i been feeling very “blah” today.
hell i’ve felt blah for the last week and a half.
from this extremely cold weather,
( x that odd interview ) i had on tuesday,
in between blessings due to this unemployment cut off,
and just feeling tired and “ugly”,
i’m just in a “blah” state of mind right now.
no one to sex me sane,
my gym membership is overdue,
and i can’t buy anything cute or shiny.
you know its bad when i completely ignored my shows too?
so today i decided to do the following today…
1) pray
the only other time i like to get down on my knees.
2) restart
i do this thing where i call it “resetting my mental hard drive”.
i turn off all of my devices at the same time,
stand up and “shake the monkey off my back”,
do some breathing exercises,
stretch,
and turn everything back on at the same time.
ready to start fresh and relaxed.
3) thanks
i sent “thank you” emails to all the people i interviewed with.
just to show my appreciation for meeting with me,
as well as refresh their own memories of who i was.
4) suck
i love hot chocolate.
i usually drink it on my couch,
blanket over me,
and in the middle of quiet.
usually in deep thought as the chocolate coats my throat.
my hot chocolate recipe
hot chocolate mix
cup of hot water
dash evaporated milk
pinch of sugar
whip cream on top
sprinkle a dash of cinnamon sugar
5) gooey
ima to catch up on all my shows,
maybe even a movie today,
and make my favorite:
apple pie a la mode
two slices of store bought (or home made) apple pie
warm in microwave for 50 seconds
2 scoops of vanilla ice cream
caramel topping
sprinkle a dash of cinnamon sugar
squirt whip cream on top
6) update
when i’m really moody,
i go IN on content.
either that or clean.
since my apartment is spotless,
i will update as much as i can later.
7) wet
i like to get a masssge when i’m stressed.
since that has been cut from the budget,
i take warm baths instead.
since it is freezing out,
it is much needed.
i fill my bathtub with a good amount of water,
while adding epson salt,
baking soda,
and scented oil.
that is where i want to do the next…
8) think
i’m pretty tired of this job interview shit.
i am way too talented to be in this position.
i should be happy,
ya know?
its like i’m stressing to find a job,
but i often wonder if i’m supposed to be bigger than that?
are jobs avoiding me because i’m missing my true calling?
there is no day that i don’t think about ijf constantly.
i go to sleep and wake up with this site and content on my mind.
i really want to live off my site.
i guess i need help,
but i’m starting the process for power.
i feel like shit today,
but i still feel inspired for greater.
lowkey: if anyone has any “feel good” tips that don’t involve:
someone’s body part in me
spending crazy money
let me know!
What exactly is keeping you from making money off this site [whilst you search for a job or work a day job]? I know a few bloggers that work as well as get paid or perks from adverstisements on their blogs, not to mention the recognition as ‘experts’ in their fields, which itself presents opportunities. I’m sure you have good traffic to your blog – I for one stop by just about everyday, sometimes multiple times. You’ve certainly got the gift of the gab, you are good with the expressions and above all, you have a genuine good heart. That resonates and keeps people coming back, even though they mightn’t comment often, like me.
^thank you haute.
you know what it is?
i thought my site was too “mature” for ads.
i do like to “curse” a lot,
plus the occasional porn video or two.
i didnt want to have porn ads all over the place.
i am going to look into it some more today.
Actually, I think porn ads will make this site sleazy. Perhaps you should target advertisers of goods and services you think will interest or reflect the sensibilities of your average reader and of course yourself. It seems you like fashion, also, LGBTQ people’s appreciation of underwear and other peculiar fancies and services, perhaps, you might want to explore that too…not necessarily the Andrew Christian ad types though. Lol. I’m confident you’ll work out something. Best!
I know it might sound corny but singing always lifts my sprites , try it aloud for like 10mins and tell me you don’t feel a change, or play god is trying to tell you something from the color purple…. crying from that can make you better.
Remember to remain positive and its good that you pray because God has got a plan for you. Before you know it, a door will open and you will be winning forever.
^thanks nerd!
keep praying for me!
Jamari, you will be alright man. Keep your mind right bro, and everything will fall into place. That pie looks quite tasty.
^you should taste it.
Most of what your doing are things most would recommend. You need to move and shake it off (like u mentioned). A really good laugh always helps. So does exercise (yoga/Pilates since your preference is inside today lol). If the weather was better I’d say go for a run or walk around the park. Do something creative (write a story, make cupcakes lol). Just get out of your head and remember that your gonna be alright. Your a fighter and we all have moments. And your loved, so remember that too. Hope you feel better 🙂
^thanks mistr.
i think its just a bad week for me.
i’m trying to lay everything in my head out on the table.