so the mercury retrograde is finally over.
this one was in scorpio.
i never hated scorpio so much.
for those who don’t know what the mercury retrograde is,
well via “horoscope.com“…

“When Mercury is in retrograde, technology, communication, travel, logic, and information all get disrupted, but understanding Mercury retrograde’s true meaning, knowing its dates, and how long it lasts can help you deal with astrology’s most nerve-wracking event.

Mercury is associated with communication, information, electronics, travel, and even clear thinking, so when it’s retrograde we have to be ready for a slowdown in all of those areas. Things break. Projects stall. We lose things. Breakups happen. Schedules are thrown off, we get frustrated, we lash out, and more breakdowns in communications follow.“

x horoscope

from halloween up until yesterday,
the retrograde brought the legit spooks into my spirit.

foxhole,
i was lost in the woods.

THE WOODS.

this one felt more intense than other past retrogrades,
tbh.
i have been an emotional mess from the time it started.
my life took a downward spiral since the shadow period,
which started october 11th.

a) i felt so lost,
confused,
suicidal,
and mentally out of it than normal.

b) my anxiety was at an all time high.

c) my job was an absolute mess.

d) i thought someone wanted me,
but i clearly was wrong when it appeared i might have been right.

e) i lost my joy in things that i loved doing.

f) my electronics have been acting lagging or simply fuckin’ up.

g) mi and her antics.

foxhole,
i literally felt like the phoenix burning within the ashes.

it felt like the devil or some force was trying to destroy me.
now that it’s “kinda” over,
i feel calm but still feel a sense of uneasiness and sadness.
i font “kinda” because we do have the “retro-shade” period to get through.
unfortunately,
that will last until december 7th.
according to what lisa stardust,
an astrologer,
told “refinery29″:

“During this time, we will be revisiting the story that began during the pre-retrograde shadow period on October 11 (which lasted until Mercury entered its proper retrograde zone on October 31),” Stardust tells Refinery29. “This is our third shot to revise the story. Choose the narrative and ending wisely. Keep receipts from holiday shopping, be mindful of travel plans, and avoid arguments with family. All of which may be hard, as secrets and scandals will be revealed. Be careful and mindful!”

x refinery29

i actually felt i failed this period miserably.
this is a time you’re supposed to stay calm and relax,
but i allowed myself to “feel” too much.
the cancer “feelings” are already intense as is.
in doing so,
i allowed myself to spiral into the pits of emotional hell.
it’s a good thing tho.

I’ll rise and take down mountains.

thankfully,
i can take a shot at a do-over.

I hope your last Mercury Retrograde for this last decade didn’t destroy you too much