there comes a time when everyone goes through a “worn out” period.
a lot of shit starts happening that can bring your energy down.
you start feeling like you don’t have the will to do anything.
sure,
some sex could release it.
maybe even a vacation or drugs.
those are all temporary fixes to a much bigger problem.
the problem being you.
so before i start,
i want to apologize to you…
i’ve been mentally exhausted these last few weeks.
it seems like during those weeks,
everything in my life went topsy-fuckin-turvy.
there have been some good times,
but i’ve been feeling completely out of it.
it has been effecting my will to produce work for the foxhole.
i try to update the foxhole as much as i can,
and with a ton of shit as i can,
but lately i’ve been feeling run down.
everything i got in front of my magic wand,
the one i called “my laptop”,
i have been shooting blanks.
nothing interested me.
i knew it was a problem when i didn’t get the urge to post fine wolves.
i did my press kit and haven’t even sent that out yet.
so i wasn’t doing as much as i know i could have been.
it wasn’t like i was partying or chillin’ with others.
i been legit sleeping.
like,
feeling tired as fuck and needed a good 12 hours to recoup.
that is not my life.
that also isn’t fair to you.
there have been other things i have been neglecting as well.
i wonder if this is what it feels like to “give up”?
if so,
i don’t like it at all.
well i got my magic wand back today.
my travel laptop is fixed and ready to go.
they replaced the keys,
the unibody,
and threw in a new battery for good measure.
my other laptop was way too slow for what i do.
i hope when:
i find a better job/my career starts poppin’
mi leaves and i get my crib back
i bring all this extra stress down
…that i will be back to my regular “foxy” self.
thank you for being patient with me as i deal.
*Hercules hand claps*
J, let me tell you I appreciate whatever you can do, I know you are going through the storm right now. I think many of us here are just going through the daily motions of life. This week for me has been hell. 2 different friends had loved ones to get murdered this week at the hands of gun violence and with all that is going on in our country right now it has left me feeling empty. In the back of my mind, I am like what next, or am I going to be a victim of some random crazy when I go out. I went on vacation for the 4th to unwind and have a good time at the Essence festival in New Orleans and it turned into a nightmare, I had a horrible time and wished that I had never went. I am now upset wishing I would have saved that money for a tropical vacation instead. I really need to get away from it all, family, friends the whole nine. I wish I had a boo I could go chill with on the beach and we get lost in each other if only for a few days to forget my problems. Do what you can do and dont worry about it, you got loyal patrons who are gonna be here regardless because this is our home and escape. Love Ya Bro.
^omg tajan!
im sorry that you are also in the storm as well.
i try to hold on to the hope things will get better.
God can’t be putting us through this without something good coming out of it.
i am sending my prayers to you in hopes of a massive breakthrough.
thank you for holding on as I deal with my own mess.
love you as well!
Our bodies do let us know when we’re stressed, you my friend do have a lot on your plate. That plate will be wiped clean pretty soon along with a new job and a new man.
^speak that into my existence!!!
thank you!!!
you must be either super good or I’m slow (lets go with the first one lol) because I didn’t notice a difference in content on here. Either way do you the foxhole understands .
^i’m just a perfectionist lol
i noticed i was slippin.
i might be too hard on myself,
but i’m very serious about the foxhole.
thank you for understanding…
Don’t worry. I ain’t notice either. And even if you are “slipping”, it’s understandable. You’re going thru a lot right now. Just find some peace and keep working towards bringing that stress level down. It kills man, it kills.
^i pray for a positive ending to such a drama filled july.
thank you aj and im going to make an effort to lesson my stress.
Jamari, you do a very good job maintaining and updating your blog when times are good or bad. You’re very consistent. Much more than I can say about myself when I get tired or stressed. I just crawl into a hole and disappear into obscurity. Something I need to work on.
We gotchu brother.