f0xmail: He Lied About Having HIV and I Just Found Out

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sex.
it’s whatever it means to you.
for me,
it means a connection.
it’s not just “banging my back out”.
it’s a way to show someone how much i’m really attracted to them.
it’s a way adult’s play.
sometimes sex is wrapped up in pretty packages.
the contents inside may not be so pretty.
i got a f0xmail that i wanted to share with the foxhole.
the reader just found out someone he nearly banged has hiv.
check this out…

Let me vent for a second.

So I stumble upon this guys profile that was one of the first dudes I experimented with 8 years ago. We messed around but no penetration. It ALMOST happened unprotected because he was begging, but my dick went limp because I noticed he had anal warts.

Fast forward a few years and I see him on another app and he does say he’s HIV positive. I emailed him asking how and he said he was raped while drunk and the guy went to jail.

Now this fool on jackd saying he been HIV+ for 19 years and he has always put that on his profile.

LIES!

My eyes have just been opened to how treacherous these dudes can be.

Do you really think I would’ve hit him up like that if he had he was HIV+ when I was that young?

tumblr_inline_njf1j0UHWt1sj4qvui was so shocked at what i was reading.
once i found a response,
this is the next reply:

I tried to be cordial since we didn’t actually fuck, but he says “I just had my sister check my profile from bgclive and it does have I’m HIV+”

BITCH, I don’t give a FUCK what’s on there now. In 2008, you had no mention of it and you didn’t look sickly like you do now!

He completely brushes me off like I didn’t read his profile back then.

I asked him “So you were just going to let me be an idiot and fuck you raw knowing you had HIV?”

Then he gets snarky.

“I’ve been on my meds and undetectable by 99% so you weren’t going to catch anything even if we would have fucked unprotected and I’m more likely to get sick from being the bottom and I need to educate myself blah blah”.

That how I knew he was indeed keeping his status from people because he figured he’s the bottom and he’s on his meds so he can’t infect anyone.

HOE, I know enough to know no doctor would recommend you not using protection, much less not telling people about your status.

I told him I’m not the dumb ass 19 year old that would fuck with older dude that doesn’t have transportation, lives with a roommate, and has anal warts like himself, which is why he got dropped quick back then.

I realized both him and myself contribute to the spreading of HIV.

Me being ignorant and feeling like I’m invincible and HIM being a straight up LIAR.

My parents used to tell me ppl will lie about their status and to be careful but I just couldn’t fathom what kind of person would do that.

Us dudes need to keep in mind we are dealing with a population of men with a host of psychological and emotional issues and they can be immersed in denial their whole lives with no problem.

Furthermore, a lot of these dudes don’t have love, honesty, and respect for themselves so how do we expect them to treat others?

This dude was in his 30s when I was messed with him in my late teens! If he will blatantly lie and omit the truth knowing he had HIV I can only imagine what these dudes in their 20s will do.

giphy

this is one of the reasons i’ve “clink clink”-ed my shit.
jackals in wolves clothing are not giving any ounce of a fuck in 2016.
this was the final reply:

The more I think about it…I asked this fool if he was clean. I know I did because I’ve never been one of those people that are completely ignorant of HIV, just naive in believing people would be honest.

Dude never looked sick back then but fast forward to today and he looks sick in the face. You can tell he has some kind of sickness now.

With all this raw sex becoming the new norm these dudes need to know these dudes will blatantly lie. There is no honor system!

God was protecting me from stuff I didn’t even know about!

Really bothers me he didn’t just own up to it. He just kept up the charade like I should’ve been aware.

As for me, my penis has already been equivalent to a busted tube of biscuits. If there’s no deeper connection. You know I’ve tried to revert to my Thot days but I guess I got it all out between 19-23.

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it’s a shame there is all this bullshit just to get a good fucking.

tumblr_ncuo2hShdl1qk08n1o1_500what bothers me is the lies simply to hide their statuses.
it’s one thing to hide “you ain’t shit”.
see that is a treatable affliction.
hiding your ain’t shit-ness while giving out unwanted presents?
now that is where you need to be eradicated from life.
so i had to wonder…

Is 5 to 30 minutes really worth alla this?

some animals don’t even have any shame anymore.
sad.

Author: jamari fox

the fox invited to the blogging table.

22 thoughts on “f0xmail: He Lied About Having HIV and I Just Found Out

  1. It’s a law now, that if someone knowingly has HIV and doesn’t tell you and just has sex with you anyway.You can press charges and have his ass locked up!!! Don’t let these irresponsible muthafuckas put you at risk and just walk away free and clear.

    1. It depends on the state.In some states it is NOT a crime to not disclose your HIV status to a sexual partner.You have to research the laws in your state.In some states you have to disclose all STDs not just HIV.In some states it’s only a crime if you transmit HIV.

      1. 40 states have “informed consent” laws, which mean you MUST inform your sexual partner of your HIV/AIDS status & then get consent. The other 10 states have laws on the books that allow prosecution of those who spread/transmit HIV/AIDS as a public health related crime. For all intents & purposes, all 50 states plus territories have laws on the books criminalizing HIV/AIDS without informed consent.

      2. So in 10 states you will not be charged with a crime if you don’t disclose your status as long as you don’t transmit HIV.That’s why it is important to research the laws in your state.

      3. Y Colette,

        Did you not get this part of my reply?

        “The other 10 states have laws on the books that allow prosecution of those who spread/transmit HIV/AIDS as a public health related crime.”

        In simple terms, in ALL 50 states a person can be prosecuted, in some form or fashion, for the spreading/transmission of HIV/AIDS if the partner was not explicitly made aware of the other’s status.

      4. @Pierre the initial comment I was replying to was about laws regarding disclosure of your status.You said 40 states have informed consent laws that means the other ten states don’t have informed consent laws.Obviously there are laws against HIV transmission in all fifty states.In those other 10 states you can’t press charges against someone simply because they didn’t disclose their HIV status to their sexual partner.

        Read @Pattywat comment.Are you saying that in those other 10 states a person can be locked up for not disclosing status even if they didnt transmit or spread the virus?

  2. This story gave me chills all over. You have to be careful with the people you fool with out here. People are so quick to jump in the bed with a man without any thought of the type of person he is. Anyone who would lie about their status is not someone I would even want as a friend, no matter what the reason was. I do not care if it is undetectable, invisible or whatever, people deserve the truth about sickness that can be passed to others.

  3. I feel like this PREP thing is only going to make things worse.

    The dudes I’ve encountered that take PREP are taking raw gangbangs to a whole new level.

    Like if they gave birth they’d have a double digit amount of multicultural mutts.

    Too many assumptions. You’re assuming they’re taking PREP as prescribed regularly and not just when they’re about to have sex. You’re assuming they’re not skipping dosages.

    All this bullshit they’re teaching in school when they need to have a whole class on HIV and AIDS, not some general Sex Ed class, but a class that gives facts.

      1. One pill everyday. I have no idea if medical insurance covers it but I doubt it. So you basically have to trust when they 1) Tell you they are indeed on PREP. 2) They’re taking it everyday and not skipping dosages.

        You know these dudes will get used to raw sex and skip doses or not refill the prescription and lapse on doses.

        All of it sounds like a hustle by the pharmaceutical companies. They’ll sell a preventative pill and even meds that make a person that’s HIV+ almost 99% undetectable but they don’t have a cure? I work in the medical industry and it’s grimiest industry ever. They know they’d lose major money if they made cures available for most of these diseases that kill people slowly over years.

      2. PrEP received some bad press lately. I would be cautious before thinking PrEP is the end-all-be-all. Here’s the story from gawker: gawker.com/it-took-away-the-fear-the-man-who-contracted-hiv-on-1762691829

  4. WOOOW now this is scary, but what scares me even more is how raw sex o having hiv/aids is the new norm. Not too long ago some guy was comparing HIV to a disease that you are born with, but I don’t think he realize he is basically saying it’s okay to have hiv because everyone else have hiv. That really scares me like hiv should never ever be okay to have.

    Yea they have medication for it but works eternally different for those. Some will feel okay and act all normal while others can hardly move. There’s no predication on how the medication will treat hiv, plus there is no guarantee the medication will help

  5. No glove..no love. Point blank. I don’t care how phyne you are, how good the body looks, etc.
    You don’t put on a condom…its ain’t happening. In this day and age I could’t even fathom having sex without a condom. People are so quick to discard them too. I heard a girl the other day telling her friend that the phyne dude she was messing with doesn’t want to use condoms anymore ’cause he want her to have his baby. Meanwhile they been dating about four months. Ask me how I know all of this..because she was talking loud enough for everyone to hear her conversation. LOL

  6. Wow talking about a story that give you chills, and reminds me of being young and dumb as most dudes who are in their early 20’s probably are. I met this good looking chocolate brother one night many years ago, tall, masculine, just my type, had sex with him that night, but just oral, rimming, I guess heavy petting. I was so young, I was like I want to make this pineapple my boo, he was older dude, who dressed and smelled good and carried himself like a 100% str8 dude. Well he sort of put me on the back burner once we hooked up. I saw him in the club one night a few weeks later and I confided in a friend of mine, that I was attracted to this dude but I didnt tell him that I had already hooked up with him. My friend who was older looked at me with a panicked look on his face and said oh no leave that alone, its not good for you. I was confused, he never told me that he knew this dude was sick, he just told me to leave him alone for my own good. Thank God I listened, but I was nervous as hell knowing I had messed around with him, even though we didnt have anal sex, my mouth was still on some vulnerable places lol. Nothing like the wait of taking a HIV test when you are young, I literally could not think str8, and mind you this has been a few years back, when you had to wait at least a week, yes I am old LOL. Well thank God, I was okay and still by his grace many years later HIV free. I learned my lesson with this situation as well as having my BFF diagnose when were very young and to see him go through what he did before he passed left an impression on me that no poster or PSA could ever do. Well I didnt see this dude anymore after our encounter, and fast forward about 5 years later, I was looking in the newspaper and saw his obituary. Just a few months ago, I saw the friend who told me to stay clear from this dude and I went up and thank him, it had been so long ago that he did not even remember telling me that, but he smiled the biggest smile when I told him that he potentially saved my life and I will always be grateful.

    As I am now older, and just a little wiser, I can not imagine how 20 somethings navigate the scene now, I was lucky that there were no Apps, you still had to go out to the club to meet dudes and at least your friends offered a buffer or some messy queen would tell you, “that chile aint right be careful” You got a chance to see how dudes carried themselves. I was hell on wheels in my early 20’s, I was a late bloomer who played str8 with girlfriends and such while in high school and college, but my senior year in college, I started going to clubs and I have been corrupt every since LOL. I am thankful because I have had many one night stands, and I am still standing, but at least you had a network back then who would tell you about boys who may be up to no good and you had older dudes who would look out for you. In this social media age everyone wants to have unlimited sex without consequences and sleep with every beautiful creature they see not caring that some of the most beautiful ones are demons behind that pretty exterior. Please continue to use good judgement and play it safe and if it dont feel right, it probably isnt, just get up and walk away, let them blast you for being a prude.

    1. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experiences, that’s a wisdom you can’t buy…i really feel technology has removed most of our humanity has made sex as methodical as doing laundry these days and people get so caught up in ‘ass, dick, abs or a pretty face’ and lose their thinking…I’m no saint but i’ve learned that no one will protect me as much as I can or will..

    2. Tajan your experience really got to me I’m so glad you shared it here. W tend to get caught up in the good looks, fat booties, swag, nice bodies, etc that it can at times cloud our judgement. I have been there and I’m sure countless others have too.

    3. Thank you Tajan for sharing your story, you Old Head, and Jay are always dropping some wisdom and knowledge on us.

  7. Everyone PLEASE be careful and not just in having safe sex but also FOXHOLE get checkups just in general to make sure your blood glucose is fine, your cholesterol, blood pressure…Everyone is so focused on HIV they forget that Heart Disease and Cancer are the top factors of death for blacks, especially black women…Stay on top of your health, as well as your sexual health. Be safe, protect yourselves and live to the fullest…and walk in truth…TRUTH and honest communication would solve all the issues that comes with folks being deceitful just to get their shit off…

  8. This letter and others like it scare me to the core. To think there are people out there there like this is crazy. I don’t pretend to know what it’s like to have HIV or AIDS so I can’t for a second begin to under what the people who have it are going through but it’s always important to be honest. If I met a guy and he told me out the gate his positive status who’s to say I would kick him to the curb. ( I would have to of course think about it and be extra careful, but when I think about I should be extra careful with everyone)

  9. This is why my sex-life is damn near non-existent and I’m only turning 20 at the end of this year. I used to mess around but I can count all the guys I messed with since I first started (less than 20). But I can’t with these HOES, I can’t! Niccas will lie about their damn status over a NUT. That poster said it best, these dudes don’t love or respect themselves so what makes you think they’re going to give you any? They’re only in it for themselves. Anal warts *VOM* That must have been horrible. You can’t trust anybody these days! And are dudes really using their “medication” as an excuse to go raw? GTFOH! I don’t give a damn if you’re on Prep x100, there isn’t any guarantee! Stop being grimey and wrap up! Nasty asses.

  10. It makes me feel good to see you brothers are taking this seriously. Instead of using the term non-detectable, we are now saying viral suppressed. That’s due to the fact the virus can be non-detectable in blood tests but still present in semen.

    I didn’t mention in my last post a while back because it had become so long, but I see pictures online of drop dead gorgeous brothers, listing themselves as HIV negative, to whom I gave their positive test results. All it takes is anti-retrovirals and gym memberships and you would have no idea. Additionally, many brothers, positive and negative, are injesting semen orally and anally.

    One more thing: since HIV is not the only thing out here, please get tested for Hepatitis A as well as Hepatitis B. If you’re negative for both, it’s well worth getting vaccines for both. That way you may enjoy tossing the salad a little more. And, getting tested for the garden variety STDs/STIs should be a routine part of our check-ups.

    Not trying to scare anybody. Nobody on here, poster or lurker, loves ass more than I do. I just love you as my unseen brothers to the point I want us all to enjoy our lives to the fullest as healthy and strong black men.

  11. Every gay dude should do their due diligence and read up on these diseases. There is no excuse. I’m not knocking dudes on PREP, b/c at least they are being proactive. Sex is a natural act and no matter what, dudes will still have unprotected sex.

    When I was in college, I use to think people who had HIV were nasty. Now I just consider my lucky. Stay safe and be smart!

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