wolves on this site are classy,
      but the wolves in the “instagram” frame of mind have another way of living it seems.
      i also feel like when you meet one in public,
      it can also be different as well.
      again: depending on how we as the fox present the package.

      1. I feel like its assumed you get around if you meet online and you meet relatively quickly.

        If you got nice ass pics all over your online profile and your profile is very sexual I’m going to assume you have sex a lot. So when its inevitable my turn why in the fuck would I kiss you on the mouth. Lol

        The same applies if I meet you and 5 minutes later you rubbing on my dick or giving me head at the movies or we back at your place already. Im going to assume you do that fairly often and this is casual.

        So yeah it depends on how you present yourself.

        Look if I know I’m the only one you dealing with, you’d be surprised at the concessions I’d make. Lol

        Lol id wake a dude up with my face in his cakes or Id wait until he gets on the phone with someone and see how long he can talk before he has to get off the phone lol

    2. Jay I think that’s kind of a double standard though. I can only speak for myself, but of the tops I’ve dealt with, I talked with them over a period of time and then we became intimate. I feel what you are saying about not knowing the person’s history. But there are plenty of tops sticking their dick in any and everybody’s ass and raw at that. But you can best believe they expect to get some head before the main event. All I am asking is for the top to reciprocate some of the pleasure that I am giving to him.

      1. Yea, some dudes are selfish like that. I have to be honest, there are some tops out here who expect some bottoms to worship them, especially since there is a shortage of tops in the first place, not fake tops, but a shortage of real ones. It’s quite sad.

      2. I agree with everything you’re saying Sam, but like I said you know good and well that if a top wants to get sucked but doesn’t want to eat ass he can go find another bottom that is waiting and ready. Its fucked up, but true.

        I’ve never been given an ultimatum or pressured to eat ass. Every single time I did it, it was because I wanted to and it was a nice surprise on whoever I did it to.

  2. I mean there are cases where bottoms have gotten a curious dude hooked on head from a dude or booty too.

    That usually just leads to them sending you those 3 am texts though lol

  3. Lol I mean masculine dudes tend to roll with masculine dudes so they usually mess with other tops or masc, curious dudes in their initial experimental phases. This is when they determine what they like though and some stick to men more on the masculine side or they go on to more submissive or feminine types.

    A lot of them discover all the fun is in slowly turning a regular ass dude out lol

    This is where those head doctors develop their skills too. lol

    1. ^nothing better than practicing throat skills on some dl test subject.

      I really like that foreplay thing you described.
      sounds more intimate actually…

      1. It actually is very intimate, in some ways more than a bottom and a top.

        You can fuck a bottom the back in a very impersonal, non affectionate way. No kissing, no nothing and keep it moving.

        But two tops can get very comfortable with each other and that usually gets one party comfortable enough to try bottoming when they never even thought about it lol

        Then they move on and swear they’re full tops LMAO!

        1. ^in a way,
          that is actually sad to read.
          does this mean there is no hope for foxes out here?
          this is one the reasons I use “blow up doll”ish because that’s how most of us get treated.
          we can’t act like we don’t allow it either…

      2. Hell yea we allow that shit. I know I’m guilty of it. That’s why I just started laying my cards out on the table. If you’re not willing to do X, Y, and Z (eat my cakes, give me some head) you not sticking nothing in me lol. Im very affectionate as well. You’ll find a lot of tops don’t even like to kiss. I mean, how do you even get warmed up without that? I think so many tops are hung up on what makes a man. A lot of them are insecure about being gay so they feel if they don’t do certain things (like kiss) they can hold on to their “masculinity.” That’s why they end up being so boring in the sack.

      3. There is hope for you guys Jamari, but stop letting dudes walk all over you, and don’t let anyone up in you. That is the key.

  4. Man, there’s this misconception that men need to be able to fuck at will.

    Some guys like me aren’t built like that. I mean you always have one of those days when you been on hard all day and you don’t need much enticement to fuck, but most of the time if you want to go a few rounds with me there’s got to be chemistry!

    Chemistry doesn’t always mean freaky either. Sometimes being goofy and playful or shy can in turn make the other party more outgoing and dominate and it leads to some A1 sex. All of it depends on the people involved and the vibe, which you just can’t force.

    The best foreplay I’ve ever had was with another top a well and from what I’ve seen that’s the norm for most guys because two tops knowing without a doubt neither party is going to relent and bottom have to get creative and let go with the foreplay, where as with a bottom and top foreplay is just a quick stop on the way to to a dick down. Lol

    I’ve never just had a Earth moving bottoming experience myself. I mean the tops definitely enjoyed themselves but I feel more like I’m acting and channeling my inner Remy just so they can nut. Now when I top I usually thoroughly enjoy every aspect from the spanking, to the tasting, to the pounding and I usually like for the bottom to nut on me while I’m still inside them.

    I think that’s very important as a bottom to get in tune with your body and be able to nut while they’re smashing you. I’ve even encountered some bottoms that can nut with no hands every single time with no hands.

    My advice is to first go after someone you’re attracted to mentally as well as physically and get to know them, let their be a slow build up to sex so there’s anticipation. Allow yourself to get aroused just thinking about them but no release and when you finally get it in you should be ready!

      1. It depends on how comfortable these two tops are with each other. Sometimes they’re comfortable kissing and sucking dick and other times its one of the other.

        Sometimes two tops will grind on each other too. Shit half the fun is testing limits. Now all of a sudden a dude that never even wanted to touch any dick but his own is a little curious, next thing you know he’s sucking it. Then you wrapping his legs around you while you kissing him.

        If they keep doing this I guarantee at least one bottom will be born lol

        1. ^yet two foxes can’t even do it without vomiting on each other LOL

          how do two wolves even get themselves in bed anyway?
          this is turning into a really good discussion…

      2. I think two tops can hookup more easily, because most tops just want to bust a nut lol. I think its a bit more psychological with bottoms. Like you said Jamari, a lot of bottoms like feeling dominated. Two tops can please each other cause they just want a nut at the end of the day. Then they go their own way with no one feeling less than. Two bottoms would have more trouble because they need someone to be in the dominant position. That’s part of the gratification with bottoming…being submissive. I know that’s isnt true for all bottoms but I think it is for most. At least that is my theory.

    1. “I mean the tops definitely enjoyed themselves but I feel more like I’m acting and channeling my inner Remy just so they can nut.” Now those are my sentiments exactly. If I get with a dude and he tops me, I usually walk away from the situation wondering why the hell I bothered. I mean, it takes a lot more effort to prepare to bottom and then most of the pleasure is had by the top. Thats why I really have stopped bottoming. If it was a special guy or I was in a relationship, I would do it. But for just a little hookup or fun on the side, it just doesnt do enough for me to bother. Maybe Im missing something. I wish I could just love bottoming, but so far it seems that is not going to happen. Maybe Im just waiting on the right top. IDK

      1. ^the only wolf that banged me until I came was this one I met off bgc years ago.
        he was nigerian or something.
        either way he was 100% attracted to me as I was to him.
        he had bawdy and everything.
        we didn’t even sit on my couch for 2 minutes before we were pulling each other’s clothes off.
        either way he banged me all over my crib!!!!
        like fucked me like he been wanting to fuck me for years.
        we literally met like 2 or 3 weeks prior.
        it was couch to bed to picking me up in the air to couch again to froggy style…
        lawd Jesus…
        and I came on him like a geyser.
        the first time a wolf ever made me cum from penetration.
        I can’t just bottom for anyone and truly enjoy it myself either sam.
        it has to be with someone im really attracted too and we vibe on another level.
        everyone after him was just blah and I felt unfulfilled and “blow up doll”ish.

      2. “If I get with a dude and he tops me, I usually walk away from the situation wondering why the hell I bothered.”

        Is it like that? My fellow Wolves out here being selfish and slacking? Leaving Foxes out here unsatisfied? Sex should pleasurable both parties. C’mon mane. Let me get my hands on my lil Jamaican shawty, they’ll hear him screaming in the front office lol. They’ll fine my ass.

        1. ^i have this sneaky suspicion you are going to give that dude a serious pounding.
          the fact you can’t have him is going to make you delirious for that booty…

  5. Well, I always knew I was a top from the moment I realized I was bisexual. It is not about taking charge and dominating for me. I just a man who loves ass of a man, it is that simple and that is all that I have a preference for.

    My advice to you is to just go with the flow. Do not try and force the situation. The vibe of the dude should determine the position you want to be during sex. The moment you see him, you will know what you want to do to him. Take it from me.

  6. I can really relate to this email. I have always felt that I was a fox. I just could not see myself dominating another dude. Also, I am kind built for being a fox so I just took that as my role. However, I am starting to wonder if I even care if I bottom ever again. None of my bottoming experiences have been mind blowing in any way. If I get topped, I always end up jacking off when I get home. So at the end of the day, I just feel very sexually frustrated. I’ve never tried topping and don’t really think I want to. One thing I am realizing is that I really like foreplay. The few times I’ve done foreplay only, I came away very satisfied, so that may just be my thing. After all, anal sex is not a prerequisite for being gay.

      1. HAHAHA..I’ll just say that when most dudes see what I have going on behind me they want some lol

      2. yall crazy lol…id say closer to a dump truck….jk…i am thick though which can be a curse. Sometimes I just wanna cuddle but if a dude starts feeling on it they gonna want more than that.

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