i’m learning this concept in my therapy called “forgiveness“.
people hurt me and i wanted all the smoke.
what does it serve me tho?
to be bitter?
mean?
un-trusting?
lonely?
not forgiving people who hurt me did more harm tbh.
alas,
i learned how freeing forgiving someone is.
will smith,
after months of being quiet,
has addressed the slap he gave chris rock at the oscars.
this is the video…

Continue reading “will smith makes a apology video” →

you will never be friends with beyonce,
nicki minaj,
or britney spears.
following them on social and buying their shit doesn’t equal friendship.
we are not in their tax bracket to be their friends.
don’t get me wrong,
they can follow you back on socials and invite you to events,
but being true friends with them?…

Continue reading “you will never be friends with rich people unless you are rich too” →

let’s say you are a blogger and this is around 2018.
you have a successful entertainment blog that rivals the shade room,
neighborhood talk,
and hollywood unlocked.
you get a lot of traction for speaking about celebs on a daily.
this means you can get into bed with many blue checks.
you have a reputation for reporting everything,
whether good or bad.
you get a dm from…

Continue reading “what is the price for your good stuff?” →

i’ve said it before but i hated my voice growing up.
along with hating my voice,
i hated my whole being as well.
i was always being picked on for something,
either at home or at school.
i highlighted and enhanced everything i thought was wrong with me.
i wasn’t like the other boys…

Uber-Masculine
Played sports
Playing “20 minutes of heaven inside her coochie”
Fathers being proud of them

i had a high voice,
had feminine mannerisms,
many would consider “soft”,
and my father was slowly evolving into the bitter betty pokemon.
i did love track and field and could run like black beauty.
in an “a-ha” moment today,
i realized something about all the things i “hated” about myself.
all of those things i thought were “wrong” with me…

Continue reading “i’m not my voice” →

The Situation

she was super pro-black/latina/fat/gay/trans/pronouns/everything.
she would use “-phobic” if someone didn’t agree with her.
you know folks love when someone is accused of having a “phobia”.
her stans flocked to her twicth streams because of her outspoken views.
i fell for it tbh.
woke folks tend to do that since they carry an air of “change the world”.
she was very unassuming and appeared to be friendly.
her friendships with other bigger streamers helped her too.
that was last year when things were all good.
i thought about her randomly because i haven’t seen her on twitch.
when i went to rummage around her socials,
she was gone.

TF happened?

well…

Continue reading “pro – bring a bitch down who is a demon behind the scenes” →

i am not liked.
that sentence was hard for me to accept tbh.
some people have made it pretty clear that they don’t accept me.
for years,
i tried to be a perfectionist when it came to people.
i was trained that way by a family who cared what people thought.
i’ve always tried to find love and acceptance within the crowd.
alas,
i wasn’t like everyone else even though i tried to be.
once i got hurt a few times,
i was battling between people-pleasing and not gaf.
i became assertive and not with the bullshit.
from jobs to people from my past,
i became unliked yet unforgettable.

I have the magical power of keeping some people pressed.

i realized something after a conversation yesterday…

Continue reading “the art of being (un) liked” →