lanes.
we all have one.
maybe two or three,
but it’s usually one you’re really good at.
we always want to jump from lane to lane for quick success,
but never actually develop the first lane completely until we move.
maybe you do it on your own,
or the passengers around that hype you up,
but it’s easy to swerve and get into a head on collision.
i know my lane.
now…
Continue reading “You Went From Lane to Lane That Now You’re Lost” →

one thing we never talk about in the foxhole is rape.
yes.
it don’t matter if you are a hoe or prudish.
it can happen in your spot or at a hotel.
gay males can get raped.
like our mental health,
it’s not something we like to talk about.
in a “victim blaming” society,
you are forced to suffer in silence.
not in the foxhole.
i won’t have it or stand for it.
so a vix-bi directed me to a story about zeke thomas.
he is the cub to nba legend,
isiah thomas.
well he spoke out about the time he got raped off grindr.
very tough story,
but the foxhole needs to read it via new york magazine…
Continue reading “Gay Males Can Be Raped (All Fucking Ain’t Always Wanted)” →

this can show the foxhole just how fake others can be.
so i send this snow bunny that i worked at the last job a dm.
she actually started with me in my orientation.
she was cool enough to exchange socials that same day too.
every time she when she walked by when i was there,
she would always greet me with love.
i decided to send her an update a few days ago.

“hey _______!
i wanted to update you that i wasn’t with the company anymore.
blah blah blah…”

you know,
a nice update/great working with you type of situation.
she responded a couple days later:

“hey jamari!
omg i was wondering where you were!
i am sorry that happened to you,
but you have such an amazing personality.
i know you will bounce back to something even better!
thank you for the update!”

well guess what she did today?…
Continue reading “The Snow Bunny Who Hopped Away” →

when the folks tell me that there is no God,
i’m often baffled.
confused.
flabbergasted,
even.
 “something” has been guiding me on this journey of mine.
i get ideas that just pop into my head/spirit,
and when i follow them,
all kind of magically delicious shit happens.
that is not for chance.
that’s God.
lately,
i’ve been seeing:

111
333
444
555
666
777
999
1111

…all over the place.
i take that as signs rather than coincidences.
well when one of my foxholers sent me the following video,
i knew it was the work from the one above…
Continue reading “OH (GOD) YES! YES!” →

suicide.
it is such an interesting topic.
one i know all too well because i’ve been at that dead end.
you think you’re killing yourself will free up the world of “you”.
“you” are the problem.
no one cares about you,
or someone hurt you,
so it’s best you end it all.
they will see your lifeless body,
shed a few tears,
and throw you in the ground.
everyone will move on and that will be that.
no.
it’s a lot more than that.
i started to understand the trail it leaves behind recently…

Continue reading “Suicide Kills” →

when shit happens in your life,
you can go through a metamorphosis of sorts.
i have been feeling like that foxhole.
after being laid off,
and seeing who my real “friends” are,
i have been getting a new coat of thicker fur.
i mean,
i’ve been through this before,
but it’s tougher this era.
thankfully,
i’m out of “everything sucks” and in “taking myself to the next level” mode.
the fear i use to have isn’t like how it was years ago.
i’m giving myself a much deserved mental break after everything i been through.
one where i’m learning to just relax and not live in “panic” mode.

i was in the shower earlier and something came to me.
there are a couple reasons why things go to shit in our lives.

1) so you can be humbled tremendously
2) so you can do what your calling really is

there is also a third one that i’ll address down below…
Continue reading “Getting Shitted On Can Be A Good Thing” →