White Teeth

white-19of course,
of all the days,
my barber decided to be sick.
not having your barber is the worse.
you grow to appreciate his way of doing your hair.
i needed to find someone in the shop that could create the same masterpieces.
i looked like a wolf.
literally.
i had insane amounts of hair on my face.
i saw him motion to me that he was free.
i guess this wolf will do…

he was short,
kind of stocky,
dominican,
older,
and had these pearly white teeth.
he also had a bluetooth in his ear.
i didn’t know people still did “that”.
then it hit me.
it was strong too.
made my nose flare up….
tumblr_mijv4e9GCp1rhp8imo1_500… this dude’s breath smelled like dookie on the rocks!!!!
worst part was,
he was talking on the phone.
i think i broke records today for “longest time of inhale”.
i tried to put my hand to my nose.
even my phone.
i caught myself about to throw up.
when he finally reclined me to use the razor,
i damn near gasped like i was underwater for close to 5 minutes!
i know he was looking at me like “WTF”.
i would have returned the favor.
when he was done,
i was satisfied with his work.
$15.00.
i gave him a tip:

“use altoids”

naw i’m playing.
i tipped him 5 and was on my way.
did he not know his breath was bad?
it made me wonder about my breath.
i would hate to be talking to someone and violating their whole nostril situation.

bad-breathat least he had white teeth?

7 thoughts on “White Teeth

  1. It is my belief that people know when they have bad breath. How can you not know?! You will NEVER catch me with bad breath! I stay with a pack of gum and or mints with me. Good oral hygiene is a big must with me when talking to anyone. The offer someone a peice of gum or mint trick works wonders!

  2. Dayum J you had my interest at “Dominican” and then the “pearly whites” I was like OH MY…stocky is not my usual but Dominicans get a pass if they are cute, not to sound shallow just have a weakness for DR men. Stank breath OH NO, it’s a wrap..close the whole damn store. But how does he not know? Maybe he is missing a rack of teeth in the back. I’m just saying…..

        1. ^see that’s a good question!
          I’d have too,
          but how would they react?

          how do you tell someone they have bad breath tho?

          “hey is the little man in your mouth taking a shit or something?”
          “hi. your breath smells like you were chopping on dookie covered burgers. do you think you could tell them less dookie sauce next time?”

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